Last Day In Florida

Everyone stop what you're doing. I have terrible news. Dwight is no longer with us. What? He's gone, damn it! He's been promoted to VP of Sabre retail, and he's staying in Florida forever. So... He's alive. Yeah. That was him on the phone. He sounds wonderful.

Well, the way you said it made it sound like he was dead. How could I have been more clear? He had a massive stroke of good fortune and he is now in a better place.

Don't touch my treasure. Okay? You understand?

Which is obviously what he would want us to think, making it the perfect place to hide a treasure! Oh, God, I'm Wallace Shawn in The Princess Bride!

I think that Dwight wanted us to realize that this conversation among friends is the true treasure.

That's not Dwight. No.

It's a photo of all of us. Oh, that's so sweet.

A dart? Are you kidding me? Who would put a poison dart-- Well, I mean, I don't know that it's poison. I mean, I just have to imagine. God, I'm glad he's okay though.

Kinda sounds like he deserved it, opening another man's treasure and all.

All right! Well swung, my VIP VP.

We are a regular Archibald and his man George.

Trick! There's no such thing. It's not even a real English duo. Ahh! I just made you look like the Goat of Dover.

You think you're excited? You should feel my nipples. Boing!

Don't even care! This is the last time I'll ever see Dwight. It's a weird feeling. It's, um... What's the word? It's not bittersweet. It's, uh... Sweet. Yeah.

Would if I could and I can, so I will. Put me down for one box. Don't care what it is, dealer's choice. I'll put you down for shortbreads. Damn it!

Or... Chess club?

All I need is Kevin. Dude buys more cookies than everyone combined, and then some. When I first started selling cookies, he was a relatively thin man. Not a thin man, mind you. Relatively thin.

Really good cheese samples. I had, like, a hundred.

He's a wonderful swimmer. Shallow end, deep end. He does it all.

Oh, what kind of tea is this? Oh, I boiled some Gatorade.

♪ oh, the springtime thinks ♪ ♪ that it's the best ♪ ♪ fall time thinks that it's the best ♪ ♪ cold time has kind of a strut ♪ ♪ and Valentine's thinks that it's the best ♪ ♪ but gather round, peeps, I'll tell you the truth ♪ ♪ nothing beats the cookie season ♪ ♪ that's the truth ♪

Why don't we split the order? It's only fair. No, wait, no. I'm buying, I make the rules. I actually do want you to fight over me. I wanna be wined and dined and... sixty-nined.

Metaphorically sixty-nined. Ew! Perverts. No offense, Oscar.

Bye-bye. I win.

The Sabre store would work if we adopted the carnival model of leaving town once everyone's wise to us.

Robert! I'm gonna win! Ha ha, I'm the gentleman! Suck it!

Cathy, write that down and print it out. It's gonna make some really good toilet paper.

Hey, Halpert, anyone ever tell you you look like Wooly Willie? Silence. I'm just trying-- I know what you're trying to do. I don't want it. But your face does look like the guy from "Operation."

It's the same guy. - That's the joke I made. - Different guy.

That you look like the world's tallest hobbit.

Erin123. That's a terrible password. And you don't "make a video chat"-- You "video chat."

Oh! Now mine's broken. Hang on. Oh, there we go. Aghh!

He's like Super Dwight. It's like he's been bitten by a radioactive Dwight or som--

What's a skinny guy like Toby know about cookies? You can't trust him to understand the wants and needs of the thick man.

If I have a question about my cookies at midnight, who am I gonna call? Darryl. Toby's probably in bed with some model.

You think people are gonna buy cookies from my... Chubby daughter? Baby, if you're watching this, you're not chubby. You're beautiful.

Yes! This is too tan. This right here. No! This is a tan spot. I don't buy it. That is a freckle. That is not a tan.

I want you looking totally puertoriquena when I see you.

♪ oh, baby, telephone ♪ ♪ and tell me I'm your own ♪

50? Hungrier. You're not talking... Triple digits. Oh, yeah, I'm talking triple digits.

♪ hello, my baby, hello, my honey ♪ ♪ hello, my ragtime gal ♪

You're like an amish return-stick.

That is the mark of a great man-- Unstoppability. Dunder Mifflin... the farm, Mose. All those things. Vanish in my rearview mirror.

And from what I hear, she's a-- Oh!

All I had to do was think about pie, and my salivary glands did the rest.

Oh, look like shnoot's a no-show. Guess he wasn't Vice President material after all. But I am. Put me in, babe. I've got the info down backwards, forwards, and doggy-style.

'Sup?

Jackie chan!

Now people will think I'm doing hot girls all day. I don't know, man, they might think we're drag queens. Yeah, I don't know why you picked names that are also guys' names.

This may be wrong, but there's a limit to what I would do for my child. Yeah, I have my dignity too. I refuse to be another man's horsey.

Whatever you do... Do not blame Todd packer. It is not his fault. Blame his upbringing, his parents. The society that would mold this idiotic creature. Fire the employee, yes. But not the man. You may not cancel his soul.

Are you kidding? She's the queen of the whole friggin' magilla!

You're about to close four tabs, are you sure you want to continue? Yes. I am sure. Ahh! Slow computer!