We've Got Spirit

Nick · Lindsay:Nick delivering deep philosophical ramblings about mortality and meaning, then Lindsay flatly asks 'Are you stoned?' and he laughs 'A little bit.'

Nick:Nick, mid-existential ramble, pivots to asking where John Bonham is right now — 'Is he in the ground rotting away somewhere, or maybe he's up in heaven partying with Jimi and Janis?'

Daniel:Daniel rants that jocks 'think they're such badasses, walking around like they cured cancer. They're just monkeys.' Then immediately does a monkey impression.

Ken:Ken: 'Where's Lover Boy?' about Nick. Then after being corrected: 'I thought you two were joined at the tongue or something.'

Daniel · Kim:Daniel asks 'Are you pregnant?' when Lindsay pulls Kim aside. Then Kim does it again privately to Lindsay right after.

Kim:Kim privately asks Lindsay 'So... are you pregnant?' again — now alone, same question

Kim:Kim's advice on how to handle Nick: 'Let me straighten him out. I'll beat some sense into him.'

Cindy:Cindy tells Sam about her feelings for Todd: 'It's not like a crush. It's like...an obsession.'

Sam:Sam complaining about the school mascot: 'The mascot is depressing me. Look at him. He's running in place. What is that? Is that supposed to be funny?' — while the mascot runs in place trying to generate crowd energy

Bill:Bill's final complaint about the mascot: 'I wish he'd sit down. He's blocking Cindy.'

Neal:Neal on cheerleaders dating athletes: 'Cheerleaders have to date athletes. It's the law.'

Sam:Sam watches the mascot attempt a fall and mutters: 'He can't even fall funny.'

unnamed students:One kid tells another 'I heard that Stevie Wonder was Jewish' — the other corrects 'You're thinking of Sammy Davis Jr.' — first kid insists: 'No. I read it in the newspaper.'

Neal:Neal's 'cousin slipped into a coma once. When he woke up, he spoke fluent Spanish' anecdote, delivered casually while discussing the mascot's concussion.

Bill:Bill's 'subliminal message' theory: 'She wants you to be the new mascot. I really need a mascot. I really need SAM to be the new mascot.' Repeating it three times as if translating.

Neal · Bill · Sam:Neal announces he's going to be the new Norseman mascot; Bill immediately counters 'No. Sam's gonna be the new Norseman.' 'But Sam's not funny.' Sam: 'Oh yeah, I am.'

Neal · Sam:Neal: 'Being the school mascot has always been my dream.' Sam: 'Yeah, since lunch.'

Sam · Neal:Sam invokes the Star Wars 'Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi' line to convince Neal, and Neal caves immediately: 'You had to go and quote Star Wars, didn't you?'

Harold:Harold lists his community credentials to justify going to the game: 'I'm a member of the Rotary. And the Masons. And Councilman Applebee just last week asked me to run for the school board.' Then: 'Boy, I could be the mayor, I wouldn't get any respect around this house.'

Bill · Sam:Bill informs Sam: 'I heard the mascot has to change with the cheerleaders in the girls' locker room.' Sam's response: 'Really? That doesn't sound right.'

Sam · Bill:After Cindy vaguely encourages Sam at auditions, Sam drily asks Bill: 'You think there's a subliminal message in there somewhere?' — Bill: 'For your sake, I hope not.'

Cheerleader:One of the cheerleaders on the old mascot: 'That guy was as funny as a car wreck.' — then immediately catches herself: 'I was just kidding.'

Unknown Students:Someone notes that Neal is 'better than the old mascot. That guy was as funny as a car wreck.' The injured mascot's friend is present and protests. Person: 'I was just kidding.'

Herbert:Herbert, the injured mascot, tells Sam to pull out a nose hair if he starts falling asleep — advice delivered while Herbert himself hasn't slept in days and is visibly struggling

Cheerleader · Sam:The cheerleader suggests Sam try out for the musical as 'a dancing Yeshiva student' in Fiddler on the Roof, seemingly as a genuine compliment after his mascot performance.

unnamed student:The loser at mascot tryouts shouts: 'It's all politics!'

crowd:The school chant: 'Assassinate Lincoln!' — the pep rally crowd screams it enthusiastically

Daniel:Daniel: 'This place is turning into a cult. These jocks, they put a ball through a hoop — whoop-de-freakin'-do.'

