When Homer gets a notice from the library that he has a book of classic tales that is years overdue, he finds it on the shelf and reads three stories: The Odyssey (where Homer and his bar buddies try to get home after fighting the Trojans), Joan of Arc (where Lisa leads the French against the English with the help of God), and Hamlet (where Bart tries to kill Moe after Moe kills Homer in order to marry Marge).
WAR
102.5
Wins Above Replacement
“Tales From The Public Domain” ranks #3 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 92.5 — Elite. The episode packs 81 scored jokes at 5.0 per minute, averaging 7.4 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Homer as Odysseus landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer as Odysseus: Forget it! Sacrificing animals is barbaric. Now have the slaves kill the wounded.
Chief Wiggum as Polonius: I hide behind curtains 'cause I have a fear of getting stabbed.
Homer: Son, it's not only a great play, but also became a great movie called Ghostbusters.
Homer Absurdist Misdirection ★ Rewatch Homer as Odysseus: Oh, I'm sorry I was gone so long, but I'm gonna do something I haven't done for 20 years. Take out the trash!
Marge as Gertrude: Yeah, that was quite a weekend.
All Jokes — 81 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: Overdue book? This is the biggest frame-up since O.J.
Homer Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: Wait a minute. Blood in the Bronco, the cuts on his hands, those Jay Leno monologues! Oh, my God! He did it!
Homer Escalation Absurdist Callback Homer: I checked that out when Bart was born. I was gonna read to him every day. What happened? Stuff kept coming up. Mostly car-related. Piece of crap.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Homer: I decide who reads and when!
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: Homer's Odyssey. Is this about that minivan I rented once?
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: That minivan had the biggest cup holders. And change slots for every coin, from penny to quarter.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Callback Lisa: Dad, I loved it, too, but it was seven years ago.
Lisa Reaction Beat Observational Callback Flanders: Hi, odiddily-Odysseus!
Flanders Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer as Odysseus · Flanders: I think I speak for all the Greeks when I say this war has gone on for too long. I'll say. I'd really like to go out and get the mail.
Homer as Odysseus · Flanders: Anyway, over torture, one of your soldiers mentioned that you collect giant wooden animals. We hope you don't have a horse. Well, I don't have one from you. Bring it in!
Homer as Odysseus: Now throughout history, when people get wood, they'll think of Trojans.
Lisa · Homer: What are you laughing at, Dad? If I'm laughing at what I think I am, it's very funny.
Lisa Homer Meta/Self-Referential Reaction Beat Callback Homer as Odysseus: Aw, look at them. Sleeping like little angels.
Homer as Odysseus: Remember, just 'cause their heads are off, it don't mean they're dead.
Homer as Odysseus: Forget it! Sacrificing animals is barbaric. Now have the slaves kill the wounded.
Zeus · Poseidon: You fat lush. You just destroyed Atlantis. You used to be fun.
Poseidon · Zeus: Where's the Zeus who used to turn into a cow and pick up chicks? He grew up. Maybe you should, too.
Homer as Odysseus: Greece is the word.
Homer as Odysseus · Soldier: Is it 'vase' or 'vase'? You gonna be asking that the whole trip?
Homer as Odysseus: Gentlemen, I must be wasted, 'cause it looks like that cloud is mad at me.
Sirens · Homer as Odysseus: On the island Island of Sirens Our hot sex Will leave you perspiring Hey, that's kind of catchy.
Homer as Odysseus · Sailor: It's coming from that island. Let's steer heedlessly towards it. Heedlessly it is.
Homer as Odysseus · Sirens: Boy, if they kiss as good as they lure, wow! On the island We'll sex you up
Homer as Odysseus: Oh, God! They're hideous! Someone gouge my eyes! Save me from the ladies!
Disco Stu: Discus Stu has ouzo for twozo.
Disco Stu Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Penelope · Disco Stu: I'll leave you guys alone. Discus Stu was talking to you.
Bugs Bunny: Ain't I a stinker?
Homer as Odysseus: Boy, who decided to give every weirdo an island?
Homer as Odysseus: Well, I was in the mood for something bubbling. Out of the way, slim.
Homer as Odysseus · Lenny-pig: That pig looks like Lenny. Hey! Mmm. That's the next best thing to eating Lenny.
Homer as Odysseus · Circe: Those were my friends? Yes. I've been saying that for hours. That's it! I'm going home!
Circe · Singer: You must go through Hades, crossing the River Styx. You're my lady Of the morning
Homer as Odysseus: Oh, this truly is hell!
Suitor: When we came here, Helen of Troy was hot! Now look at her! This is the face that launched a thousand ships, the other way.
