The Sting

Can't beat a horse. A horse is a bike that pedals itself.

His ass was on that seat? All right!

I'm on Sheryl Crow's side in that whole thing, so I feel really weird right now.

I had those extra wheels on the back that support you.

Michael crashes into car while learning to ride bike

You never forget.

How do I look? Amazing. How do I look? Normal. Ugly.

It's weird if I come in slightly after.

He's not 'the' Steve Nash. He's... He's big, though. He's kind of like Scranton's Steve Nash.

No. No? Nothing? No, Mr. Jock Hipster.

Big, red mazel tov to the Libster.

It appears Dan's Sherpa survived to tell the tale... Oh, my God! What? Is Dan okay? No, he died.

Broccoli Rob extended quote about milk awareness song

You know, I forget about milk. This is a terrific reminder.

I was the artsy musical one. In Here Comes Treble, I had four solos, Broccoli Rob had three. Right?

Also, he slept with Pam. No, he didn't.

That's fizzling. I mean, someone has to start the fizzle.

You know I have a kid with you, right? Aah!

So anyway, she says, 'That is the biggest penis I have ever seen.' And I said, 'I know. That's why I brought you to the penis museum, where tickets are $1,000.'

You are busy! We're in a meeting! What? It's Jim, okay? Yes.

Yes. What'd he say? What did he say? The big gun thing. Stop.

You don't look reluctant, Michael. You look really eager. No, I don't have time for this. Are you kidding me?

Not to go all Sherlock Holmes on you, but I can tell by the reflection in your glasses that you're entering points into weightwatchers.com. If you don't enter them immediately, you forget.

How much? 60 bucks a session. That's crazy money. I'll take 40.

I could swear that guy was a male model.

It's like if Michael Phelps came out of retirement, jumped in the pool, belly-flopped and drowned.

Why don't you go outside and take a shot of insulin and have a nap, okay? Why do you always assume I have diabetes?

I could try to seduce him. Oh, my God!

Like the movie. I think you mean The Sting. Paul Newman, Robert Redford. They're bank robbers? Nope. Different movie. It's called The Stinger. The Sting.

Meredith Van Helsing? Van Helsing was a respected professor before he was a vampire killer. Okay. But what is he more famous for?

Hey! That's my mug. You know this isn't real TV, right? Yes.

Please, Mr. President... (falsetto song about little girl asking president to bring troops home)

People can't keep their true natures hidden for long, and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.

Yeah, he is that good-looking. Okay? He's very, very handsome.

Oh, my God! He's making her sell to him.

That's pandering. And it makes me think you think I'm stupid... It's kind of weird that a grown man is singing from the point of view of a little girl.

I don't think they usually skate to such bad songs.

I've never been a desk man. Always traveling on the road.

Manuel, cleano el window.

I run Google. Larry and Sergey brought me...

You smell like a Scorpio.

I'm going in! I'm going in! Michael! No, Michael, stop it!

Okay, so you set up this fake company, then you hired this homeless woman to impersonate an executive, to spy on me so that you could copy my sales technique.

There's no tricks, man. I'm just a good salesman. You wanna copy that? You can't copy that!

Do you want your life to be better or to be worse or to stay the same? Get out of my way.

He's like a better-looking Andy. Thanks, Kevin.

Do you want your life to be better or worse or stay the same? ALL: Stay the same.

Couldn't get Out of bed today, Wish the alarm clock Would go away

I got a closet full of mes

Oh, you know, funny, your wife and I went on a few dates.

She is one of the plain, hearty women of Scranton that make this city great.

This morning, Danny Cordray stole a sale from me. So what do I do? I go out and I steal Danny Cordray. The sale that mattered, I made. Boom.

Crap. I forgot about Packer.

Bullfrog in love song with ribbit sound effects