Ken:Ken reveals he's going to the game because: 'I heard we're gonna lose, right? I kinda think it's funny when the jocks cry. "Ooooh, they cheated!"' — then does a mock-crying jock impression

Ken · Lindsay:Nick appears at the freaks' hangout; Ken's sotto voce warning to Lindsay: 'Don't do it. Please.'

Ken:'I'd hate to be that guy's drum set tonight.' — Ken's parting shot as Nick and Lindsay leave together

Daniel:Daniel, watching Lindsay leave with Nick: 'I'd hate to be that guy's drum set tonight.'

Herbert · Vicki:Herbert, injured ex-mascot, gives Sam elaborate warnings about climbing the pyramid: 'Be careful not to pull their hair, 'cause they'll jerk up and you'll fall. Be careful not to pull their bra straps, 'cause they'll wiggle and you'll fall.' Vicki: 'HERBERT! Do you mind?'

Kim:Kim: 'That better have been water. That's all I'm sayin.'

Jean · Lindsay:Jean answers the phone for Nick, mouths 'I'm not here' to Lindsay; Jean then tells Nick Lindsay is 'out with her father...I don't know what they're doing, but they're out there doing it.' Then: 'OK. I'll let her know you called. Bye-bye, sweetie.'

Jean:Jean: 'Lindsay, I don't like to lie.' — her immediate guilty disclosure after hanging up

Harold:The phone rings (presumably a hang-up or prank call); Harold answers and delivers an escalating angry monologue: 'Hello. Hello? Ken, if this is you, be here an hour ago... I don't like having to wait around... I got other stuff to do. Are you gonna answer me, KEENNN?... Hello—' [hangs up]

Harold:After the first mysterious call, Harold gets another and warns: 'Fine. If this isn't Ken, you better not call back here...or I'll find you.'

Jean · Harold:Jean wakes Harold: 'I just had a conversation with Lindsay about her love life... I feel like...a mother.' Harold: 'Yeah. You're on my leg.' Jean: 'Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I just—I'm so tickled!'

Harold · Lindsay:Harold suggests Lindsay tell Nick 'he's a greasebucket and you deserve better' — Lindsay reacts with horror.

Sam · Harold:Sam tells Harold he's sore from mascot practice. Then: 'I think Cindy Sanders likes me.' Harold: 'Oh yeah?' Sam: 'Yeah. I got to form a human pyramid on top of her.' Harold: 'Well, that'll do it.'

Daniel · Kim:Daniel's relationship philosophy: 'Dumbest thing you can do — let a girl know how much you like her. Then they just run.' Kim: 'Oh, is that why you're such a bastard to me?' Daniel: 'Yeah. Well, you're still here, aren't ya?'

Kim:Kim spots the Lincoln car that water-ballooned her and immediately demands pursuit: 'Those jocks from Lincoln that nailed us, that's them! Go. Go. Go. Go. Before they get away!'

Neal · Bill:Neal watching Sam in mascot practice commentary: 'You see that phony sword? That is a great prop. Sam's not even using it. What do you do with a phony sword? A million things. You fall on it. You stab yourself. You stab the other mascot.' Bill: 'That's not funny.' Neal: 'It is if you do it right.'

Neal · Bill:Neal demonstrates proper Norseman comedy for Bill — 'A Norseman in a chorus line' and 'Hula dancer Norseman. Yes. A Norseman in Hawaii. That's funny!'

Bill:Bill: 'I can't be seen with you.' — reacting to Neal's public mascot demonstration

Nick:Nick's account of the Heidi Henderson incident: 'I wrote her poems...lots and lots of poems.' Then after she started showing them around: 'I want to get those poems back, right? And her dad catches me, and he starts yelling at me. And then the cops came. The whole thing just got blown totally out of proportion.'

Lindsay · Nick:After Nick's entire stalking confession, Lindsay says: 'Nick, I would never show your poems to anyone.' Nick: '[Laughs] You rule...so hard.' And then: 'Let's go to the game.'

Sam · Cindy:Sam — hopelessly in love with Cindy — advises her: 'Cindy, he probably has a lot of other girlfriends.' Then: 'I just don't want you to get too hung up on him just in case, you know, he won't go out with you or something.'

