The One with the Free Porn

Maybe he found your flip-flop.

Maybe we shouldn't pay our phone bill. Free phone sex. Maybe we shouldn't pay our gas bill.

Hey, that lady's all kinds of naked.

Finding money with naked people on it! But I made the mistake of turning off the TV. I never got it back again. And I'm sad.

Why would he turn off the TV?

And no one touches the air around the TV.

Imagine a protective porn bubble, if you will.

We still have porn.

I need a job with a smaller table. Or a job without a table. You mean, like a doctor?

You're blocking the porn!

You must feel horrible. Hey, the guys have free porn.

Don't do the accent. It really bums me out.

Is that why you hung out with that Ukrainian kid in school?

Yeah, plus his mom used to put sour cream on everything.

I am a good kisser. Then you two can sneak into the cockpit.

I've been watching too much porn.

Let's take care of this one. If I get pregnant again, I have your card.

You guys were worried I wouldn't even have one.

It'll be like one of those log rides when they come shooting out.

What do you know? Have you ever had triplets? No. I'm sorry, I haven't. I'm going to use this a lot.

You know how, when you're walking down the street... and you see three people in a row. And you say 'Oh, that's nice.'

I've finally got my band!

No, back to happy. Back to happy!

It'll be like my very own little sweatshop.

You're in college? Refrigerator college.

And I love refrigerators.

Three kids and no money.

That's a big candy bar.

Thank you.

It's no problem.

It's the theme from Good Will Humping.

Yeah, he likes porn.

To find out if he really thinks models are too skinny.

Frank has to quit college... because his super-fertile sister's having three babies.

But I can get you free White-Out.

She said, 'Thank you.' I said, 'I love you.' And she said, 'Thank you.'

She already lives in London.

So you go to Tokyo.

You're over! What? You know.

Good one.

Then we'd be the guys who turned off free porn.

Look, I'm going to have a kid someday. Okay? And someday that kid is going to ask me if I ever turned off free porn. I don't wanna have to tell him that I did.

Did you ever asked you dad that? I don't want to talk about it.

Don't you hate to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife?

Pregnant woman slays four?

What's that? My Saturn dealership.

Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?

When you say 'still around,' you mean still around like you might be in a relationship... or still around like you might have died waiting for the phone to ring?

I missed and hit the door. But it opened really hard.

I made fun of his accent. You sat back and let him have her. You didn't fight. I just told you, I made fun of him behind his back.

It's like a snake pit. That could be you and Emily. That but nicer.

Can you pick me up one of those Toblerone bars at the airport?

A place that no one will get out of alive?

It's a Relaxi-Taxi!

You came up with Relaxi-Cab. That's not good.

It's not Relaxi-Cab. It's Relaxi-Cab. Like Taxi-Cab. That is better.

I was right! I'm right, right?

Yes, Joey, you can have all the chocolate you want.

Mrs. Newman, if you're listening, bugger off. None of your business.

Thank you.

I was just at the bank. There was this really hot teller... and she didn't ask me to do it with her in the vault.

No 'Nice apartment, bet the bedrooms are huge'? Nothing!

Free porn! We have free porn!

Don't worry, I won't let the other two know.