Avery Jessup

Avery:And the food in his beard tells us that he purchased a snack pack on the train from New Haven.

Avery:Just sit a couple out, Stein, god.

Avery:It's 3:30 in the morning in Geneva, Jack. Who's your call with? The hooker working the corner outside Raiffeisenbank?

Avery:Look, despite what happened in the shower last night, I'm a pretty traditional girl.

Avery:I'll tell him it's a guy I'm having sex with

Avery:Do you think it was easy for me to cut ties from my old mentor, Pat O'Brien, after he shaved his moustache?

Avery:Do you think it was easy for me to cut ties from my old mentor, Pat O'Brien, after he shaved his moustache?

Avery:According to my sources, the clear frontrunner current G.E. executive, Jack Donaghy... with the programming experience, business savvy, and piercing, blue eyes of a Siberian husky

Avery:I'm going to celebrate by buying my lady friend that necklace she pointed out and then, cooking her a Western omelette

Avery:Think slutty Grace Kelly.

Avery:Money bunny Avery Jessup steps out with sexecutive Jack Donaghy.

Avery:The sportscaster who bites ladies.

Avery:Don't ask how I got them. But I do know the access code to his pyramid.

Avery:That is a swing.

Avery:But these tactics have worked on stupider women.

Avery:You think I don't want to know what Pizzarina Sbarro is going to be wearing?

Avery:I'm on Dodecacil, the pill where you only get your period once a year. We're so close to beating that thing completely.

Avery:What's that supposed to mean, you dumb douche? Oh, it's starting.

Avery:Aloha means hello and goodbye. So, aloha.

Avery:Does the 'o' have it? 'o,' we do. Do you 'o'? 'o,' no? Let go. 'o.'

Avery:Is their gay juice in the champagne?

Avery:I wipe the floor with that bitch.

Avery:I wipe the floor with that bitch.

Avery:That Russian skank read the ultrasound wrong.

Avery:So she can ride the maid! It is adorable.

Avery:Lemon went to middle school with a Charlotte who used to rub herself against a tree during recess.

Avery:Maybe you and Liz can raise it.

Avery:Crazy hormone swing.

Avery:Why does everything smell like onions?

Avery:That's why I like dating older men. Their parents are usually dead or senile, so there's never an argument about the holidays.

Milton · Avery · Jack:By the way, we have a tradition in my family where we let the child name itself. Oh, yeah, that's hippie nonsense. Absolutely not. Well, suit yourself, but my son Spider-Man turned out just fine.

Avery:My gift to you is the feeling of superiority you'll have for the next two seconds.

Avery:Because, you know, when you're pregnant, one bottle of wine a day, and that's it.

Avery:To what, Jack? Be a mouthpiece for Federalism and then die in a duel against someone named Aaron? Is that what you want our daughter to be? A big government duel loser?

Avery:I'm still in Girl Scouts. I have 9,000 badges.

Avery · Jack:Who's ready for Skype sex? No, no, no. This is the Liddy call.

Avery:I don't know why our daughter would be afraid of Reagan.

Avery:You people have too much money.

Avery · Jack:Do you want to watch me eat jelly beans... real slow? Yes.

Avery:I told them it was my razor. I have to shave my legs with it, but they have an app for that.

Avery:Did you also call Sally Ride and her sister?

Avery:I'm sorry I taste like Korean cigarettes. Tobacco's the only thing with protein over there. Their meat is just deflated kickballs.

Avery:I heard her ask her bear who the dye job is.

Avery:Kim Jong-Il could not be reached for comment because he was having a totally normal day being alive and not dead.

Avery:I thought I was playing you, and you were playing me the whole time. And in 24 hours, I got you to tell me things it would have taken you years to admit.

Avery:I was living in an exact replica of Cinderella's castle that Kim Jong-Un had built for his shoe collection.

Avery:I kept my sea monkeys alive for 30 years.

Avery:I mean, if we wanted this thing to succeed, why would we ask Liz to officiate?