Customer Loyalty

The Holy Grail. Did you send Dwight on a quest for the Holy Grail? I think I'm a little too busy these days to send... Oh, my God, I did send Dwight on a quest for the Holy Grail.

The Dunder Code! I completely forgot about that prank. That had to be, like, six or seven years ago. Stayed late every night for a month. Had a lot more free time back then.

Dwight climbing into ceiling above accounting while Jim and others watch

Man, I wish I was there to see his face when he gets to the end and finds the fake grail? No grail? You don't remember? I don't.

What? That's a flush.

There's nothing down here. Oh. I expected more from Young Halpert. This just... Forget it, forget it.

Well, we created a fake profile for a really cool guy named Derek McBlack. Wow.

It's just Pete in sunglasses. Oh.

So far we're only popular with imaginary people, but we think this is the start of something big.

Well, all right. Pete and I work well together. Not that there's anything special about Pete. It could be any guy. Or girl. Not that I'm into girls. Not that I'm into Pete. Ah! What was the question?

Pam doing the 'Cece Spin and Kiss' dance move alone in talking head

'Athlead.' Please. They're too lazy to call it Athletes Lead?

Jim should just call it Stumpany for stupid company.

Well, take your worst fear and multiply it by infinity.

You won't stop until you've poached us all. Yeah. Even you. No! I'll be damned if I'm going to let us lose me.

Potato? Oh, no. Kevin, it's not a joke.

I mean, who are they going to go with, some nobody like me, or a big name like Tracy Fleeb?

Yes, Jim, I think I know how to point a rectangle at something.

Yeah, see? You've still got to press end, Pam. Press end.

Alan Olifson from North Dakota. He also likes Hammermill and Georgia Pacific. Wow, that guy's really into paper. Yeah.

Awkward handshake/fist bump choreography failure between Pete and Erin

Andy has just started to be nice to me and now I've sent his girlfriend into the arms of a younger man! And I cc'ed him on every incriminating memo. 'Pete and Erin, don't hold back. Our social media presence should be hot, hot, hot. Go at it vigorously.' I did everything but unzip their pants for them.

Wait, this says 'Dunder Mifflin Loyalty Pledge.' This? Oh, what? Double mocha latte, please? You got it. Just sign your name below. Whatever you want.

Customer loyalty. What is it? Can you hold it in your hand? Can you nudge it with your finger? Can you dump it on a woman? No! Why? Because it's an idea. But what does it mean?

Oh, it's when you get a free sandwich after you've already eaten 10 sandwiches. Not even close.

L... It. LoYa V Loyaw 'Loyalty' is exactly right!

Let's all ask ourselves, have we been faithful in our relationships? Mmm. That's none of your damn business.

So is it all right for her to flirt with Creed, for example? Let's try it out. No, let's not say Creed. Let's say Mr. X.

Can we just say Pete, 'cause that's the guy that Erin's flirting with?

Really? I'm sorry. Sorry.

I got the mural! Oh, my God! Um, I'm sorry, I have to go. My daughter is a ladybug. I know that doesn't make any sense. Um, thank you, thank you!

You're very rude. Yes. Very rude. Kids are dancing!

So, should we go call Jim and go tell him to go screw himself?

It can't be more fun than selling paper and paper products. It can. Are you pretending to be crazy?

Well, Andy's cute, but he's too vanilla. Whereas Pete, he's just one sick dude. I mean, you know this guy likes to get weird.

With slamming bods like that? They ain't playing checkers.

People, it's 2013. Erin is a strong, independent woman. Who says she has to end up with any man?

Your feelings for Erin? Probably your heart. And a little bit your penis.

Most relationships eventually die on their own. But sometimes they just need a little pillow over the face.

Yes, we will be delivering a shipment of paper today, but I will also be delivering you a big shipment of fun!

Fun.

I just remembered. I kissed that man.

It's 30 degrees out, you're drinking a milkshake? Nope. Fire in the hole! Yeah!

You just threw a milkshake into a restaurant where they make minimum wage. It's a YouTube thing! Let's go, let's go! Come on. They're coming!

That. I'll watch it. Let's get this over with. All right, you don't have to... Let's get this over with, Pam.

Oh, no! I took a phone call in the middle of taping and then when I went to turn it back on, I must have turned it off. User error. I've heard it happens to other people.

I'm sure Pam is already kicking herself for choosing a phone call over her child.

Whenever I tell him good news, he's always like 'Beesly!' I love that. The only thing better than getting the job. 'Beesly!'

This barely even feels like a prank anymore.

They make you come back and clean it up.

You never stop surprising me.

Did I just hear you laughing with glee? No. I was just clearing my throat.

Actually, funny story, I didn't get it. I shouldn't have been so cocky about my rectangle-holding skills after all.

Oh, great. So we'll see somebody else's kid with Cece in the background?

I mean, it's really not that hard to film a video.

Maybe you should have been there.

What am I doing wrong, Brian?

Give her a minute. It's just a tough situation, all right? It's getting tougher.

Let's turn the cameras off. Seriously, guys? Enough. Enough.

Fire in the hole! Go! Go! Go! I nailed that guy! I'm going to miss the paper business.