After reminiscing about high school, the guys conclude that it would be a public service if they allowed teens to drink in the bar, thus providing a safe and controlled environment for teens to party. Feeling that she missed out on a lot as a teenager due to having to wear a brace for her scoliosis, Dee begins dating a high school jock.
WAR
30.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Underage Drinking: A National Concern” ranks #118 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 76.1 — Great. The episode packs 37 scored jokes at 1.4 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Mac landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Dee · Trey: Let's, uh, just take it slow. Where were you when I was in high school? I was eight.
Dee Trey Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Dee: I never statutory raped anyone before.
Dee Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dee · Mac · Charlie: I don't know how you guys live with yourselves. One day at a time. One day at a time.
Mac · Charlie: I'm telling you, this is the wrong kind of glue, Charlie. This is made for, like, kindergartners or something. We don't want safe. We want toxic.
Dennis: You were popular like a clown is popular. All the guys knew you couldn't sleep with their girlfriends.
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 37 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Unknown character: Even Sweet Dee's getting lucky! That dude's gonna bang your sister, bro.
Unknown character: How old are you? Twenty-one? Everybody, out!
Dennis · Charlie: And we also have a social responsibility to keep teenagers from drinking. I guess.
Mac: We would almost get raped and/or murdered and/or stabbed by crackheads in Fairmount Park.
Mac Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Mac · Dee: Every time some guy talks to you that you like, you get so nervous you drink yourself into oblivion. I had bad potato salad.
Mac Dee Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Mac: Maybe we have 'a social responsibility' to provide a safe haven for these kids to be kids.
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Dee · Mac · Charlie: I don't know how you guys live with yourselves. One day at a time. One day at a time.
Dee: As a matter of fact, I have a date this afternoon with my friend Steven.
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dee: I've been there, like, 200 times.
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dee: The trick is to just kind of open your throat.
Dee Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Dennis · Mac: The only reason you got to hang out with me and the other cool kids is 'cause you sold us all weed. Everybody thought you were an asshole.
Dennis: You were popular like a clown is popular. All the guys knew you couldn't sleep with their girlfriends.
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dennis · Mac · Charlie: Tim Murphy slept with your prom date! Oh. He's getting sad now. Oh, no. There's, like, watering in the eyes. Now he's running away.
Dee: I never statutory raped anyone before.
Dee Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dee · Trey: Let's, uh, just take it slow. Where were you when I was in high school? I was eight.
Dee Trey Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Mac · Dennis: These kids are wasted, bro. I thought we were cuttin' 'em off. I am cuttin' 'em off. These kids haven't had more than three drinks each. Plus, there's so much water, they're probably more hydrated than they ever have been.
Mac · Dennis: Are they fakin' it? I guess.
Mac · Charlie: Charlie, that was the coolest thing you've ever done! I know. I'm gonna be sick.
Dennis · Dee: You wore that scoliosis back brace until you were 20 years old. Everyone was afraid of you. You looked like a monster!
Mac · Charlie: I'm telling you, this is the wrong kind of glue, Charlie. This is made for, like, kindergartners or something. We don't want safe. We want toxic.
Mac · Charlie: Kind of a lame party, bro. Uh, what do you think? Should we jet? Yeah. This doesn't feel right.
Unknown: Seventy-seven seconds! That is a new record, baby!
Unknown Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mac: Yeah! What do you think about that, bitches? Load 'em up, losers! What do you think about this, huh? How I embarrassed your boyfriend in front of everybody?
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Unknown teens: What's with this guy? I know. What is he, like, 40?
Dee · Charlie: Trey asked me to prom last night. This is getting really weird. That girl Sara asked me too.
Unknown girl · Dennis: You can either take me to the prom or I can tell the police that you're serving underage kids. Are you serious? Try me.
Mac: The only reason that Sara asked you in the first place is because you're the only idiot dumb enough to listen to her bitch about her ex-boyfriend all night!
Mac Character Comedy Escalation Dee: My back brace was under the dress, and Mom called me fat. So I stayed home and cried instead.
Dee Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Callback Charlie: That dude is going to bang your sister, bro.
Charlie Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Mac · Dee: Yes, and your eyebrows are drawn on, so... Say it, don't spray it.
Mac Dee Character Comedy Escalation Mac: He's totally gonna bang your sister.
Mac Callback Character Comedy Callback Trey: I always wanted to have sex on prom.
Trey Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Dennis · Mac: Eighteen's legal, bro. This isn't a morality contest. Eighteen's not young, brother.
Charlie: They were actually using you two to make each other jealous.
Charlie: That dude's gonna bang your prom date, bro.
Charlie: Just like high school.
Charlie Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