Suitor Setup/Punchline Observational ★ Rewatch Homer as Odysseus: Oh, I'm sorry I was gone so long, but I'm gonna do something I haven't done for 20 years. Take out the trash!
Homer as Odysseus · Marge as Penelope: Sweet Penelope, you're just as beautiful as you were when I left. Oh, I can't stay mad at you.
Marge as Penelope · Homer as Odysseus: Brave Odysseus, it's been 20 long years. Regale me with tales of your adventures. Quit suffocating me. I'm going to Moe's.
Grandpa · Lisa: Ooh! Did you say Joan Van Ark? No, Mom. Joan of Arc. It's never Joan Van Ark.
Homer: This one takes place in a make-believe kingdom called France.
Homer Observational Absurdist Homer: The French were fighting the English in the Hundred Years' War, which was then called Operation Speedy Resolution.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Bart: She's talking to her invisible friend. God.
Bart Observational Dark/Subversive God · Lisa as Joan: I have chosen you to lead the French army to victory over the English invaders. But I'm just a little girl. I know. I have three eyes. Now get cracking.
French General: Victory? We're French! We don't even have a word for it!
Bart · Lisa as Joan: Joan, give me your dessert. That's just you, Bart. Joan, give me your dessert! Yes, sir.
Bart: That's going straight to my five thighs.
Bart Absurdist Character Comedy French Soldiers: Huh? No, un. You know, French for 'one.' Well, you keep switching back between French and English. Just fire the damn thing.
French Soldier: My fault this time. I didn't tuck in my legs.
Lisa as Joan: With modern ideas, like putting bigger, harder people in the catapult. Or, how about rocks?
Lou · Eddie: Shouldn't we help her? Yeah, right behind you, Lou.
British Officer: Hello, hello, hello. What's all this then? It's a little bird with a knife, isn't it? What a thing to happen!
Lisa as Joan: You are the true dauphin. You had this impostor try to fool me to see if I was truly sent by God.
King: Bravo, Joan of Arc. You are as brainsome as you are toothsome.
King Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Quimby: Vibrate for me, footstool.
Quimby Absurdist Cringe/Discomfort Lisa as Joan: Uh, God says we should just be friends.
Jester: I wouldn't say King Milhouse is a loser, but that's the 12th girl he's struck out with this week!
Jester Character Comedy Escalation Callback French Soldier: Their concept of individual rights could undermine the power of our beloved tyrants!
Lisa as Joan · English Soldier: I want my mommy! I captured a wee girl! I'm the greatest hero in English history!
English Judge: Wait a minute, you two-timing spot of light. You told me to lead the English to victory!
God: Well, I never thought the two of you would be in the same room, actually. This is a little embarrassing. Goodbye now.
God Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Angry Crowd: Burn this guy! He lost a good bucket!
Lisa as Joan: Huh. Getting kind of hot around here.
Homer: Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc. They got married and lived in a spaceship. The end.
Homer Absurdist Misdirection Lisa: Well, that's easier to chew than that Bambi video.
Lisa Observational Callback Bart: Steven Bochco could kick Shakespeare's ass!
Bart Absurdist Observational Bart · Homer: Cool. Does he get to marry his mom? I don't know, but that would be hot.
Bart as Hamlet · Homer's Ghost: Looks like you've returned from the buffet. Why, you little... D'oh!
Marge as Gertrude: Yeah, that was quite a weekend.
Homer's Ghost: It's cold outside. You'll need a sweater. A sweater!
Comedian: And if your idea of a first date is burning down her village, you just might be a Viking!
Moe as Claudius: Note to self. Kill that kid.
Moe as Claudius · Audience Member: Hey, do you have diarrhea? I have diarrhea. Sit down!
Moe as Claudius: I didn't use that much poi, son, at the royal luau.
Lisa as Ophelia: Well nobody out-crazies Ophelia. Hey, nonny nonny, with a hoo and a haw, and a nonny nonny hey!
Chief Wiggum as Polonius: I hide behind curtains 'cause I have a fear of getting stabbed.
Chief Wiggum as Polonius · Ralph as Laertes: I need you to avenge my death. I like revenging!
Lenny · Carl: If Hamlet touches either of us, he's dead. Booyah!
Moe as Claudius: Boy, did I bet on the wrong horse.
Moe as Claudius: You sure you don't want a nice piece of fish, or to finger the drapes a little?
Moe as Claudius: Remember me as a peacemaker.
Bart as Hamlet: No way I'm cleaning up this mess.
Homer: Son, it's not only a great play, but also became a great movie called Ghostbusters.
Homer Absurdist Misdirection ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — The Simpsons
