Nancy Donovan

Nancy:But not your hair. It's like a shag carpet. I wanna sit on it and play a board game.

Liz · Nancy:I was John Proctor in The Crucible. [Oh, you went to an all-girls' school?] No.

Nancy:We were all jealous of Lisa Alberson 'cause she got to play his horse.

Nancy · Jack:Remember those guys used to hang out by the cash register and mooch? He was a moocher.

Nancy · Jack:Nancy accuses Jack of being a moocher; he starts to deny it, she doubles down: 'He was a moocher.'

Nancy:I can't believe you're not married. I thought you'd have some hotshot young wife with black hair who says queer stuff like 'dressing on the side.'

Nancy · Jack:Was she a bitch or did you cheat? [The former.] The former? What are you, a newscaster?

Jack · Nancy:Whatever happened to your Boston accent? [Boston accent] You're a liar, Nancy Donovan. I never had a Boston accent.

Nancy:They have their heart set on the ESPN Zone. They've been talking about the Hideki Matsui Caliente Fajitas all week.

Nancy · Jack:I'm glad we never made out in high school. Otherwise this whole thing would be so awkward. [Excuse me, we kissed every night on stage in Hey, Beantown.]

Nancy · Jack:Oh, that doesn't count. There wasn't even any tongue. But only because my mother told me that French kissing was for the Italians. They do love it.

Nancy · Jack:And you know how hard it is to get teenagers out of bed in the morning. Yes, but not in the way you're talking about.

Nancy:I'll hit ya on YouFace. But you gotta promise me to finger tag me back.

Nancy:Hey, Jack. My train got cancelled. I spent all day at Penn Station trying to get out. Figured I should finally take the hint and meet ya for that drink.

Nancy:Nancy bursts in: 'It's done, Jack. I'm divorced! Ruh-ro!'

Kenneth · Nancy:Kenneth asks Nancy: 'Have we met before?' / Nancy: 'You shut your mouth!'

Nancy:Nancy gives Jack Schwitzer's Saltwater Taffy: 'I didn't have the heart to tell Mrs. Schwitzer that you've moved to New York, so I told her you were in jail for manslaughter.'

Nancy · Jack:The taffy flavor Jack and Nancy invented: 'Peanut Butter and Miller High Life'

Nancy:Nancy, sitting on the hotel bed: 'Is it really better than me?'

Jack · Nancy:Jack: 'It's not better. It's different. There's no way of knowing at this point which is better.' / Nancy: 'What? You're a wackadoo, Donaghy.'

Nancy · Jack:'Wow, you look like Mr. Monopoly.' / 'And you look like you won second prize in a beauty contest... Collect $10.'

Nancy:Nancy's minibar frugality: 'Oh, no, are you kidding me? At those prices?' — produces wine left over from her Amtrak ride

Nancy:Nancy's romantic request: 'can we wait until the morning to fool around? 'Cause I'm exhausted, and I got the night bloats.'

Nancy · Jack:Nancy: 'There's a Lee Marvin marathon on Turner Classics.' / Jack: 'I thought you said this wasn't going to be sexual.'

Nancy:Nancy to Liz: 'Hey, Liz, how'd it go with the guys at dodgeball? You let one in? Into your heart, I mean. God.'

Nancy:Nancy proposes she come back: 'I cook you a pot roast, we drink too much wine, and see how it goes?'

Nancy:Way better than the Indian joint I go to in Boston. O'Doyle's.

Nancy:Worms can do it with any other worm.

Nancy · Jack:Besides my ex-husband, you're the only other man I've slept with. Two men? That can't be true.

Nancy:After my divorce, I went out with my girlfriends, and I danced with a guy. Also, it was after midnight on a Saturday. So technically, it was a Sunday. A man had his hands on my hips on a day that was set aside for the Lord.

Jack · Nancy:Nothing like being in church, having spent the night doing a bunch of bad crap. Am I right? Yes.

Jack Donaghy · Nancy:You look amazing in that dress. / You look like a gay mortician in that suit.

Nancy:You're like that Mormon guy on HBO who was in that tornado movie. The one with the girl with the forehead who was married to that Jewish guy.

Nancy:What? I'm a mom. Give me a break.

Nancy:Tickle each other like teletubbies. That's how I used to explain it to my kids when they walked in on us.

Nancy:Two spider-mans fighting, and sometimes they make weird noises, but they're not hurting each other.

Jack Donaghy · Nancy:How often did they walk in on you? / A lot.

Nancy:The usual ladies' room nonsense. Girl with boyfriend troubles. Someone forgot tampons. Everybody's bad at science and math.

Nancy:And by the way, when I blew your mind last night, I was giving it about 50%.

Jack Donaghy · Nancy · Elisa:Nancy: 'What you're proposing is a sin, Jack, but she is wicked hot.' / Elisa: 'It would have to be a conjugal visit because I am in a Puerto Rican jail.'

Jack Donaghy · Nancy:Jack: 'And I got rid of their accents.' / Nancy: 'Jack, porking in that prison basement was wicked awesome.'

Jack Donaghy · Nancy · Elisa:Jack's fantasy: 'Nancy, I know this is unconventional, but I think a group relationship could work.' / 'What you're proposing is a sin, Jack, but she is wicked hot.' / 'It would have to be a conjugal visit because I am in a Puerto Rican jail.'

Nancy:Jack's fantasy sex swirl with Nancy and Elisa: 'Oh, Jack, porking in that prison basement was wicked awesome.'