Whats Will Got To Do With It

Carlton · Will:Negotiating for a bigger royalty? / No, a better table.

Will:Hey, now I know how Hammer must have felt the week he was famous.

Will:Like white folks watch Wings.

Will:Yeah, Rob, Fab. Blame it on the rain, brothers.

Will:I'm having a bust of my head made. It's getting helicoptered in on Thursday.

Will:Then blang, over to Phoenix. Then bap, bap, bap, bladow, over to Orlando. Then blip-bloop, we gonna slide up to Seattle.

Will:Oh, no, no, no, bro, I said 'I got dates.' See, I got Tina in New York. I got Beth in Seattle. Ohh. Actually, I might need a couple days in Seattle. Beth is a big girl, you know?

Carlton:Absolutely. Most of the arcades are losing money.

Will:We gonna set up lunch with her and Tevin Campbell. Midway through, she gonna stand up, take a drink and splash it in his face. Right? Then she slap him, call him a punk... Then we plant a story that Tevin been sleeping outside her crib with a rifle.

Will:Then you can be there for him.

Will:That went great.

Will:I was with Tisha last night. I can't walk that fast.

Will:Who the hell are all these people?

Jerry:I'm just the man behind the man.

Jerry:Tito, Jermaine. Your pick.

Carlton:This is better than television.

Carlton:Oh, great. Now we'll never know how Will took the news.

Will:All this money for rent and I still got roaches.

Will:Point? I have no...

Uncle Phil:Well, gee, I could have sworn that Vivian and I had something to do with it.

Will:Home? I have no home.

Mr. Weisman:I got the worst luck with tenants.

Aunt Viv:It's so hard to smack you upside your head when you're not here.

Will:Gee, she hides it so well.

Geoffrey:Perhaps later on we could pour some water on her and watch her melt.

Will:Don't just stand there, Ashley. Call him a good boy and toss him a treat.

Will:Oh, really? So thanks. What the hell is my problem?

Hilary:Right, just like you launched Ashley's career?

Ashley:So young, so bitter.

Will:Somebody need to snatch her big helium head down out the stratosphere.

Ashley:I would have been happy paying you a token salary while someone else did the real work.

Ashley:And, face it, you're small potatoes.

Will:I'll show you how small my potatoes are.

Will:The resemblance, much like the beat, goes on.

Will:Come on, Bashley.

Carlton:All I got was a promise she wouldn't press charges.

Carlton:Just ask Kim Basinger.

Kid · Will:Man, that song is weak. / Last week.

Jerry:The kids got sick of her.

Ashley · Will:How much is 15 percent of nothing? / It's... Okay, 15. Hold up, 15, carry the zero. Fifteen... / Nothing, you math whiz.

Ashley:Well, it's nice to know my family was rooting for me to fail.

Will:Or if not, we can use it to prop up an unlevel table. You know, so it don't wobble.

Will:No, cold-and-flu season.