After discovering that he might have cancer, Mac and Dennis attempt to find a woman who will sleep with Charlie. In the midst of their search, Mac falls in love with a transsexual he meets at the bar named Carmen. Overwhelmed by the extra workload that she had to take on since Charlie has taken a leave of absence, Dee tries to get Dennis to hire a recently out of work actress friend to help out.
WAR
49
Wins Above Replacement
“Charlie Has Cancer” ranks #15 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 86.1 — Elite. The episode packs 40 scored jokes at 1.7 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.2 on impact, with Dennis landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Charlie: Here's the thing though... about cancer. I don't have it.
Charlie Misdirection Escalation ★ Rewatch Dennis: Cancer... gold mine.
Dennis Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Dennis · Carmen · Dennis: Is that a penis in your pants? - Yeah. - You lied to me.
Dennis: Uh, we paid you $250 to sleep with Charlie and... And you never actually had sex with him. So we were wondering if we could get the 250 bucks back.
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dee: Dennis, our bar is in South Philly in a scary alley. Might as well call it Rape Bar.
Dee Dark/Subversive Observational All Jokes — 40 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Dennis: Wow, dude! I thought my place looked like shit.
Dennis Observational Character Comedy Charlie: No. Yeah, it's... I found out I might have cancer, so ooh.
Charlie Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dennis: Uh, did you want to talk, like, right now?
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dennis: It's just that Mac and Sweet Dee are down in the car waitin' for me. I told them I'd just, you know, zip in and zip out.
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dennis: Could I get the... the basketball though? It's just we're supposed to meet, like, a bunch of people... and we were supposed to bring that.
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: And we cried together, and I held him for a while... and that was it.
Dennis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dee: That is so sad. He is gonna look so bad without that hair.
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mac · Dennis: What's the one thing that Charlie never gets? - Laid.
Mac: So Charlie's wasting away, and we're gonna talk about Sweet Dee's feelings all morning.
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Dee: Dennis, our bar is in South Philly in a scary alley. Might as well call it Rape Bar.
Dee Dark/Subversive Observational Dennis: Carmen, you have the most amazing body. Are you bulimic, or what?
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dee · Mac: That's a dude. - No. The one with the exposed midriff and the cans.
Dee Mac Misdirection Character Comedy Mac · Dennis: There's an unmistakable bulge of a large penis in those jeans. - There's a dick in those pants.
Dennis · Carmen · Dennis: Is that a penis in your pants? - Yeah. - You lied to me.
Charlie · Waitress: What time are... are you getting off of work? - It's not a thing to walk away about. Whatever.
Dee: You know what that symbolizes? Those bracelets symbolize jumping on fashion trends. And you know what the thing that's so rad is? They come in all kinds of colors now, so you can accessorize your compassion with your outfits.
Dee Irony/Sarcasm Observational Mac · Dennis · Mac: She is in... way over her head. - In what? - Debt.
Mac: How about that game against Dallas... when Santa came out at halftime and we threw batteries?
Mac Dark/Subversive Observational Mac Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Artemis: I'm just a small-town girl... who moved to the big city with big dreams... just to find out... the only way to make it in the big city... is to shake it. And that's what I do... at the Coyote Ugly.
Artemis: I won't be able to pay my bills! I'm thinkin' about goin' on welfare! What am I gonna do?
Dennis: Uh, Rick Astley. What's up?
Dennis Character Comedy Observational Dennis · Mac · Dennis · Mac · Dennis: She's gettin' it removed. - So what? - I'm just puttin' in my time, you know? So that afterwards I'll be... - Gross, dude. - First.
Dennis: Charlie has cancer.
Dennis Deadpan/Understatement Callback Callback Mac · Dennis: You did what? - I slept with her.
Dennis: Cancer... gold mine.
Dennis Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Carmen · Mac · Carmen: Gross. - 250. - Deal.
Mac Callback Running Gag Callback Artemis Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Artemis: I shake it. Shake it. I shake it. I shake it. I shake it. I sha...
Artemis Physical/Slapstick Cringe/Discomfort Charlie: I feel like an ice cream sundae, you know?
Charlie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: Here's the thing though... about cancer. I don't have it.
Charlie Misdirection Escalation ★ Rewatch Dennis: Oh, no. You know what? It's a dude. Yeah, she has a penis. So it's okay.
Dennis Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Charlie: Sometimes you gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelet.
Charlie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Dennis: The waitress doesn't even like you. We had to pay her $250 to have sex with you!
Dennis Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Charlie: We didn't have sex.
Charlie Misdirection Cringe/Discomfort Mac: I accidentally punched that tranny in the face. These two guys started chasing me.
Mac Physical/Slapstick Escalation Dennis: Uh, we paid you $250 to sleep with Charlie and... And you never actually had sex with him. So we were wondering if we could get the 250 bucks back.
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dennis · Mac: Uh, we paid you $250 to sleep with Charlie and... And you never actually had sex with him. So we were wondering if we could get the 250 bucks back.
Dennis Mac Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: She's probably gettin' the money though, right?
Mac Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Top Episodes — It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
