After a series of destructive acts, Homer decides that Santa's Little Helper must go unless he passes obedience school. As the dog's last hours with the family approach, Bart must find a way to get through to him.
Dog training montage delivers 12 consecutive jokes, anchoring Season 2's middling episode.
Directed by Jim Reardon · Written by Jon Vitti, John Swartzwelder, Jeff Martin
WAR
39.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Barts Dog Gets An F” ranks #160 of 226 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 76.5 — Great. The episode packs 58 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.4 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
A millionaire! I kept the wrong one.
Dad? What is it, boy? I thought your car was cool. Thanks, boy. I was waiting for someone to say that.
All my life, I've looked for a car that feels right. Powerful like a gorilla, yet soft like a Nerf ball.
Thanks for nuclear power, which is yet to cause a single proven fatality...at least in this country. Amen.
Homer Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Persephone? What the hell kind of name is that? She was the Greek goddess of spring and rebirth. She was carried off to Hades where she ate six pomegranates-- People don't want cars named after hungry, old, Greek broads!
All Jokes — 58 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ $2.50 for this? What a gyp!
You broke up that meeting. Now I'm thinking about holding another meeting in bed.
The screen's small! The floor's sticky! The subplot felt tacked on. We demand a refund!
Don't have a heart attack, old dude. Don't you tell me what to do, you young whipper...snapper!
Thanks for nuclear power, which is yet to cause a single proven fatality...at least in this country. Amen.
Homer Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Bart ate during the blessing! You opened your eyes. Eating is worse. Is not! Is too!
One more word and Bart gets no cartoons...and Lisa can't go to college! Dad! Not one word!
No panto-ma-mine, either.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Oh, Dad! You and your imagination.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hey, handsome, wanna dunk the clown?
She did things your mother would never do. Like have sex for money.
This makes me feel special. Since I'm the one you kept, it means you really love me.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch A long-lost half-brother. How Dickensian!
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Know where this bastard lives? His parents aren't married. It's the correct word, isn't it? He's got us there.
You're a little late. They tore that down 30 years ago. Thirty years! I'll never find him!
Oh, brother, where art thou?
Homer Observational Setup/Punchline Yeah, but we're looking for my brother today.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Your brother could be anywhere, even Detroit.
Clerk Setup/Punchline Observational If you ask me...the city of brotherly love isn't Philadelphia, it's Detroit.
Clerk Misdirection Irony/Sarcasm Read between the lines, you fool!
Clerk Escalation Character Comedy Here's 20 bucks. Now, will you tell me where my brother lives? I don't-- Take it and tell me! He lives in Detroit.
'H'! Of course! That could stand for Herbert!
Homer Character Comedy Observational Hello? Hello? Stupid phone! Knock it off! I'm here! I was silent due to emotion.
But, Marge, I want to see my brother! Homer, it's an empty threat.
Sorry, sir, I didn't know it was you. That's okay. Carry on. See the way I handled that, Marge?
We're losing to the Japanese. Why? Unfair trade practices? Mushy one-worlders in Washington? Some gypsy curse?
Why did I hire Harvard idiots? You went there. But Mommy and Daddy didn't pay my way!
Persephone? What the hell kind of name is that? She was the Greek goddess of spring and rebirth. She was carried off to Hades where she ate six pomegranates-- People don't want cars named after hungry, old, Greek broads!
I guess they extend to when the Angles met the Saxons. When white met bread.
Holy moly! The bastard's rich!
Homer Character Comedy Callback Callback All born in wedlock? Yes, but Bart was a close call.
Lisa, are you the hell-raiser your father told me about? No, I can assure you I'm not. I'm the hell-raiser.
Oh, what's to know? Just dive in. Catch!
Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy God, that new-baby smell. Homer, you're the richest man I know. I feel the same about you.
Wait! Let me see if I got this right. It's Christmas day, 4:00 a.m...there's a rumble in my belly-- Homer!
'Uncle Herb' sounds so formal. Do you think you could call me 'Unky Herb'? No problemo, Unky Herb.
Herb Bart Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort A millionaire! I kept the wrong one.
Got him!
Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy You know what they cost me? There's maybe $40 worth of steel in them.
Herb Observational Dark/Subversive You hear that, morons? This is why we're getting killed! Instead of listening, you're telling people what they want.
Herb Character Comedy Observational I want to pay you $200,000 a year! And I want to let you!
Your brother told you to help us. Yeah, he did. Why don't you get us some coffee?
How could you ask for it? You don't know what it is. May I be excused?
It's because you're an average schmo. All you need is self-confidence.
Herb Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Hello, Einstein! I said a place to put my drink. The Super Slurpees they sell at Kwik-E-Marts are this big!
Homer Character Comedy Observational Put a horn here, here and here. I can't find it when I'm mad. And they should play 'La Cucaracha.'
Homer Escalation Character Comedy You're fired! What are we paying you for? A separate soundproof dome for the kids? With restraints and muzzles. Bull's-eye!
And when I gun the motor...I want people to think the world is coming to an end!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation To think I wasted my life in boardrooms and meetings. I could have been watching cartoons!
Herb Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm This old fool's wasted his life.
All my life, I've looked for a car that feels right. Powerful like a gorilla, yet soft like a Nerf ball.
$82,000! This monstrosity costs $82,000?
Herb Escalation Character Comedy Maybe I'd have been better off? Maybe? You sponge-head, of course I'd have been better off! As far as I'm concerned, I have no brother!
Herb Escalation Dark/Subversive Maybe he said that to make conversation.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dad? What is it, boy? I thought your car was cool. Thanks, boy. I was waiting for someone to say that.
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