Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1

Will:Have mercy.

Carlton · Will:Asking out magazines, Will? / I don't know. Even paper products have some standards.

Will:What's that, Jody? No, that's as tall as he'll ever be.

Hilary:Couldn't you wear a very tailored clown suit or something?

Will:Go on, Uncle Phil. You just throw a hairpiece on and come as Mr. T.

Hilary:I have some bad news for both of you. You're not invited.

Vivian · Will · Carlton:Everyone in the family is invited. Besides, I'm sure Carlton and Will have dates. / Yeah, of course. / Oodles.

Philip:I guess all things are possible.

Hilary:I need to get my costume and the mall closes in eight hours.

Vivian · Philip:Won't this be fun? / No.

Carlton:Like you do? Who are you taking, Page 42?

Will:It's the law of nature. It's called the survival of the handsomest.

Carlton:Girls surround me in the parking lot and rip the doors off my car.

Will:You better buy the mask first.

Will:Carlton, this is gonna be about as much of a contest as Mike Tyson versus Fred Savage.

Will:What's up, Cindy? I'm Will and this is Carlton, my geek.

Will:Y'all got any ribs?

Will:She has to be a human being. I saw you looking in the pet store.

Hilary · Ashley · Hilary:There. You're Charlie Chaplin. / Who is Charlie Chaplin? / He was a silent movie star. / So take a hint.

Hilary:At least five. I'm going as a runway model.

Uncle Phil:My wife's nephew. The first week he moved in with us... there was nonstop drumming in the house.

Vivian · Will:You took her to a pawnshop? / Yeah, it was really hard, too. You don't have many pawnshops in Bel-Air. That's really a shame.

Will · Vivian:I had to go all the way to East LA. / East LA?

Ashley · Philip · Ashley · Philip · Ashley:Daddy, it's a diamond. / No, it isn't. / You don't like it? / No, I do not. / Can I have it?

Will:A girlie that can play the drums can write her own ticket.

Philip:I used to stand out in the parking lot of the Philharmonic... hoping to catch a spare note on the night air.

Will · Vivian · Will:He liked James Brown? / He even wore his hair like him. / He had hair?

Geoffrey:Master William, there is a young gentleman downstairs... with a rather large radio who is here to see you. He claims his name is Jazz.

Jazz:You got that right. Man, you're loaded!

Woman · Carlton:I can't remember the name, but I think there's some produce in it. / Banana Republic.

Carlton · Woman · Carlton:You have a beautiful speaking voice. You're probably a dynamite singer. / Well, I'm okay. / You want to record your own song? $8.95.

Carlton · Saleswoman:Do I look like the kind of man who would quibble about a few dollars? / That's very nice... because most of my customers would be shocked at a pen that costs $300.

Will:Word? Yo, baby, peep this.

Hilary:It is so important to have friends in retail. I've tried to explain that to my little sister.

Will:Earth, Wind & Fire. When's your next album coming out?

Will:Really? How much do you think we could get for that stereo?

Ashley:Hey, there, Lord / My name is Ashley Banks / My family and friends / Want to give you some thanks / So before this dinner's / All swallowed and chewed / Thank you, God, for this stupid food

Electronic device:Only three pencils remain. Proceed to stationery store immediately.

Will:Beat it, see you, scram, sayonara, peace out. And so long, screwy.

Will:While Carlton snaps at every opportunity to take a cheap shot... I'm the kindest, gentlest soul you'll ever want to meet.

Will:You can level with me. Uncle Phil's adopted, right?

Granny:Won it four years running. They had to retire his slop bucket.

Carlton · Will:What do you say to an Oreo? / I say, 'What's up, Carlton?'

Carlton · Will:I won't be admitted to the bar. / Neither will I. The cops took my fake ID.

Will:Baby, that's man food.

Carlton:Banks. Carlton Banks.

Will:And he said ever since he was the Emperor of China.

Will:And he said ever since he was the Emperor of China.

Will · Geoffrey:Tell Michael I'll have to work on his dance steps later. / That's Bo Jackson.

Heavy D:I think that's pronounced diddley, diddley.

Kadeem Hardison:threw a 72-yard touchdown pass to himself... in street clothes.

Melinda:What time should I be there, Carlton?

Hilary:Derbies went out six months ago.

Will:Looks like it's been on the floor.

Geoffrey:'How desperate do you think I am?' 'Not on your life.' And, 'Ha ha ha ha ha... ha.'

Hilary:I don't know exactly, but it's fair to guess that 'stunning' was part of it.

Hilary:I don't know exactly, but it's fair to guess that 'stunning' was part of it.

Electronic device:Only three pencils remain. Proceed to stationery store immediately.

Will:Scary.

Will:Janet Girlie.

Hilary:Well, your super fly's open.

Philip:He has superhuman bill-paying powers... so he gets to dress however he likes.

Cindy:I guess I'm a sucker for a sad puppy.

Eugene · Various guests · Carlton:This girl's a kleptomaniac. / My silverware. / That's my watch. / My date.

Cindy:Maybe I should try some of those insole thingies.

Will:If you found out the only person in the world that would go out with you... was mentally deranged, you'd go to bed early, too.

Trick-or-treaters:We were watching Matlock.

Will:This monster's called the Bel-Air Beast... and, oh, my goodness, there he is!