Here Comes The Judge

Will:I got my sights set on this school... with the largest repository of girls with the big old butts. Oh, yeah!

Will:'cause my CD player has the wires on the inside.

Jazz:Why would I want to buy a broken CD player?

Will:I don't think you'd have to announce it, Mr. Banks. If you ran, we'd hear you coming.

Will:He still could use the exercise.

Will:Whoa, Uncle Phil, you sure you wouldn't want Carlton to wear Aunt Viv's apron?

Jazz:You told me to get it cleaned. So I washed it.

Will:You make a doorknob look smart, man.

Jazz:At least I got out all the A.1. sauce.

Carlton:Will, I hardly know you.

Phil:Hey, have you been undressing my Teddy Ruxpin again?

Phil:Hey, I'm happy that this fits over my belly.

Phil:Call a cop.

Vivian:I've been waiting all my life to hear you say that.

Vivian:Thank you. See, Will, I inspire him.

Will:Here, Carlton. Eventually, you'll grow into it.

Geoffrey:Well, down the toilet it goes.

Judge Robertson:Did I leave here with my pants on? Yes. Oh, thank God. But that means you must throw a lousy party.

Phil · Judge Robertson:Judge, we discussed that over dinner. I'm running against you. What? How dare you! Get out of my house! Out! Lionel, show him the door.

Judge Robertson:Yes, yes!

Judge Robertson:You idiot, you don't even deserve to sit on the bench.

Will · Geoffrey:I didn't know he had kids. He doesn't. And that's not his wife.

Will:And am I crazy or does he look 10 years younger?

Reporter · Judge Robertson:Lovely family. Thank you. Who are they? Rented.

Will:No, Rahjim Shabaz, Muslim activist. Salaam alaikum.

Will:And you think that just 'cause you got that badge... and all your tough cop friends walking around... and your cute little walkie-talkie... that you can talk to folks any old way you want to do it.

Will:Hip-hop cop. Blue looks nice on you, too. Match that big blue vein throbbing in your neck right now.

Will:One hell of a Friday night.

Will:How could he go to Alice's All Nude Review without me?

Judge Robertson:I thought he was selling condoms.

Judge Robertson:You're dead meat, Tiny.

Phil:I'd die if you made your own bed.

Phil:I'd die if you made your own bed

Carlton:Will, you seem embittered. Jail will do that to a man. Now that you've done hard time, a book may be in order. Criminals sell. I can sell criminals. You're a criminal.

Will:Really? And you're too short to ride the teacup ride at Disneyland.

Jazz:Haagen-Dazs opened in Bel-Air?

Jazz:Will, I got $2,000 worth of parking tickets.

Jazz:Can I borrow $2,000?

Jazz:Ain't you going to even bother to throw me out?

Geoffrey:So what are you wearing?

Carlton:Do I look like Jimmie Walker?

Hilary:No, Will, I don't want ribs, I don't want to wax your ride... and I don't even know what a Chumpy is.

Will:Actually, Aunt Viv, you got a, kind of a... homicidal, sumo-wrestler thing going.

Phil:What am I, Freud? Grab a fork, Vivian.

Jazz:You probably want to hang out with educated people... who drink their malt liquor in a glass.

Will:I think you mean hand to mouth, Jazz.

Jazz:Don't try to impress me with your fancy education.

Jazz:You used to think that was cute.

Jazz:You used to think that was cute

Jazz:I'm not a faucet to be turned on and off at your whim. I have emotions.

Jazz:I'm not a faucet to be turned on and off at your whim. I have emotions

Will:I said, 'shoot,' Mom.

Will's Mom:I raised my boy better than that. Oh, God.