Prince Family Paper

Dwight obsessing over a random red wire, Jim dismissing it as normal computer parts

Dwight reveals he bought 500 feet of red wire at a flea market for $20

Michael: 'Fax? Why don't you just send it over on a dinosaur?'

Office debate about whether Hilary Swank is hot begins

The Hilary Swank vote ends in a 5-5 tie

Multiple people volunteering to seduce the fictional daughter of Prince Paper

Michael's alias is 'Michael Scarn'

Dwight vs Michael Denny's vs IHOP argument

Dwight's elaborate surveillance analysis of Prince Paper's storefront

Michael: 'There are clouds. Bad for business.' Dwight: 'Only if they were altocumulus, not cirrostratus.'

The 'danger signal' is licking lips, demonstrated awkwardly

Michael's talking head about the food chain ending with 'single-cell shark'

Michael to Vietnam vet: 'Vietnam. I hear it's lovely.'

Kevin: 'A painting can be beautiful, but I don't want to bang a painting.' Stanley: 'TMI.'

Michael demonstrates drinking from a cup like he's never seen one before

Michael: 'Laughter is my job. Tears are my game. Law is my profession.'

Dwight to Mr. Prince's son: 'Get rid of this guy. That's my son. I'm your son now, you can visit him on holidays.'

Jim's elaborate Kevin fantasy scenario about Hilary Swank

Kevin's extended silent reaction to the Hilary Swank scenario

Dwight badmouthing his boss (Michael) to Mr. Prince, not knowing Michael is listening

Michael asking Linda (the grandmother) to pose for a picture

Michael helping the kid with math, getting confused by exponents

Kevin: 'I kept expecting a plot twist where Hilary Swank was actually a boy'

Angela: 'Hot is a temperature, people' but then declares Hilary Swank hot

Angela: 'She's a female Boris Becker'

Dwight asking for a ride after claiming he took the bus

Michael and Dwight's excited celebration: 'We struck the mother lode!'

Michael and Dwight backing over something while fleeing

Karen: 'If you're saying Hilary Swank isn't hot, you're saying I'm not hot, because obviously I'm not as hot as Hilary Swank'

Mr. Prince fixing Michael's car for free after they damaged his property

We don't give Kevin full internet access

Oscar's scientific explanation using 'koinophilia' to prove Hilary Swank is not hot

Michael calling the coffee 'disgusting' instant coffee after accepting their hospitality

Michael: 'Good-bye Prince family. Should be called the Sucker family.'

Michael's extended shark metaphor about helping their victims

Dwight: 'Wallace would use that information to destroy them' delivered matter-of-factly

Dwight's series of nature metaphors about animals devouring each other

Dwight: 'Save your heart for love and use your brain for business'

Stanley: 'I have less' (than 20-30 years) due to family history

Stanley's final verdict: 'She is... hot' with dramatic pause

Michael comparing business to Lord of the Rings: 'If Frodo hadn't destroyed the ring, goodness itself might have died'

Michael running away with the client list while Dwight chases him

Michael: 'Those people will be ruined!' Dwight: 'It's business! It's not personal!'

Michael: 'I'm not a shark'

Jim: 'That's the thing about debating. People just get entrenched in the view they had in the first place'

Michael: 'It is bitter because I slightly destroyed a wonderful little family'

Michael: 'That's why I hate bittersweet chocolate. Why not just sweet? Who are you helping?'

Michael sees Hilary Swank photo and immediately says 'Oh, she's hot' then 'Damn it!'