China

20 minutes a day, all feet, no hands and I'll have the pededexterity of a chimp and you'll be sitting there like an idiot.

Allow me to write you an apology letter. D-e-a... oops, space, 'a. Dear...'

thank you, hands. Nothing else in the universe can do what you do.

Well, 'a' for effort, right?

Du blueberry, por favor.

$8? (reaction to muffin price)

Owning a building is a war between the landlord and the tenant. Not a literal war, unfortunately.

And by green, I mean money.

China. China. (Michael's repetitive fixation)

Yeah, that's where they make stuff.

China is a sleeping dragon that is just beginning to stir.

China should be like eight.

You gotta stop texting me so much. But I wanted you to know that Michael and I are wearing the same tie today. It's insane.

B.T.B. Bring that Booty.

Oh, I'm sorry. Is that not good enough for your anus?

Don't get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.

'Which is you' is not a sentence.

Hey, Pam, Dwight's being questioned by the police in connection with a string of dognappings...

So much for keeping our secrets up high.

Where forks are irrelevant.

You never told us to close them.

An antacid that you only take once a week.

It's too big a pill to swallow.

What if we all get together and help each other and hire a new guy and then we all kill him but first we take out, like, a $100,000 life insurance policy?

Suck it, Oscar.

I will not work in a roach billboard.

Oh, my God, I've been playing zombie soccer for two hours?

Is the nail place Koreans or whites? Koreans. Good. And the dry cleaners? White? Good.

He really does fit that old stereotype of the smug gay Mexican.

You're one bad text away from gettin' blocked. Yes, but one good text away from a high five.

I wish for a million wishes. Yeah, no, I'm not a genie. Then see you later, building.

And 25 years from now, Cece will become world famous for stripping.

And my daughter, Cece, dances on your grave fully clothed.

What do you know about boobs? Michael, I have to tell you something. It's from rocky ii.

I'm Pam. Oh. No, you're not. I'm sorry, we have a colleague with the same name. You're not a liar too, are you?

I can't wait to do to Pam what I just did to Pam.

I lied about some aspects of the building. It's still on a bike path, though, right? There's no building. It doesn't exist.

I wasn't here. What? I wasn't here. It's a pretty common saying.

That as long as people like you and me don't stop talking... Nobody can stop the U.S.A.

if you dig long enough and hard enough in a conversation, you get to a friend.

they say the best vampires don't bleed their victims dry, but give them the strength so that they can bounce back only to be fed on again.

I was not motivated by compassion. I have no compassion. Make sure you got that. Not motivated by compassion.

Come to parking lot. Crazy pigeon action.

That's a text. Yeah, right? That's a new standard.