Paula worries about her job when Larry gets angry with her over guests canceling, and really goes all out to convince a reluctant Danny DeVito not to cancel too. Larry and Artie try to decide what to choose as the guest gift.
WAR
51.7
Wins Above Replacement
“The Gift Episode” ranks #32 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.0 — Elite. The episode packs 52 scored jokes at 1.9 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Paula landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Larry: He's putting my photo on the inner thigh. Oh, God damn it. Maybe you're right. Maybe it should be the outer thigh.
Phil: Oh, hell, yes. We could put your cock on it. As long as it's not the hour hand.
Paula: Okay, what he said was: 'I really appreciate the effort you put into your job each day.'
Beverly: Ooh, girl, you are fucked.
Artie: Damn it, if this stage caves in, you won't need bathrobes. You'll need bodybags.
Artie Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Larry: Although, you know, I'd feel a little awkward knowing that strangers were putting their lips on my head.
Larry Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 52 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Artie: Jason Alexander? Uh, only if we can't get Michael Richards or Jerry Seinfeld.
Paula: Mary Lou retton? Marilu henner. Oh, thank God. The last thing we need is Larry on those uneven bars again.
Paula: Oh, my gosh! Good one, Artie. Oh, I liked their first album, but the second one was a disappointment.
Larry: They got the stain completely out. I can't believe it. Well, we'll use them as our regular dry cleaner from now on.
Larry Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Hank: Are we ordering lunch?
Paula: No, Hank. We're not.
Hank: Oh, because I heard someone mention potatoes, and I... I can have those on my new diet.
Hank: Please do, because I only have the one shake in the morning.
Paula: His agent said he wouldn't be feeling well tonight.
Larry: Yeah, I've had that.
Paula Larry Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Paula: Well, perhaps the fact that we pay them scale and send 'em home with a piece of shit t-shirt and hat...
Paula Dark/Subversive Observational ★ Rewatch Larry: I really appreciate the effort that you put into your job each day.
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Paula: Okay, what he said was: 'I really appreciate the effort you put into your job each day.'
Beverly: Ooh, girl, you are fucked.
Larry: I don't think she's got the right personality. I think she's too... abrasive? No, it's, uh... brusque? No. Incapable of putting a performer at ease because she's has a basic contempt for the business.
Paula: And screw you, you glorified 10%-taking butt boy.
Paula Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: But it's in the shape of a hat?
Paula: No, really, Larry, it's kind of embarrassing, because even the arsenio people gave out bathrobes with his big ol' triangle-shaped head on the back.
Paula: even the arsenio people gave out bathrobes with his big ol' triangle-shaped head on the back
Paula Observational Visual Gag Artie: Damn it, if this stage caves in, you won't need bathrobes. You'll need bodybags.
Artie Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Larry: Well, evidently, we already give a bag.
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Paula: Not if I kill myself before 5:30.
Paula Dark/Subversive Escalation Artie: Or is there just my suit floating in space?
Artie Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phil: Well, you know, those are made to be seen, not to be worn. They're made to hang in your closet so when someone looks in there they say, 'oh, you've been on arsenio.'
Phil Observational Character Comedy Phil: Milk chocolate necktie. He does.
Larry: Well, those are probably meant to be eaten, not worn.
Paula: Is that suzanne pleshette? Phil, get out!
Larry: Although, you know, I'd feel a little awkward knowing that strangers were putting their lips on my head.
Larry Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Paula: War of the roses is one of Larry's favorite films. Did I mention that?
Paula Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Danny DeVito: This is getting very sad. Do you have any shame at all?
Hank: I'm like a dog that way. I just have a very bad feeling.
Hank Character Comedy Absurdist Beverly: No, that was Hank clearing his throat.
Beverly Deadpan/Understatement Physical/Slapstick Paula: Because twice today, he said that I was doing a really good job.
Hank: Oh... I didn't know he said it twice.
Beverly: You're digging a mighty deep hole over there.
Paula: Good. Then I can jump in after I shoot myself in the head.
Paula: Just think of whatever you would ask a potato lady. And that's all there is to it? And put question marks at the end so Larry knows that they're questions.
Paula: And put question marks at the end so Larry knows that they're questions.
Paula Character Comedy Observational Larry: He's putting my photo on the inner thigh. Oh, God damn it. Maybe you're right. Maybe it should be the outer thigh.
Larry: I don't want to talk to the fucking potato lady.
Larry Escalation Character Comedy Paula: Um, I think it's just tremendous what you're doing here for juvenile diabetes. And I don't know if you know this, but Larry has low-blood sugar.
DeVito: It's not the same. Is it? It's not the same.
Paula: Are you telling me that you can't walk 200 feet to plug your own movie? It'll be great exposure, and it'll prevent Larry from firing me. Please?
Paula Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Artie: Iook at this. The name of the horse... Larry's valentine. Jockey... Hank Espinoza. The trainer's name is Bill. Bill, just like the guy who writes for us. Phil. No, it's Bill. See...
Artie: The name of the horse... Larry's valentine. Jockey... Hank Espinoza. The trainer's name is Bill.
Artie Character Comedy Absurdist Jimmie Walker: Guy robs a lady in the subway. The cops come to try to stop this guy. The criminal refuses to stop. They shoot the guy in the back. Paralyze the criminal. The criminal sues the transit system for $4.5 million... and he won the case. Now he's suing nike, 'cause he says if he had had better sneakers, he'd been able to run faster, and they never would have caught him.
Paula: Where is he? He's in make-up.
Paula: One more segment with the potato lady, and then Danny...
Larry: I'm not doing a dumb segment with the potato lady.
Larry: I got to tell you the truth. I'm torn but, uh... madison is who it looks like to me. I would take another guess if I were you.
Hank: I never had the bad feeling worse than I do right now.
Hank Character Comedy Running Gag Callback DeVito: Late? I just decided 5 minutes ago to do the show. What do you mean late?
DeVito Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch DeVito: Well, your booker, she said that you were going to fire her if... if I didn't, uh, show up. I don't want that on my conscious. She's troubled.
DeVito Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Danny DeVito: your booker, she said that you were going to fire her if... if I didn't, uh, show up. I don't want that on my conscious.
Hank: Now I look like one of those pussies who got under the desk.
Artie: Hot to trot. OK, I knew it. Breathe.
Artie Hank Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback DeVito: if I'm gonna die, I want to die with my family, not with jimmie walker and the weirdo with the doughnuts. Potatoes? The potato lady? Whatever.
DeVito Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phil: the jogging suit is just a wrapping, sir, inside, you'll find a lovely silver desk clock from tiffany.
DeVito: Silverplate?
Phil: Solid silver, Mr. D. Swiss movement.
Danny DeVito: Potatoes? The potato lady? Whatever.
Phil: Oh, hell, yes. We could put your cock on it. As long as it's not the hour hand.
Paula: You wouldn't believe that lengths I have to go to. The other week, when Tom hanks tried to back out, I had to cry and feign illness.
Paula Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Paula: muffin mania gifts. It's endless.
Paula Absurdist Character Comedy Paula: Bob uecker, Shari Lewis, and the seashell man. And sting.
Larry: Oh, have we got sting? You betcha. Great.
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