Blood Is Thicker Than Mud

Will:Girl, you know I ain't into that frat stuff. It's for a bunch of pocket-protector-wearing, no-social-life-having losers.

Carlton:The defense rests, Your Honor.

Delta Kappa Tau fraternity:We're Delta Kappa Tau We'd like to take a bow / We got the highest grades And we will tell you how / We study, study, study For professional careers / We drink a lot of Ovaltine But never any beers

Will:Revenge of the Nerds: Part Six.

Will:Where's, like, a big gong when you need one, you know?

Lambda Kappa Nu pledges:Lambda Kappa Nu song about blue blood and gold cards

Will:Man! Hey, I guess that's a tough choice, huh, Carlton?

Carlton:I'll say. Can I hear yours again?

Carlton:Well, my gold card has a hologram of Lee Iacocca on it.

Will:Excuse us, guys, it's time for a Negro moment.

Carlton:I was. Didn't you notice we all had alligator shirts on?

Will:Now, Top Dog, you know when it's me against you... it's one-on-none.

Will:Are you in a fraternity? And here I thought you had a life.

Will:But, I will have a double scoop of that, though.

Carlton:I wouldn't really have to go to juvenile hall, would I? I hear those kids are real troublemakers.

Will:Well, it don't get no littler than cousin Carlton.

Soap opera character:Twenty-six years of marriage and I find you in bed with a cheerleader.

Vivian:She really hasn't been the same since she had that sex change.

Hilary:I used to date a biker.

Vivian:Maybe next time we can actually hit second gear.

Vivian:Looks like a bunch of middle-aged men with too much time on their hands.

Vivian:Dan, you're an accountant.

Geoffrey:Got a moment, Fonzie?

Philip:Well, just look at it this way. If I take a fall, I have a 50-pound cushion.

Vivian:From what Helen tells me... she ain't giving him any heat anywhere else either.

Philip:Oh, yeah, I can't wait to see your first hot flash.

Will:Must be that midlife crisis thing Aunt Viv warned us about.

Will:Must be that midlife crisis thing Aunt Viv warned us about.

Philip:He's also an alcoholic. No, that's Judge Martin.

Will:Oh, no. You know, Uncle Phil, I got a reputation more as a free spirit.

Will:The frat leader does need a little help with his jumping. Maybe I'll join as, like, a mercy thing.

Will:Oh, but you better not try none of that run-out-of-gas stuff, mister.

Will:Yeah, yeah, yeah, just relax, Magellan.

Carlton:Well, are you speaking to me now, or are you?

Carlton:Actually, my butler handles the laundry.

Carlton:South central Bel-Air.

Carlton:I live right across the street from the Aaron Spelling mansion. You know, the producer of Beverly Hills, 90210?

Carlton · Top Dog:Dylan's on the verge of getting back with Brenda. They really getting back together, though?

Top Dog:They really getting back together, though?

Will:No need to thank him all at once, fellas.

Fraternity member:Brother from another planet.

Will:Hey, we're gonna play Hollywood Squares.

Will:Yeah, but the rest of us got to wear shoes.

Ashley:I had no idea how much Mary was suffering.

Philip:Motorcycles and black leather will never make me feel as young... as the love of a good woman.

Geoffrey:Oh, sir, the body shop called. They said your motorcycle is completely totaled.

Geoffrey:but have to pay for that box of Eskimo Pies you ate.

Uncle Phil:What would that be, One Life To Ruin?

Philip:What would that be, One Life To Ruin?

Philip:I broke my bike.

Carlton · Will:You've never said that to me before in my life. Give me a hug. Don't.

Will:You see, man, that is exactly why I'll never tell you nothing.

Will:Girl, if God made anything prettier than you... I hope he kept it for himself.

Will:Well then, mush, you huskies.

Top Dog · Carlton:The last time we played them, the party just kind of got out of hand. I know what you mean. You should see what happens at their concerts.

Top Dog:Well, Carlton is not like you and me. Carlton doesn't exactly exemplify what I think a Phi Beta Gamma is.

Top Dog:Everything your butler does for you.

Top Dog:I'm not accepting no prep school, Bel-Air bred sellout into my fraternity.

Carlton:Or maybe it's because I like Barry Manilow.

Fraternity member:He mean Barry White, y'all.

Carlton:And in the words of my illustrious cousin: 'We will make like a tree and leave.'

Will:I never say that. It's 'make like a banana and split.'

Carlton:No. Apparently, I'm not enough of a brother to be a brother.

Philip:Well, who does? I mean, you wait and wait... and when you finally get to the front of the line, everything's gone.

Carlton · Will:The Jamma Gammas. The bad mama jamma. The bad mama jammas, yeah.