For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll

Will:I got to marry Lisa more often.

Carlton:Well, ho, ho, ho.

Will · Carlton:What do you think was in that one? Something that has to be returned.

Will:My favorite wedding guest. Ben Franklin. Oh, excuse me, Ben. Allow me to show you to your seat.

Will:Oh, rent a room.

Lisa:I don't know. Can he take a punch? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. No, seriously, can he?

Will:Get off of me, woman!

Will:He'd say, you ain't fooling nobody.

Will:Oh, man, I know how you feel. Lisa do that to me all the time. Man, just last night, we...

Will:Oh, I'm just practicing for the honeymoon night. Yo, bellhop! If the room be bopping, don't you be knocking.

Will:You! You! Hey, hey. Chunky butt, meet battleaxe. Battleaxe, chunky butt.

Will:Oh, yeah. You look like a chocolate-flavored Pepto-Bismol.

Ashley:No problem. To put over my head.

Will:Okay. Come on, Ike and Tina, let's go.

Vy:Okay, tubby, tuck in your gut, we're going downtown.

Will:In Philly, 'tubby' mean cute bald man.

Fred:Just don't be late. You might find her face-down in the crab cake.

Fred:I don't know what he's complaining about. I like my women scrappy.

Geoffrey:I didn't say it was a good plan.

Will:Oh, man. You took your gold tooth out. What's the occasion?

Jazz:The wife and I are split up. Inconsolable differences.

Jazz:And so did the weave.

Will · Jazz:Hortense? Jazz, I thought her name was Jewel. Just one of her many lies.

Will:She had sex with all of them? She did? Man, it just gets worse and worse.

Will · Lisa:What the hell is that? Hi. See? I knew she was gonna say that.

Lisa:Or one of them's dead and one of them's a fugitive.

Will:At least she ain't got no weave.

Lisa:Baby, I hate sweet potato pie.

Lisa:But personally, I think the guy's a lowlife slug whose whole sexual identity is an extension of his big, stupid gun.

Lisa · Will:I think he's gay. Ah!

Will · Lisa:Your name is Lisa, isn't it? Well, it is now. I just couldn't go through life hearing people say, 'Hey, Beula.'

Will:Bye, Beula.

Will:[SCREAMING]

Vy · Will:Will. [WILL SCREAMING] You, him, here. I need a moment.

Will:Mamma, no!

Carlton:What's this, a pajama party? Hey, scooch over.

Will:Oh, my God, I just got a mental picture! Get out! Get out!

Fred:Oh, I know where they are, baby, You left them on top of my... Maya Angelou's book of poetry. Come on, I'll show you where they are.

Phil:I said I was listening. But I got a million things to do, so hurry.

Will:Remember when you said we was too young to get married? When I told you mind your business, I know what I'm doing? You remember how wrong I always am?

Phil:Go in there, say I do, be done with it. Feel better? Well... Good. Okay. Posse out, let's go.

Nicky · Will:Tell me about it. I've got to balance a ring on a stupid pillow. Hey, you wanna talk about it? No.

Hilary:Oh, Lisa. This dress looks almost as beautiful on you as it would on me.

Hilary:Well, make it fast. If I start to frizz, you're a dead man.

Will · Lisa:Hey, hey, girl! This ain't no time to be getting freaky. Will, I was trying to hold your hand. Oh, yeah? Well, that wasn't it.

Carlton:You know, as hard as this is to believe, I'm gonna miss you.

Will:Yes, I... Whoo! ...do. But I don't.

Will:Hey, looks like we finally agree on something.

Will:Hey, looks like we finally agree on something.

Will:Well, save it for that 50 pounds of shrimp swimming around on that damn ice swan.

Fred:We met at 10,000 feet in the air. And I promise you, baby, if you marry me, neither of us will ever come down.

Will:No. No, Mom, no. Absolutely not. You said that me and Lisa were rushing too fast. Y'all gotta take some time to think about this.

Vy:Boy, I ain't got that much time. I'm getting old. Now move.

Will:Rap on, Rev.

Unknown:I cannot believe he is back on the market. I mean, you know, I'm sorry for the girl, but who cares? He is so fine.

Wedding guest:I cannot believe he is back on the market. I mean, you know, I'm sorry for the girl, but who cares? He is so fine.

Will:Wait, wait... No. No. Wait a... Wait a minute. Wait a minute, now. This is... This is all just too soon. Now, September, that's a different story. Y'all come back, now, you hear?