The One with the Routine

That's a good story, Grandpa.

Did someone get her drunk again, or?

And we're done. Ta-da!

See, now it feels like Christmas.

So around the same time that you started telling this story.

I can see why that's hard to resist.

I just want to feed her grapes and brush her hair.

You are aware that she's not a monkey, right?

Yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now she's like old news.

It's called some sort of Dickin' Rockin' Dicky Eve.

You're still just a little fat girl inside, aren't you?

What are you laughing at? Well, I used to date him, but you're still going out with her.

If she says, 'What are you doing?' I can say, 'It wasn't me, it was New Year's.'

That's better than Ross kissing me in high school and saying that he did it because he needed Chap Stick. It was a dry day.

Oh, my God! It's just like I dreamed it!

I can save you time, ladies. I'm right here.

Oh, well, that makes it not terrible.

She's always bested us, that wily... minx.

Why would you do that to her? Why? Why?

Dear Losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you.

No. Never do that.

Okay, that did not just happen.

When you learned to dance, did you forget how to put on underpants?

Really, you think so? I don't.

Those are mine. I got those for you.

Oh. Okay, I'm sorry. Thank you for my 'az.'

Would it help if I weren't wearing underpants? Would it?

She's nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this.

Hey, man. You're the one who wet his pants.

Mom and Dad are gonna be so faced!

So do we really need to ask who's going up on the platform next?

Get this. Dick will want it for the Bloopers show.

What's the matter with you? Go! Yeah, take a hike, wet pants!

Happy No Year!

Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.

Or we could just follow your clever jokes. Any ideas? Didn't think so.

Hmm. How about my 'az'?

Don't look directly at them!

Whatever, Linus. I'm opening mine.

Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier? That's what you got me? Yes, I see. That look is priceless.

What was that for? Tonight when they yelled 'cut' and we didn't get to kiss... I was really, really disappointed, and I just... I just really wanted to kiss you.

Sure. New Year's Eve is only two weeks away. Can you wait? No. Me neither.

You don't have to count down every time we kiss. Oh. Okay. Except I sort of felt like I needed a couple seconds to get ready.

Hey, by the way, quick thinking about catching me.

I don't know. You were a lot bigger... I mean, stronger back then.

I can't do it! Ahh! [ROSS THUDS] Now, you do that, you're on TV.