Eye Tooth

Vivian:I met him after Princeton.

Carlton:Well, it's not mine. My Barbie's at home fast asleep in her Barbie Dream House.

Uncle Phil:Um... It doesn't matter whose it is. Let me see this trumpet.

Will:Uh... Uh... Uh... Billy. Billy who? Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Billy Butterworth.

Carlton:Actor, director, novelist, bon vivant William Shatner?

Carlton:You slept in the same pool house with me knowing this... knowing what it would mean to me, and you didn't say a word? I don't even know who you are.

Carlton:Hello? I wasn't finished.

Will · Hilary:Okay. What do you mean 'okay?' ... Okay. What...?

Carlton:Oh, don't tell me someone withheld information from somebody.

Hilary · Ashley:Ashley, you've never been this happy for me. I still haven't been. This is about me.

Geoffrey:Perhaps that iron fist that you rule with has gotten a bit rusty, sir.

Uncle Phil:Perhaps I should hit something.

Geoffrey:Be careful of misguided anger, sir.

Hilary:Okay.

Dick West · William Shatner:Thought beaming down would be too flashy, huh? Good one, Dick.

William Shatner:What is it about these suits that they feel they have to make some lame Star Trek joke when they start off?

Carlton · William Shatner:I guess you thought beaming down would be too flashy, huh? Get it, huh? That's a good one, Dick. Well, actually, his name is Carlton. Who cares?

William Shatner · Will · Shatner:That's a good one, Dick. / Well, actually, his name is Carlton. / Who cares?

Carlton:How about that Heather Locklear? Hubba, hubba.

William Shatner:Yeah, get away from this guy.

Hilary:Warm? It doesn't get that cold in California.

Vivian:I remember my first visit to New... Mexico. Ah. New Mexico. Heh. Nothing like taking a bite of the Big Ap... Tostada.

Uncle Phil:You are not going to New York. Vivian. Vi... She's not going to New York. You are not going to New York. Did you hear...? I'm your fath... You're not going to New York.

Uncle Phil:She's not going to New York.

William Shatner:Most people are intimidated by me. They let me win.

Carlton:Very funny, Will, giving me the wrong address.

Carlton:All right, I won't talk. I promise. And? And if I feel myself getting overexcited, I take a time out.

Carlton:Oh, I don't need a time out. I don't need a time out. I'm sorry, Will, I can't help it.

Carlton:Just make it out to, 'Carlton, my best friend on Earth, bar none.'

William Shatner:I can't. I have this arrangement with the people who do the Star Trek conventions. I have to charge you $50.

William Shatner:Try and cash it at the bar. And while you're there, get me a drink.

Will:Carlton? No, no, no. Not him. I mean, he cute but I ain't never really...

Will:Better watch it. Hilary be taking aerobics and stuff like that. It might hurt you.

William Shatner:I've been canceled a time or two myself. Always led to something better.

William Shatner:We move in different circles.

Carlton:How could he like you more than me? You haven't even read any of his books.

William Shatner:You broke my damn tooth.

Carlton · William Shatner:Don't worry, Jim. We'll get you there warp speed. Get a life.

William Shatner:I can take it out on anyone I want. I'm William Shatner.

Carlton:Did you sense the power in that man?

Will:Shut up.

Will:Carlton, he all hyped up on that goofy gas. Man, turn that thing off.

Carlton · Will:'Hangding.' Carlton, he ain't snapping out of it, man.

Carlton · William Shatner:Hey, Bill, look. I'm Timmy the Tooth. Hi, Timmy. Wait, wait, wait. I wanna be Timmy. Let me be Timmy.

Will:Hey, you Timmy the tooth. I'm Bubba Gump.

Will:Hey, wait. Wait. Wait a second. Hey, Carlton, look. Uncle Phil's toothbrush.

William Shatner:Spock, is that you? Your ears are the same but something's different.

William Shatner:Scotty, you're black.

Will:Damn it, Jim. I'm a black boy from Philly, not a doctor.

William Shatner:Throw your hands in the air if you's a true player

William Shatner:This guy kills me. He's killing me.

William Shatner:Hey, Werner, I just wanna say... I love you, man.

William Shatner:Sulu, where you been? And why are you out of uniform?

William Shatner:Absolutely. I'll see you in court.

William Shatner:Everybody, rumba.

William Shatner:That's right, boy. You better recognize. ... No, no. You better not had meant, I know you ain't mean. Smarten up, Opie.

William Shatner:I may be in an altered state right now but when those cameras are on me... and those lights hit me, I'll be 100 percent dope.

William Shatner:Girl, you a bad mamma jamma.

Hilary:I know.

William Shatner:Don't let your mouth write a check your pool stick can't cash.

William Shatner · Will:You never beat me at pool. / Oh, Bill, Bill, Bill. I see you still got your buzz on a little bit, huh?

Will:And captain... live long and prosper.

Carlton:Hey, what about my autograph?

Carlton:Hey, what about my autograph?

Uncle Phil · Ashley · Vivian:I've decided... Are you ready for this? ... to let you move to New York. But, Daddy... Honey, honey, let him have this one.

Hilary:Okay.

Will:Adversification, but...

Will · Uncle Phil · Will:I lost my job, you lost your daughter. / Two daughters. / Two of them. Deuce. Deuce.

Will · Uncle Phil:I lost my job, you lost your daughter. Two daughters. Two of them. Deuce. Deuce.

Uncle Phil:Will you hold me?