Kim · Daniel:Kim and Daniel preparing to spray-paint a Lincoln kid's car. Kim: 'I saw 'em. Do it.' Daniel: 'Why don't you do it?' Kim: 'Cause I'm a girl.'

Kim · Ken · Daniel:Kim wants the boys to vandalize the Lincoln car. Daniel and Ken debate who should do it. Kim: 'Why don't you do it?' Ken: ''Cause I'm a girl.'

Daniel · Lincoln kid:The Lincoln kid squares up to Daniel: 'What are you gonna do about it, huh?' — Daniel's response: 'Tell my mother that I love her.'

Sam:Sam puts on the Norseman mascot head and stumbles around completely blind — bumping into people, having no spatial awareness, to a series of increasingly irritated reactions

Sam:Sam in the Norseman head tries to high-five someone — gives them a poke in the face instead, completely disoriented

Neal:Neal inspires Sam to go out as mascot by invoking Steve Martin: 'You think Steve Martin always feels like being funny? No, but he goes out on that stage every night with his arrow and his banjo, and he kills.'

Harold · Daniel · Kim · Ken:Harold introduces Lindsay's beaten-up, just-vandalized freak friends to Councilman Appleby, Stan Miller, and the Sheriff, then awkwardly waves them off: 'Why don't you just run along with your friends now, OK?' — then to the community pillars: 'Teenagers. What are you gonna do?'

Jean · Nick:Jean intercepts Nick at the game, tells him 'Lindsay really does care about you. She told me so last night. She just feels overwhelmed right now. She needs her space.' — Nick's face falls; he confirms Lindsay didn't actually break up with him yet

Lindsay · Jean:Lindsay confronts Jean: 'Mom, did you break up with my boyfriend?' Jean: 'I don't — no, I just, uh — oh my goodness.'

Todd · Sam:Todd vomiting/having nerves before the game; Sam encounters him in the bathroom unexpectedly while wearing the Norseman head

Neal:Neal (now wearing the Norseman head) announces 'Man with a big head coming through!' and charges onto the gym floor

Cindy · Sam:Cindy, furious at Sam, yells at him through the mascot head: 'Sam, if you're mad at me, this is a really obnoxious way of showing it.' — Sam is wearing the head and literally cannot communicate back

Sam · Neal:Sam, after faking a stabbing with the Norseman sword, plays it up for the crowd: 'Oh, I stabbed myself! Oh my God, he's gonna die. Help me. I'm dying.' — the crowd loves it

Vicki · Sam · Neal:Vicki: 'You are in SO much trouble, Sam Weir.' Neal, watching: 'Uh-oh.' Sam, to Neal: 'Thank you, sir. May I have another?'

Nick:Nick, after Lindsay finally breaks up with him, responds with: 'Good.' Then after a beat: 'Great.' Then after another beat, in a completely different tone: 'No hard feelings, right?'

Jean · Neal:A cheerleader punches Neal (in the Norseman head) during the game chaos. Jean, watching from the stands: 'That girl just punched my little boy!'

Jean:Jean: 'That girl just punched my little boy!' — a Lincoln cheerleader has punched Neal-as-Norseman in retaliation

Neal · Vicki:Neal falls from the pyramid. Vicki: 'Sam, you've ruined everything!' Neal (dazed): 'Where am I? Who the hell are you?' Vicki: 'You're dead.' Neal: 'Nate Schweeber, you're a jerk!' Vicki: 'It's NEAL SCHWEIBER!'

Neal · Vicki:Vicki corrects herself: she called Neal 'Sam' when she was yelling at him. Neal, dazed: 'Nate Schweeber, you're a jerk.' 'It's Neal Schweiber!' — furious about the name even while concussed

Bill · Neal:Bill: 'Neal, that was incredible. You're the funniest mascot I've ever seen.' Neal: 'Thanks, Bill.' Bill: 'No, no, you're a comic genius!' Neal: 'Did you see when she hit me? Wasn't that funny?'

Neal · Vicki · cheerleaders:Final scene: 'There he is. Get him, girls!' — the cheerleaders chase Neal. He begs: 'Come on, please! Let's talk about this!' then: 'No! Oh God! I'm a bleeder!'