Marge swears off befriending any more couples when Homer offends their charming new British neighbors, but when Lisa declares that she, too, doesn’t need friends, Marge reconsiders.
WAR
27
Wins Above Replacement
“Pay Pal” ranks #468 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 73.2 — Solid. The episode packs 58 scored jokes at 3.5 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.2 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Lisa: I'm gonna tell every psychiatrist I ever go to what you did.
Lisa Escalation Character Comedy Marge: Homer, for the last time, do not drink the Yahtzee dice.
Marge Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: couples friends are a myth, started by restaurants with tables for four.
Homer Observational ★ Rewatch Grandpa: I paid a couple of boys, Lenny and Carl, to make my Homer feel loved. A relationship I continued to this day.
Grandpa Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Bart: The saddest thing would be if you were driving and texting Lisa and you hit her. And the last thing she texted before she died was, 'I got your message.'
Bart Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 58 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bart: Mom, it's not funny if I can't hear the cats drown in their own barf.
Bart Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Marge: Why can't kids still watch Captain Kangaroo?!
Marge Observational Character Comedy Lisa: Culture's in decline. Deal with it. Oh!
Lisa Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Maggie: Yay! A mess! Ooh! Can I lick the ceiling?
Maggie Character Comedy Absurdist Marge: Now there's no choice but to go... store-bought.
Marge Character Comedy Escalation Store clerk: I need a price check on Gramma Shortcut's Store-bought Bundt Cake.
Marge Escalation Character Comedy Old store employee: You know, I used to be the buyer for the whole chain-- 71 stores. You heard of the A&P? Well, we used to be the J&G.
Old store employee: There used to be three, but we lost the 'Z'
Homer: If I make out with you, will you shut up?
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Old store employee: Remember green stamps? Ours was gray.
Marge: We must have the same recipe. Drive to store, buy cheap cake, serves them right.
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Booth: game night on Saturday next-- or as you call it, next Saturday.
Booth Character Comedy Observational Booth: or as you call it, Pictionary.
Booth Character Comedy Callback Callback Marge: Homer, for the last time, do not drink the Yahtzee dice.
Marge Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Moving church to Monday afternoon.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Ned: You'll only taste the spoon.
Ned Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Homer: couples friends are a myth, started by restaurants with tables for four.
Homer Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: They're always bragging about their trip to Rome. It was 12 years ago, and it was a layover.
Homer Escalation Observational Lisa: Right now, I'm thinking long novella.
Lisa Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Bart: The saddest thing would be if you were driving and texting Lisa and you hit her. And the last thing she texted before she died was, 'I got your message.'
Bart Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch TV judge: This Taj Mahal should be floated down the Ganges.
Homer: Why was that on the Military History Channel?
Homer Observational Meta/Self-Referential Marge: When you're too quiet, you get that psycho look.
Marge Character Comedy Observational Homer: Walking distance, Marge!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Marge: You were charming enough to win me, and that day you didn't have a drink in you.
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: You know, I have more cheeks.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Foley artist: I believe the mare has a slight limp.
Homer: Uh, it says here the murderer is Admiral Wainsworth. Who's that?
Homer Setup/Punchline Escalation Wallis: Birth, school, work, death. Worth, drool, shirk, breath. Mirth, cruel, quirk, meth.
Wallis Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: Well, as we say in Russia, 'Good-bye in Russian!' Do svidaniya!
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer · Marge: You want to be more alone? Yes.
Homer: Okay, I slept on the couch and I flipped the sweaty cushions over. What else can I do?
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Marge: Don't you dare say 'ostrich eyes'!
Marge Reaction Beat Character Comedy Homer: Those are past-due bills. They'll get their blood money.
Homer Escalation Dark/Subversive Gus: Gus Huebner. I was on Lisa's coed soccer team two years ago.
Gus Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: Well, Lisa's gonna be here in five minutes, and the only kid who showed up is Gus freakin' Huebner.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Gus: I was the only chump who showed up at this train wreck.
Homer: I wish. That kid can play youth soccer.
Teacher: Marge, this is when I normally eat lunch. So I'll just tell you Lisa is... unique. And we're done.
Teacher Deadpan/Understatement Cringe/Discomfort Gym teacher: if you don't find a dance partner within ten seconds, there is something very wrong with you!
Gym teacher: It ain't gym class if a fat kid's not crying.
Lisa: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, yes, yes, yes!
Lisa Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer: Hmm. Nobody likes jazz that much. Even the guy playing it had to take drugs.
Homer Observational Dark/Subversive Homer: Oh, no one likes veggie smoothies that much. Or at all.
Homer Escalation Observational Snake: Don't open the envelope.
Snake Irony/Sarcasm Escalation Tumi: It's for my library card.
Tumi Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Lisa: You couldn't wait a damn decade until I got into college?
Lisa Escalation Character Comedy Grandpa · Bart · Grandpa: Let me tell you a little story about a chubby unpopular boy named Homer. Is that the boy you named me after? It is you, you idiot!
Grandpa: I paid a couple of boys, Lenny and Carl, to make my Homer feel loved. A relationship I continued to this day.
Grandpa Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer · Grandpa: You pay Lenny and Carl to be my friends?! Yes, but Barney's yours for nothing.
Grandpa: I wouldn't pay ten cents to a lion to stop him from eating you!
Lisa: I'm gonna tell every psychiatrist I ever go to what you did.
Lisa Escalation Character Comedy Lisa: Wow, I made Mom cry. What unimaginable power. I can use this to get anything I want. But right now, all I want is for Mom to stop crying.
Lisa Escalation Character Comedy Lisa: But when I grow up, I'll find other weird kids, and we will have the most intense relationships ever.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Homer: Mother's Day?! Mother's Day?! Crap!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Tumi: Have you ever tried horse meat? They eat it raw in Japan, and...
Tumi Escalation Dark/Subversive Top Episodes — The Simpsons
