Andys Ancestry

Who am I? I'm Jim. We've been working together for 12 years. Weird joke, Dwight. You're not Jim. Jim's not Asian. You seriously never noticed? Hey, hats off to you for not seeing race.

Asian Jim knows Jim's sales details and voicemail password

Pam treats Asian Jim as her husband, making dinner reservations

Dwight's confused stammering reaction when he sees the real Jim

This morning, I brushed my teeth in the shower. Saved myself 90 seconds. Which I just used to explain this to you. Damn it.

Whoa. That person has really gotten him... or herself... into quite a predicament.

French. It's a great language. If you're a chain-smoking acrobat.

It has a lot of nudity. Which I fast-forward through to get to the chopped-off heads.

Nellie! Get your wrinkly old balls in here.

I have a thing. A thing of soup. Which I've been wanting to try.

Wife of Barack, loves gardening, wants to wipe out fat children.

what's your stance on politics? Or, what is the best war to do? And I will just be like, 'duh...'

Yeah, we noticed early on Andy really appreciates enthusiasm. So we decided the best way to get ahead here is to be his cheerleaders.

It's starting to have this reverse effect, though, where I really do think the stuff he does is awesome. Yeah, me too. It's weird. Hard to remember what's real at this point. Just clap through it, man.

Darryl said, 'cool, man.' He called me a cool man.

Well, somebody owned somebody. And I don't think anybody would buy an Andy.

Pam, I barely know how to turn on my computer.

Whoa. That person has really gotten him... or herself... into quite a predicament.

Right on, brother. Word dat.

Angela insisted that all the animals be fully clothed.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, the Dothraki word for 'slave master,' azzafrok, is a term of respect.

That you're learning a made-up language from HBO's Game of Thrones? I have a lot going on today, but this was a great nerd-out.

People laughed at Klingon at first, and now you can major in it.

Hey, boss. I am so thirsty, can I have a scoop of water?

Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes by Paul Simon, featuring, Ladysmith African-American Mombazo.

Pam, I'm related to Tonya Harding. No, I'm just practicing my lying.

My ex behaved like Nixon. All of the lying, none of the sexual charisma.

You're a cocky little thing, aren't you, Pam?

Wayne Johnson? The Rock? You mean Dwayne, and no.

Dwight's grandfather... Was a member of the Bund, which is not technically the same thing as the Nazi party.

I was joking about that whole Bund thing. Ho, the look on your faces.

We merely transported them. Which, at worst, makes us amoral middlemen.

What if I said that my dad beat me, and I just left out the croquet of it all?

Hiring Scranton's most dangerous young muralist to paint the warehouse wall.

She never loved you. / I am gonna find you someone better, and rich. And Filipino. But we'll break that to her later.

I don't know what I was so worried about. I have the best wife in the world.

I still can't believe he didn't tell me.