Homeboy Sweet Homeboy

Geoffrey:quiet as a church mouse. Hasn't spoken a word for hours. What a shame.

Uncle Phil:Poor homesick baby. I have an idea. If Will is that homesick, let's send him home.

Aunt Viv:Which is why you only ate five of them?

Geoffrey:It's a sandwich composed of cheese, steak, and a croissant de boulanger from the Café Antoinette in Beverly Hills.

Will:See, look at the bag. No grease stain. If this were authentic, you could see right through the bag by now.

Geoffrey · Ashley:I'm sorry you don't like it. I'll dispose of it later. - I'll throw it out. - I'll dispose of it, Ashley.

Will:We used to steal... I mean, we would enjoy them there often.

Will:Ice Tray grabbed onto the back of a bus and it was so cold, his face got stuck. And he was dragged around the city. He couldn't get off till he hit a bump on the Ben Franklin Bridge.

Uncle Phil:That's a story we can all relate to.

Ashley · Uncle Phil:Word up. This is gonna be cold stupid on the serious tip. What did you say, young lady? I said that this is quite an exceptional idea, Daddy. Peachy-keen, even. Later, my man.

Uncle Phil · Will:Wonderful. First Will, now Ashley. I can't wait till Ice Box gets here. No, it's Ice Tray, Uncle Phil. Ice Tray. I apologize. Ice Box would be an idiotic name.

Hilary · Uncle Phil:Dad, I need $200. I'll take him to Hilaryland.

Hilary:You know, it's like communications. It's, like, the study of communicating, okay?

Uncle Phil:That's okay, Vivian. Let's see where this goes.

Geoffrey · Ice Tray:Well, no. You still got it, man.

Will:This is my bodyguard, Geoffrey. All of this is my Uncle Phil.

Will:Remember we used to say that Daffy Duck must have a little brother somewhere? Meet my cousin Carlton.

Carlton:Can't touch this.

Ice Tray · Will:Yo, man, what's with him? It's a tan.

Ashley · Ice Tray:Three times? See, my motto is, when I find a grade I like, I stick with it.

Carlton · Ice Tray:Education is the mortar that builds the temple of success. That's what I personally think. Like who cares?

Ice Tray · Will:And O-Money got his hair cut to look like the Chrysler Building. That's good, though, man. That Mount Rushmore thing was not working.

Ice Tray:Too easy.

Ice Tray:See, my motto is... Lord, if there's anything like work around my heart, please remove it.

Ice Tray:I smell something greasy. Too easy.

Ice Tray:Prince said y'all was loaded, and when in Rome, do as. $100? I got a cash flow problem. You see, my Korean Gucci bags, they just ain't been moving lately.

Aunt Viv · Carlton:When you really look at it, how different is Ice Tray from Carlton? With all due respect, Mom, I think he's a little fonder of the 10th grade than I.

Ice Tray:She was so ugly, she was oogly. She was so ugly, Freddy Krueger had nightmares about her.

Ice Tray:That girl was so dumb, it took her an hour to cook Minute Rice.

Will:She was so skinny, you could tie a rope around her head and use her like a tetherball pole.

Will:Stacy was so dumb that she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif.

Ice Tray:You know people are rich when they got all this stuff they got no use for.

Ice Tray:Really? 'From the library of Master William Smith.' Who's tired now, homey?

Will:That was cool, till them guys jumped me, trying to steal my pizza. Yo, they was upset.

Aunt Viv:I'll give you a transcript, Philip. Tray: 'Hi.' Hilary: 'Hi.'

Uncle Phil:Hair? I thought it was a hat.

Hilary:Don't worry, Mrs. Banks. No one will ever see it.

Will:Seriously. If somebody's chasing him, he can jack a fence like that. But if somebody catch him, it don't matter. The boy got a crazy rabbit punch, like you don't even see it coming. You out of there.

Aunt Viv · Hilary:What job could he have in the law firm? I don't know. Lawyer?

Uncle Phil:That shouldn't matter to you, Vivian. You're the one who invited Ashtray. In fact, why don't we invite some more of Will's friends out? Let's just put a big neon sign out in front of the house that says 'Homeboy Hotel.'

Uncle Phil:I have the perfect solution for dealing with Mr. Ice Pick. My street savvy should not be taken lightly.

Hilary · Uncle Phil · Carlton:Dad, has Mom been drinking? Nonsense, Carlton. She's just being polite to our lovely houseguest. Have you been drinking?

Geoffrey:Not to me. Of course, I'm sober.

Ice Tray:I don't eat nothing that leaves a trail.

Uncle Phil:I can just see Hilary and Tray in their tiny little love nest in Philadelphia with the pitter-patter of five little Ice Cubes.

Uncle Phil:while her loving husband is working his night job on the corner as a Korean Gucci bag representative.

Ice Tray:I guess I'll be driving home tonight.

Ice Tray · Uncle Phil:That's good, because Hilary and I got married this afternoon. Hilary, no! How could you do this to us? How could you be so stupid?

Hilary:Mom, take it down 1,000.

Geoffrey:Shall I call for a car, sir, or just shoot him out of a cannon?

Geoffrey:I mean cab, madam.

Geoffrey:I shall load Mr. Tray's belongings into the cannon. I mean cab, madam.

Uncle Phil:I'd recover, Will.

Ice Tray · Will:That's our china dog. Yeah. I figured y'all were so nice to me and everything that I don't need it. That was a joke.

Hilary:Coach?