Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land

Cramer's been dead for six months.

The Astors, the Rockefellers, the Sbarros...

You think I don't want to know what Pizzarina Sbarro is going to be wearing?

I'm on Dodecacil, the pill where you only get your period once a year. We're so close to beating that thing completely.

I promise you, this weekend will be filled with staring out windows while holding a glass of Scotch.

What's that supposed to mean, you dumb douche? Oh, it's starting.

Aloha means hello and goodbye. So, aloha.

We'll just do it together on that tour boat that's painted like a shark.

But I would still like two meals.

God, three weddings in one day. I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is going to get infected again.

I will rent a car, set it on fire, and drive it off a waterfall.

He's gay. But not when he's drunk.

Sexual time travel, just like my Cinemax softcore Emmanuelle Goes to Dinosaur Land.

Meet me in the handicapped stall in 10 seconds.

Yeah, I saw this gorgeous woman putting glasses on her daughter's Mrs. Potato Head. The why is not important.

Oh, my hooks. I'm just so comfortable with them that I... Whoops.

That was my last ungashed painting.

So I waved from the helicopter, which, it turns out, is a big no-no.

And it turns out the person I was waving to was not my old football coach. Of course not. You were in Zimbabwe. Well, it looked just like a black version of him.

I've got my hooks crossed.

Now, who's the dumb one? Ugh.

It's a pun. Because cats' paws have grooves.

And they're paying me exactly one million teachers' salaries.

You say things like 'You don't know my pain,' and 'You watch your mouth, Tyrese,' and, in a less dramatic scene, 'I'll have hash browns.'

It's either this or I submit that animated film I drew about the Holocaust.

First, we're going to see a documentary about female circumcision, and then we're going to eat too much Indian food.

Sometimes, the right thing and the hard thing are the same thing. I read that on a teabag.

You know what? Sometimes, I think... That's great. 'You know what? Sometimes, I think...' That's really annoying. I'm going to use that.

I remember being born, of course. I remember learning how to ride a bike. But that was last year.

I remember the summer my Webelos group went camping, and we were taken by the Hill People. Next thing I knew, summer was over and it was time for back to school shopping.

No, I don't. I was on a yacht with the Roots last week.

I've got a personalized vibration for each chick I used to put it to.

No, no, no, Jose. Only babies out here. Don't you want to be a big boy?

What was the one mistake those people in Denver made? One mistake? Yeah, there was no kid in the balloon.

This is a public park named after Ron Artest.

Way better than the Indian joint I go to in Boston. O'Doyle's.

A warm glass of milk and some John Phillip Sousa marches.

No! [Liz's horrified reaction to seeing Wesley]

Stop doing that. You look idiotic. Of course I do. Excellent pantomime is supposed to look idiotic.

The only thing wrong with me is that you hate me. So with that as my only defect, where do I rank with all the other men that you've been with?

How can something that animals do be a big deal? Worms can do it with any other worm.

Also, it was after midnight on a Saturday. So technically, it was a Sunday. A man had his hands on my hips on a day that was set aside for the Lord.

Man, Catholic guilt. Am I right? [Jack's awkward silence response]

I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs. I watched a prostitute stab a clown.

Our basketball hoop was a ribcage. A ribcage!

Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish!

Nancy is a fiery, Irish nut job, descended from bog people.

We're like Russ and Rebecca on Chums.

Did you see the Beijing opening ceremonies? We don't have control over our people like that.

Nermal, I hate you, Nermal! Almost as much as I hate Mondays! This is my lasagna! You hear me, Nermal? My lasagna!

A crack-head breastfeeding a rat. A homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket on the third rail of the G train. The G train, Nermal!

I'm a plushie. Is that a fraternity? Kind of. It means I belong to a group of like-minded people who dress up in mascot costumes. And have orgies in hotel rooms and state parks.

Our term for intercourse is 'yiffing'.

Speaking of which, I'm seeing someone else, and I think I'm in love with both of you.

You can't leave, Donovan. We're in the middle of Mass. You and I both know you have to stay until the final blessing.

But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground.

Then, Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son's foreskin. Oh come on, Bible. Help a lady out.

I seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom!

I once bit into a Merino and there was a child's shoe in it!

A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy's!

The projects I lived in was named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time!

The sewer people stole my skateboard!

I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!