I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams

Will:See, now that's exactly why people be pushing you down the steps.

Will · Carlton:Like you care. / You see, now that's where you're wrong, my little pet peeve.

Will:Oh, yes, sir, he came out to bet $500 on the game.

Carlton · Will:Who would do such a thing? / Guess we can rule out Notre Dame.

Will:So, what's it gonna be, regular or grape-flavored Gatorade?

Carlton · Will:None of those guys will leave the locker room...before they rub me for luck. / Sure they not just rubbing you for fun, baby?

Jazz:It pays to have friends at the urology lab.

Jazz:Now, why would I steal something I can't sell?

Will:Well, the Jazz I know didn't need a reason to do something stupid.

Hilary:Daddy, there's a man under my bed and I didn't tell him to hide there.

Hilary:How are they going to fence all that crushed velvet?

Vivian · Carlton:Won't we be in the way? / Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go check my head for molt.

Philip · Security Guard:God, where was this? / 'Mortal Kombat' by Sega.

Will:So I put on this real sincere face...before I knew it I had this cop convinced I was Sidney Poitier's son.

Will · Carlton:Who? / Hello? / Percival, our beloved peacock.

Carlton · Will:Hand me my head. / I'd love to.

Hilary:Can't he be like other dogs and quietly lick himself?

Philip · Vivian:Strudel, schnitzel... / Mercedes.

Will:He's a quick little sucker, isn't he?

Will:I think my Aunt Helen dropped him on his head when he was a baby.

Will:Carlton wouldn't miss that game for all the cheese in Philly.

Will:It could be worse. I mean, he could have been dipped in 11 herbs and spices.

Will:I mean, he could have been dipped in 11 herbs and spices.

Will:He's not exactly Vince Lombardi.

Will:What's that lumpy thing on the back of your neck?

Will:I guess it's just like the American flu, just colder.

Jazz:Just ask Flat Nose Gary.

Will:And if they don't have it here, you gonna get it there.

Will:Well, I got me a little rumpus in that room the other night, you know.

Jazz:Restraining order. It's a long story.

Security Guard:Only if he hasn't eaten.

Philip:My God! Somebody stole my Mercedes.

Amanda:But you're awfully cute when you grasp at false hope.

Amanda · Carlton:Dweeb? / Well, I was going to say loner, but that too.

Amanda:Well, I'm late for the game. Bye.

Will:I think you're taking this jail thing just a little too far, buddy.

Will:Gets a little funky in there too, huh?

Will:You big bunch of babies.

Will:Their nose.

Will:Let's be honest, we don't even know if half you all are gonna graduate.

Coach:That's right, you guys, it doesn't matter what we do, we're losers.

Carlton:I escaped while the housekeeper was changing the newspaper.

Will:and you strut like you've never strat.

Carlton:What, powerful hind legs with a colorful tail?

Will:He's a quick little sucker, isn't he?