The Inner Circle

Just up here getting used to the altitude.

Thank you. Like a butler.

Wow, those do not taste like oysters. That's because they're not oysters. They're bull testicles! I cut them off fresh this morning!

Sick freak. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? I'm the sick freak? Yeah. After what you did, you expect to be buttled?

Where did you hear that? Obvious, XM radio?

Great idea. ...in order to feed the bears. Especially if you think that life would be better without legs!

You in tight pants, Michael, are a salami to a black bear. You're like a giant walking salami.

How about a pepperoni? Any kind of meat you can possibly name.

Was thinking I might glue a stapler on top or put a hole here and stick pens in it.

You know what, take my favorite truck, sure. You know what... It's your last couple of days. I'm gonna get out of your hair.

Dead man walking.

I've seen some horrible things. I own over 200 horror movies.

Hi, Tuna.

You guys are filming people when they go to the bathroom now?

What's wrong with cupcakes? Everything.

The dream team and Meredith.

Fudge it up.

Visual gag: Michael bought himself a 'World's Best Boss' mug

I still need something to drink out of, though.

I thought he knew about the baby I gave away.

You have to hand wash without water, wring dry gently, and use a hair dryer on cool.

Where's the rest of it? It's got no balls.

You know I'm the worst salesman here, right? But you're the best salesman on the inside.

You sold us all on Andy. A product that nobody wanted.

I used to be obese. Once you've conquered obesity, everything else is easy. Life literally moves in slow motion.

I'm not saying I'm Superman, but let me just put it this way, if I were shot in the head, I'm pretty sure everything would be fine. I almost welcome it.

Don't be a caricature, Kevin. Never be a caricature.

You will be thin. You won't drool over pizza like an animal anymore.

Michael, I'm pretty much okay with who I am now. Don't be. You should never settle for who you are.

Michael, I just lost Porter Hardware! I just... I lost them. Okay, you know what? Just do your best, buddy.

It looks like it was made by a two-year-old monkey on a farm.

He has the lowest opinion of me of anybody.

Was it just me, or did you think we were gonna have sex at some point? It was just you.

State senator.

Walk away, bitch.

Mountainton, I think.

It's not supposed to shred magazines, Kevin. I know. Did you break the shredder, Kevin? No.

I don't think my credits are gonna transfer.

I just figured out where I was supposed to go to vote.

Oh, you mean this? Yeah. Yes, my hero. I'll pay the rent.

Kelly? What? If I just went away right now, would that be the best gift that I could give you? Yes, please.

Please go away and stop using that weird, slow voice.

What do we want? Erotic. See? This is what happens. You can't let a street dog into the house.

I know these Ethiopians that run a cake shop. Good God. They make these cakes that are wild.

As a person who buys a lot of erotic cakes, it feels good to be represented on one.

I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.

You know, we don't really care about your opinion. You're just a tie-breaker.

Someday, you are going to tell our grandchildren about how their grandfather won you back in a women's room.

Well, no, he hates jams.

Here's a chapter called 'Gum.' With one sentence. 'Everybody likes the guy who offers them a stick of gum.'

Darryl said I could use the baler because I'm leaving. No.

Catch you on the flippety-flip.

Multiple repetitions of 'Catch you on the flippety-flip'

Is there an animal shelter on the way? Yeah. Awesome! Ani-ani-shelto.

I've only got enough cash to buy a sandwich or get drunk.

Staged dog rescue scene for client presentation

Maybe neither. I'm not attracted to Kevin.

The dictionary defines 'superlative' as 'of the highest kind, quality, or order, surpassing all else or others. Supreme.' If I wanted the dictionary definition, I'd buy a dictionary.

Lots more like that. Really repetitive.

2:45 behind the building, paintball.

I can say that he is no Michael Scott. I can't sit here and tell you that he's gonna be a success.

You ever play Russian roulette? Time to spin the chamber, Boris... By signing up for another year.

Whether you're scared of dying, or dying alone, or dying drunk in a ditch, don't be. It's going to be okay.

A little cover-up on your Adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

I could tell you that he has a steel plate in his head, or that he's crazy, but the truth is, I think he's just a terrible salesman.

Hi, everybody! It's Ping! And I'm here to say goodbye to all you wonderful people. I 'rove' you all.

T-shirt idea. 'Goodbyes stink.'

Best boss I ever had.

I actually don't understand deathbeds. I mean, who would buy that?

That's what she said.

Why did I just do that? This is not even that good. I don't even want it. I had cake for lunch.

No! Uh-oh. No!