Freakin' out! On the home intercom, Will and Carlton overhear Ashley talking about sex.
WAR
0.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Not With My Cousin You Dont” ranks #146 of 148 The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 65.8 — Mixed. The episode packs 59 scored jokes at 3.2 per minute, averaging 6.1 on craft and 5.9 on impact, with Will landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Hilary: But long-distance relationships don't usually work out. I mean, look at the Little Mermaid.
Hilary Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Will · Carlton: Look, you need to calm down, all right? Look, we need to find a Yellow Pages. I'm calling a nunnery. It's late, so I'll need a 24-hour one.
Will: Wait a minute. 'Whatever will be, will be'? What kind of devil-may-care message is that?
Will Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Ashley · Will: You remember the first time I asked you about sex? You panicked then too. I did not. Yes, you did. You said that you needed to have a license to have sex...and that I couldn't even take the test until I was 35.
Will · Carlton: Carlton, man, we ain't even Catholic. Oh! Would you have an open mind?
All Jokes — 59 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Ashley: Derek, you'll get in. You're too smart. I wish you were dumber.
Ashley Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Ashley: I'd have a boyfriend again.
Will Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Will: Look at you two. Almost a year apart and you two lovebirds haven't missed a beat.
Will Observational Irony/Sarcasm Will: Although, these are the moments of your life.
Will Meta/Self-Referential Observational ★ Rewatch Will: Oh, no, no, you're right. You guys are grown adults and I don't have no business disrespecting you like this.
Will Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Will Reaction Beat Physical/Slapstick Ashley Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Carlton: Yuck it up, Brit boy, but remember, he who laughs last...
Geoffrey: You know, I kind of remember him being taller.
Geoffrey Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Will Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Carlton: I'm gonna let that one slide, young man. Obviously, you've fallen in with a bad element.
Carlton Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Will: Me and my man, we call it the Hive. Because the honeys be swarming.
Will Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Will: That's disgusting. No. Actually, Carlton, that's a kiss. If you're lucky, one day you'll experience one.
Will Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Carlton: Very funny. By the way, Will, I just got a call from Oz...the Wizard said your brain is ready.
Carlton Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Will: Really? Let me help you.
Will Reaction Beat Physical/Slapstick Carlton · Will: I never liked the cut of that boy's jib. I'm not sure you should be admitting you've been looking at that boy's jib.
Philip · Ashley: Makeup? Keep away from that blue eye shadow.
Hilary: Uh-oh. Big-sister radar.
Hilary Character Comedy Observational Hilary: It's important, isn't it? I can tell. I have, like, a third sense about these things.
Hilary Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Hilary: Oh! To put it simply, he was a god. He had been held back three years so he was really buff.
Hilary Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Hilary: But long-distance relationships don't usually work out. I mean, look at the Little Mermaid.
Hilary Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hilary: I mean, she was stuck in the sea and he was stuck on land.
Hilary Absurdist Escalation Callback Ashley · Hilary: Any regrets? Didn't I tell you he was buff? Hello.
Hilary: Hoo! Now I know how Mom felt when we had this talk.
Hilary Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Ashley · Hilary: What did Daddy say when you told him? Are you kidding? He still thinks I'm a virgin.
Ashley · Keesha: Okay, what do you think? Nope.
Ashley: Well, if you guys don't pick one, I'll be going on this date wearing a headband.
Ashley Character Comedy Absurdist Keesha: I'm sure Derek wouldn't mind.
Keesha · Ashley: When? If.
Will: Oh, there's a surprise.
Will Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Geoffrey: I wonder how I'd look if I shaved my entire body.
Geoffrey Cringe/Discomfort Absurdist ★ Rewatch Ashley: Keesha, it's not 'doing it.' It's making love. And, yes, I think we're gonna do it tonight.
Ashley Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Carlton: Oh, my God. What are we gonna do?
Carlton: We'll make her watch movies. Lots of movies. Doris Day movies. Now, there's a good wholesome role model.
Will: Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be
Will Callback Character Comedy Callback Will: Wait a minute. 'Whatever will be, will be'? What kind of devil-may-care message is that?
Will Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Will Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Will · Carlton: Look, you need to calm down, all right? Look, we need to find a Yellow Pages. I'm calling a nunnery. It's late, so I'll need a 24-hour one.
Will · Carlton: Carlton, man, we ain't even Catholic. Oh! Would you have an open mind?
Carlton: This is all your fault. 'Ashley could never say no to you.' I told you I didn't like the cut of his jib.
Carlton: Need I remind you there are demons out there that go by the name of: Sexually transmitted diseases, risk of pregnancy...improper use of a condom?
Carlton: Thank God you're alive.
Carlton Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Callback Carlton · Derek: So, Derek, you know about football? Yeah. Yeah, you do? Or, yeah, you don't?
Will: You're in a visitor's ballpark and if you do score...the angry fans might not be able to be held responsible for their actions. And it's bat night.
Will Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Derek: All right, are you two in trouble with a bookie or something?
Derek Reaction Beat Observational Carlton: You're playing chess, your rook has been blindsided by the queen's gambit. You can play honorably, leave your bishop at home but protect your queen's virtue...or you can take the sleazy road and castle your king and go right for the mate. And it's bat night.
Carlton Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Carlton: Do I make myself clear?
Carlton Irony/Sarcasm Cringe/Discomfort Will: Ashley, now spying, that's such an ugly word. We were roaming.
Will Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Ashley: You know, I would expect this from Carlton...but not you.
Ashley Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Carlton Reaction Beat Awkward Silence Derek: Are you? Sure. Uh...I guess.
Derek Awkward Silence Character Comedy Derek · Ashley: So, heh, what do you wanna do now? I don't know. Miniature golf? Let's do it. Golf.
Ashley · Will: Back off, Will. You telling me to back off, girl? Hold up. Now, this is me.
Ashley · Will: You remember the first time I asked you about sex? You panicked then too. I did not. Yes, you did. You said that you needed to have a license to have sex...and that I couldn't even take the test until I was 35.
Will Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Carlton: That was so beautiful.
Carlton Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Top Episodes — The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
