Training Day

And $.10 of every dollar is going into the party fund, so we can throw parties for ourselves.

It's cold, dwight! / Just shut the door. Let people come in the front. / It's good that it's cold. The signs will drive business inside. The warmth will lure people inside.

Schrutes are farmers by hobby, blacksmiths by trade

Through the art of the swap, I will walk out of here with the finest item here. I will trade you for the used candle.

I love her. I, uh, I actually don't know why I brought that, because it's kind of priceless. $10. Mmm, no. 200. 500. 20. 45. Get lost. Damn it.

In case? In case of what? Well, you know, in case... Maybe something changes. I don't have an 'in case.' No.

I am calling because I am going to have to fire your daughter holly, because she's such a terrible employee. I'm just kidding.

I would like to discuss my intentions with you, which are to ask her to marry me. And I was just hoping that you would give me your approval. And this isn't a joke.

Let me tell you about men like him. He comes over, and you're like, 'hey, baby, let me light a candle,' and you pull out this one. Half used. He's like, 'who else is she seeing? I better lock her down fast.'

When I was a kid, I was on dallas. Really? We missed our connecting flight, then we spent a week on hawaii.

Professor copperfield's miracle legumes? I was in jamaica, and I got lost. And it was getting dark this one night, and then out of nowhere, this guy comes with a cart, Dwight, he told me things about myself

So you want to sell me magic beans? Correction. Nice try. No, correction. Terrible try.

Your friend michael, yes. What's going on? Um, I think I know, Uh, is dad there? Hollis? Hi, dad. There was a program on tv about india.

Well, who do you have? I have your father. He's right here. I'll put him on. No, mom. Oh, which one's decaf?

Are you proposing? Maybe. Would you light it? Do the honors, please? Yeah, no problem.

Michael, you've had two ideas today... And one of them was great, and the other one was terrible. I am not in the mood for riddles, pam. This is terrible. No, this is romantic.

My mom makes the best pesto in the world. And I always tell her, 'mom, you should sell this. You'd make a fortune.' And she always says, 'no, it's just for family.' Well, finally, I was like, 'f*** it, I'll sell it.'

Pesto party? Really? Anyway, she makes, like, 100 bottles' worth. It's so good. And phyllis just had that 'mom' look I wanted.

You got this kosher certified? No, I meant like, 'it's cool.'

Ryan, you have such an interesting mind. So creative. All these new business ideas and artistic projects. Thank you. What you got there? Oh, it's just stanley's old photo album. I was thinking about throwing it in the garbage. I mean, why would I want some random black man's old photo album sitting on my bookshelf? I'm not james franco.

Things are going very well. I traded a thumbtack for meredith's junk, for kelly's crap, for phyllis's garbage, for oscar's trash, for stanley's crap, for ryan's junk, for creed's garbage, for a very cute squid that erin happened to have.

I'm really sorry. All right, just out of curiosity, They're legumes, dwight. And you're just gonna make fun of me, so why would i?

You called the meeting. I don't I did? Okay. Thank you all for coming. I would like to talk to you today about... Recycling.

I had a great idea until you ruined it. You want to know how to do it? Take her out to dinner, go down on one knee. If you are in costume, you did something wrong.

If at any point you find yourself tying a ring to a woodland creature, stop and look at yourself.

I'm gon' play me a little old blackmail card... Nice. And call a proxy meeting and take control of ewing oil once and for all. No, you can't do that.

And I'm gonna play this here 'share the wealth' card. Which entitles me to half of both of you all's money. No, this card is from the wrong game. This is from the game of life. It was in the box. Well played.

How do you know when it's time? I don't know if you ever know. And if you wait for the day when your parent comes to you and says, 'i can't take care of myself,' it's never gonna happen.

I have a box of bras under the table if you're interested. Let me see.

It hits the ground, the head pops off. This leads to me saying the line, 'i lost my head when I fell in love with you.' That's a guarantee. Easy enough to get a corpse.

A gas station? Well, it was when she was working in new york, That must have been a surprise, when, at the gas station, you proposed. No, it was really It was really sweet. It was raining and You didn't say that the weather was bad.

Get this. Kevin thought I was gonna sell my bowflex for $200, and I told him, 'dude, this was a prop in my movie.'

My dad isn't doing so well. Oh, okay. For how long? I don't know. And I want you to come with me. Now, I Okay. And I was thinking, you know, and that we're both ready... Michael scott, will you No, no. shh!

Uh... What? No, I am not going to be proposed to in the break room. That is not going to be our story.

Should have burned this place down when I had the chance.

And that is dallas. Nice. Not bad, right? I can't really tell. I know, right? What the Oh, my god. That It is, right? I mean, it's impossible.

All right, I'll take 'em. They're probably worthless. Probably. Leave the telescope.

I started with a thumbtack and ended up with a telescope. But in a way, the most valuable thing here wasn't the telescope at all. No. It was this packet of beans, because they're magic.

How'd we do? $13. That's great.

So this is one of my favorite places in the world. why? This is where toby announced It was the happiest day of my life... Until the day you came to replace him.

And this is where we first made love. Michael!

When I called you to tell you that I had herpes, and that I was still in love with you. And you said that it was over And thank goodness It was an ingrown hair. Yes.

This is where we coran our first meeting. Remember? Obesity awareness? Saved a lot of lives that day. That's where you first met michael klump. Oh, I sayI say I sit on you.

Holly, will you marry me? no. Marry me, holly. no. That guy's got more than he can handle as it is. Will you marry me? no. That marriage would be a sham.

It started with a broken

Holly flax... Marrying me will you be? Your wife becoming... Be will i.

Holly has to go back to colorado. I'm going with her. I'm leaving.