The Client

Will · NBC Executive:Hey, Smith. / Yo, man, what's up? Come here. / What's up? What does this contract say? - 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.' - That's right, not Philadelphia, Bel-Air. - Yeah, man, but, you know, my mama- - Get in the van.

Geoffrey:If you need me, I'll be hiding the silver.

Will · Jazz:I tried to get in touch. Where are you staying? On the street. At least until Jewel lets me back in the house.

Jazz:By the way, who's playing the mother this year?

Will · Vivian:It's the same mom. Who are you?

Jazz:Man, I'm going back on the street where things make sense.

Will · Phil:Hey, Uncle Phil, man, I gotta give you props for investing in this record store, man. That must've been a lot of money. How much are we really worth? We? [LAUGHING] 'We.'

Vivian · Phil:It's your opening, I want to look beautiful. Well, Vivian, I don't have that kind of time.

Hilary · Carlton:Am I antagonizing like Geraldo? Am I investigative like Donahue? Maybe you should go bald like Montel.

Will:Just G, but we don't take him nowhere anyway.

Uncle Phil:Uncle Phil chuckles when Will suggests managing the record store

Will:Will suggests adding 'X-rated skin flicks' to make money 'hand over fist'

Hilary:[YELLING] I mean, Mother, you watch my show, am I too soft-spoken?

Phil:Why, son, when I was your age and I was working on that farm... boy, I had to work from 9 in the night to 9 forever. I just worked and...

Ashley · Carlton:Ashley's song interrupts Carlton's rambling story

Will:Will's 'Ching-ching!' reaction to hearing Ashley sing

Will:You'd be surprised what a little creativity in the studio can do. Ask Janet Jackson.

Carlton:Well, you're certainly losing that battle.

Phil:Now, we better start our walk, Vivian. Baskin-Robbins closes at 6.

Uncle Phil:Uncle Phil says they need to walk to Baskin-Robbins because it 'closes at 6'

Will:We ask his permission, he says no, we do it anyway.

Will · Receptionist:You know me, the pool party at Q's crib. I'm sorry. Q doesn't have a pool.

Will · Receptionist:You feisty, huh? What, are you Creole? That's it.

Will · Receptionist:Speaker for Mr. Berry. We didn't order any speakers. It's a gift from Sony Music... from Mr. Sock-It-To-Me.

Will:Will pretends to deliver speakers from 'Mr. Sock-It-To-Me' at Sony Music

Will:Hey, listen, I am the one that is responsible... for getting Ashford and Simpson back together. I deserve a damn Image Award. Quincy? Oh, come on, man, he gets one every year. The cheapskate, he won't even buy a pool.

Will:Will says Quincy Jones won't buy a pool because he's a 'cheapskate'

Gordy Berry · Will:[Long phone conversation with lots of 'uh-huhs' and agreements while Will sneaks around]

Will:Hey, did you know James Brown got an orthopedic cape?

Will:But you know what? You better get a good look at this face and remember it... because when Ashley Banks' album goes double platinum... you're gonna be seeing it in your dreams and in your nightmares... because you ain't the only game in town.

Will:Oh, and p.s... the Jheri curl played out with the jerk.

Johnny C:This is the music business. You need the universal lubricant. I'm talking cash, man.

Will:Brother, I was just cleaning the executive suite up on the 24th floor. They're talking about getting rid of you. Yeah, say you're slipping. One of them said your mom have a limp.

Will:Will does multiple fake caller voices requesting Ashley's song, including threats to 'blow up your car'

Will:[IN HIGH VOICE] How are you doing? This is Rafica calling from Watts. Ho! Could you play that record by Ashley Banks called 'Make Up Your Mind'? I'm with this man who can't make up his mind.

Will:[IN FOREIGN ACCENT] My name is Tony. And I'd like to hear that record by Ashley Banks called 'Make Up Your Mind'... before I have to come down there and blow up your car.

Will:Will tricks someone by saying 'There's nobody up there' then 'Made you look'

Carlton:Get it? Feather, peacock. [CARLTON LAUGHS]

Will · Carlton:Damn, she must have stage fright. Carlton, help me. Sorry, folks, wawhhh, a little technical difficulty.

Will:He got a wooden plate, found out he got termites.

Will:That ain't help nothing, did it?

Phil · Vivian:Don't you give me that look. Vivian, she's giving me that look.

Will · Carlton · Phil:Shadow? Uncle Phil, with you, it'd be more like an eclipse, wouldn't it? [BOTH LAUGHING] Eclipse. Eclipse.

Phil:You know, just for that crack, I'm gonna make myself co-manager. One fat joke too many. I knew it, I could feel it.