Back From Vacation

Tape recorder. For what? For recording.

Let the record show that Dwight K. Schrute is now completely nude and is holding a plastic knife to Stanley's neck

Let the record show that Jim Halpert is a liar!

Dwight Schrute is now wearing a baby's bonnet... Jim Carrey just walked in

That is Animal from the Muppet Babies. You can't see my stomach...

Hey, mon!

At Sandals, Jamaica, when somebody says, 'Hey, mon,' everybody says, 'Hey, mon,' back.

You are not as much fun as your Jamaican brothers, mon.

He said it would be like we were living together in different houses, two blocks away.

Feelin' hot, hot, hot!

Why do you think so many businesses move to the Caymans?

The Jamaicans don't have a word for 'impossible'. Yep, it's English. It's 'impossible'.

All you need are some grass skirts, pineapple, poi, tiki torches, suckling pig, some fire dancers. That's all you need.

No, that's a German woman named Urgle Grue.

Sex. Sex. We had sex. I had sex with her. I had sex with Jan.

They wouldn't give you a subscription to Maxim.

I sent it to you at packer@dundermifflin.com... Packaging@dundermifflin.com... Uh-oh.

How do I get you out of this picture?

Call me if she rolls over.

The filename is Jamaica Jan Sun Princess.

Unless you're willing to tell me everything, I cannot accept this assignment. Okay, then forget it. Okay, I accept it.

Just yesterday, I untangled a piece of tape from her hair.

How have we not talked about this already? I mean, what happened there? Kidnapping?

Well, this is probably the icebreaker you need.

Did you try the petting zoo?

I've ran out of gas. I hit a deer. I hit... I hit a deer with my car. No. I hit a cat. Tell her I hit a cat.

Hit that corporate booty. Nice to hit it!

Apparently, there is an e-mail circulating around that contains a very PG-13 rated picture of me and a woman. Jan. No, Kevin, a woman. Maybe Jan, maybe... Urgle Grue.

The Days Inn Room 228 was staring to get really depressing.

This is the greatest night of my life.

Who did this to you? Where is he?

So you're PMSing pretty bad, huh?

I was in Scottsdale, visiting my sister. Very sunny.

I am attracted to you. I don't... I don't know why, I... But I am

And I to you, in addition, feel the same feelings that you are, as well.

You complete me.

You remember when we were planning our honeymoon, and you wanted to go to Hawaii and I wanted to go to Mexico? I was definitely right.

I don't have a lot of art.