The Merger

Andy asking about Michael's 'favorite men's magazines'

Andy's sudden threat: 'Cross me and I will destroy you'

Dwight claiming he outran a black pepper snake and is 'somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther.'

Jim's talking head revealing the 'stopwatch' is actually a digital thermometer

Michael's ethnic speculation: 'Probably Italian. Possibly Filipina.'

Andy's advice to fire Anthony Gardner based on Japanese camp guard philosophy

Andy's follow-up confessional about being good at choosing who dies

Michael's instruction to set up food 'as if you were trying to impress a much older man who's way out of your league'

Michael's 'World's Best Dad' mug justification

Gift bags are 'just for guests' - existing employees can 'buy one later'

Tony's gift bag contains 'mostly pencils'

Michael asking Karen 'are you a robot or a Martian?' and 'Was your dad a GI?'

Andy's philosophy: 'Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake. I'm always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs.'

Andy and Michael's 'nifty gifties' exchange

Jim's fake introduction: 'I'm new here' followed by immediate acknowledgment of the obvious joke

Dwight's intimidation attempt with forehead staring

The awkward desk situation resolution

Andy vs Dwight title battle: 'Assistant Regional Manager' vs 'Regional Director in Charge of Sales'

Dwight's movie expertise: 'I've seen over 240 of them'

Kelly's celebrity baby information dump

Michael's food restrictions: 'for you, consider it cow meat... poisoned beef'

Michael's 'bore-ientation' pun dismissing Toby's materials

Michael's orientation video - 'Lazy Scranton' rap

Jim's callback to 'The Scranton Witch Project'

Michael's self-assessment: 'A-plus-plus' for his video

Dwight coaching Karen's voicemail message to be 'more Italian'

Andy's manipulation strategy talking head

Andy's screensaver compliment to Angela

Jim's evolution from grape soda to bottled water

Angela's breast on Andy's computer screen

Phyllis's pine perfume from 'metropolitan Orlando' and Bob Vance introduction

Michael's 'Night at the Roxbury' reference and head bobbing performance

Michael's 'nose candy' comment making Karen itchy

Tony's inability to get on the table leading to his resignation

Michael firing Tony for quitting: 'That's heresy, my friend!'

Angela's Hooters restaurant defense

Michael's fake tire prank to unite the office

The fake hate note: 'You can never pull together as one and revenge us!'

Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration introduction pattern

Michael's lunch lady analogy for bringing people together

Karen's corkscrew lobotomy phone call

Andy vs Dwight car argument ending in coughing insults

Andy's 'Cor-Not University' insult

Andy's final confessional claiming victory in the argument