Mr. Ross

Mr. Ross · Susan's Mother:A slight resemblance. Her son's a podiatrist, you know. Oh, I have tremendous respect for people who work with feet. I mean, to dedicate yourself to the foot...

Mr. Ross · George:How are you enjoying those cigars I gave you? — I'm sucking them down. I'm puffing my brains out, yeah.

Mr. Ross · George:Those cigars are made special for Castro. — I did not know that. Weird. Wild.

Mr. Ross · Susan:I didn't care much for his jokes. — Daddy never laughs. — What is that? What is the point of opening your mouth and going: [laughter sound] — What is that?

Mr. Ross · Susan's Mother:You and your cigars. — Wear some more lipstick.

Mr. Ross · George:Oh, I forgot to ask you: how'd you like the cabin? — Oh, the cabin. Well...

Mr. Ross:My mother was recuperating from impetigo at the time, and Dad thought it would be a good idea to get her out into the fresh air. She died there the following winter.

Mr. Ross:And Dad passed away 10 years later to the day. His last words to me were: 'Cherish the cabin.' Not, 'Take care of your sister.' She's a paraplegic. But, 'Cherish the cabin.'

Mr. Ross · Susan · George:Burned? — The cabin burned? — Burned? — Burned.

Mr. Ross · Aunt Sara · Ricky:Sara, what do you have on your wheels? — Nothing. They're clean. — Ricky, did you wipe her wheels off? — Yes. — Well, they're filthy. — It's just a matter of common courtesy. You come in the house, you wipe your wheels.

Jerry · Susan · Mr. Ross:From — From John Cheever! — 'Dear Henry... last night with you was bliss. I fear my orgasm has left me a cripple... I love you madly, John. P.S. Loved the cabin.'

Jerry · George · Mr. Ross · Susan's Mother:Well, we really should be... — Yeah, look at the time. — ...heading out. You know, it's a time... — The box! My letters! Give me that! — Who told you to open it? — Who's John? Who's John?!

Frank · Mr. Ross:'What is that, like a little chicken?' / 'No, it's not a little chicken.' / '"Little chicken." No, it's a game bird.'

Frank · Mr. Ross:'What do you mean, like, you hunt it?' / 'Yes.' / 'How hard can it be to kill this thing?'

Frank · Mr. Ross:Frank's chicken/rooster/hen sexual logic: 'Let me understand. You got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So who's having sex with the hen?' / 'We'll talk about it another time.' / 'But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing!'

Mr. Ross · Frank:'They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.' / 'That's perverse.'

Mr. Ross · Frank:Mr. Ross attempts to change the subject: 'So has anybody seen Firestorm?' followed by the spoiler argument.

Mr. Ross:Mr. Ross's horrified 'Oh, Mother of God.' reaction shot, followed by a long pause.

George · Mr. Ross:George claims to 'get a little nervous on the weekends, that's all' when Mr. Ross notices his anxiety.

Mr. Ross · Mrs. Ross · Kramer:The horse farts in the hansom cab, forcing the Rosses to flee: 'What is that?' / 'I think it's the horse.' / 'Oh, my God.' / 'This is really intolerable.'

Jerry · George · Mr. Ross · Mrs. Ross:The rye bread rises past the Rosses' window on a fishing line, labeled 'Schnitzer's' — visible to all.

Mr. Ross · George:'It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children.' / 'Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do.'

Mrs. Ross · Mr. Ross:The Rosses try to remember Jerry's Star Trek quote: 'Something about a way, wasn't it? And a light and a--' / 'Who the hell knows.'

George · Mr. Ross · Mrs. Ross:Long time no speak. / We're all out of lime juice. / I told that woman to buy more.

Mrs. Ross · Mr. Ross · Elaine:Oh, you're George's friend. / We saw him in the city this weekend. / What happened to his place in the Hamptons? / The Hamptons? George Costanza?

George · Mr. Ross · Mrs. Ross:So here I am. Ready to take you to the Hamptons. / Sounds grand. / Do you have your bathing suits? / It's March.

George · Mr. Ross · Mrs. Ross:And that leads into the master bedroom. / Tell us more. / Wanna hear more? / The master bedroom opens into the solarium. / Another solarium? / Yes, two solariums.

George · Mr. Ross:Should I keep driving? / Oh, look, an antique stand. / Pull over. We'll buy you a housewarming gift.

Mr. Ross · George:There's no house! It's a lie! / There's no solarium. There's no Prickly Pete. / There's no other solarium. / We know.

Mr. Ross:We don't like you, George.

Mr. Ross:And we always blamed you for what happened to Susan.