The Alliance

Assistant to the regional manager Dwight.

I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump is that I get no pleasure out of saying the words 'you're fired'

I bring my own water to work.

Actually we don't have any staff birthdays coming up.

Spok, is there any signs of life down there? Well, let me check captain. No captain no signs of life down there. Just a wet blanket, named Pam.

I think green is kind of whorish.

Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.

These are my party planning biatches

Did you get your tickets? To what? The gun show.

Then here he comes and he says 'no, Jim, here's a way'.

I know that it involves spying on people and we may build a fort, Pam.

Meredith I heard you're turning forty-six but come on... You're an accountant, just fudge the numbers

They seem awfully chummy. Don't you think?

I love their sandwich too. Their bread is very good.

all convalescences into... Moral.

Jackpot. That was beautiful. All her idea, too. Awesome. She's so great.

That's when they remove the uterus. Ho, God! Dwight no!

I'm a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer. They have very good vision. One thing about me... I'm better at hiding than they are at vision.

I can breathe just fine, ok? But if it makes you feel better, I'll poke holes in the box.

Can I trust Jim? I don't know. Do I have a choice? No. Frankly I don't. Will I trust Jim? Yes. Should I trust Jim? You tell me.

You know what if I were allergic to dairy I think I'd kill myself.

He's in a box? Pam, he's in a BOX.

Money isn't everything Jim. Not the key to happiness. You know what is? Joy.

Son of a bitch! That is impressive, good for him.

Meredith, good news! You're not actually a year older, Because you work here, where time stand still.

Meredith. Let's hope that the only downsizing that happens to you... Is that someone downsizes your age.

Meredith, Liz Taylor called, she wants her age back and her divorces back

She went into an antique store and they kept her.

Well, I don't know that was anonymous. Guess what? That was Michael Scott. But it was anonymous, how do you know? Because I met him.

I told him that he should die his hair, to go undercover.

What, are you trying to cop a feel or something Halpert?

I have absolutely no idea.

That's politics baby, get what you can out of someone, Then crush them. I think Jim might have learned a very valuable lesson.