Everything Sunny All The Time Always

Jack:Lullaby lyrics: 'Hush, island baby / Tomorrow you'll shuck the cane / Your little fingers bloody / Prepare to be whipped'

Jack:Jack says 'Dr. Kevorkian says we have to put her down' — referring to his pediatrician

Jack:'Babynomics at 11:00' — Jack's daughter's scheduled class

Liz · Jenna:Liz mistakes Tracy's urine for soda left behind in his apartment

Liz:'Someday this place is gonna be a kick-ass duplex, like on Diff'rent Strokes. Conrad Bain once slapped me in a men's room.'

Liz:Liz finds a half-finished Spanish study guide: 'Comencé a estudiar these, but then yo gave up.'

Liz:Liz finds her unfinished novel. First line: 'Liz stabbed Jenna repeatedly.'

Jenna:Jenna claims The Secret caused Gwyneth Paltrow to sing flat at the Oscars: 'I visualized all of that.'

Jenna · Liz:Jenna mishears 'taking action' as a reference to the drug 'Action': 'It dries your mouth out, but the sex is amazing.'

Liz:'I always think of a third thing when I'm listing stuff.'

Liz · Jenna:Liz notices she has a Post-it on her sweater — implying she's so disorganized she's been walking around with a reminder note stuck to herself

Jenna:Jenna demonstrates her Secret-powered Spanish fluency by threatening her housekeeper: 'Rosa, I know you stole my necklace. I'll have your son deported. Oh, wait. I found my necklace. Oh, boy.'

Jenna:Jenna claims she used The Secret to learn Spanish; her demonstration is threatening her housekeeper Rosa with deportation over a necklace, then immediately retracting it

Liz · Jack:Liz introduces her life philosophy: 'Lizbeanism' — 'I'm Liz, and obviously, my philosophy is simple, like a bean.'

Liz · Jack:Liz announces 'Lizbeanism means that I am a dike...' — long pause — '...against the rising waters of mediocrity.'

Jack · Liz:Jack, after Liz's big speech about taking control: 'I'm going to give you...' [long pause] '...one of my neckties.'

Liz · Jack:Jack recites Invictus inspirationally, then Liz asks: 'Wait, who was the white guy in that?' — referring to the film Invictus

Jack:Jack describes the privileges of success: 'having people pay you for the privilege of cutting your hair'

Liz · Jack:Liz: 'You're raising a child?' Jack: 'Come on. I think Avery is probably doing that.'

Jack · Liz:Liz invokes The Secret sarcastically; Jack: 'I wish Liz Lemon would leave so I could go back to work.' Liz is immediately dragged out by an unseen force, screaming.

Kenneth · Tracy:'I think I speak for all of us when I say how thrilled we... / Great impression of a guy that sucks, Dotcom!'

Dotcom · Grizz · Kenneth:'Smooth move, Ferguson' — an inside joke from the entourage that Tracy doesn't understand

Grizz · Dotcom · Kenneth · Tracy:'Smooth move, Ferguson.' [Grizz, Dotcom, and Kenneth burst out laughing; Tracy has no idea what this means]

Tracy:Tracy: 'You three are not allowed to have inside jokes that I'm not a part of. I could have inside jokes that you're not a part of, for example, "Hot feet" or "Ask Melissa about it."'

Tracy:Tracy forbids 'Smooth move, Ferguson': 'it is not funny to me, so it is forbidden'

Grizz:Grizz's DVD review: 'You wouldn't expect a movie called "Somewhere" to go absolutely nowhere.'

Liz:Musical interlude: 'Sometimes we use a song to move a story along / And explain it to you / 'Cause Liz is taking charge...'

Liz · Tony:City worker: 'If you're not in the building, I don't have to talk to you.' — Liz shouts from outside about the bag in a tree

Jack · Avery:Avery video-calls expecting Skype sex; Jack is using the same device for the baby's FaceTime with mommy

Sherry:'You people have too much money.' — Sherry's reaction to the multiple video screens

Jack · Sherry:Jack insists he doesn't know why Liddy would be afraid of Reagan, then defensively asks: 'Are you accusing me of not doing enough Reagan time with her?'

Avery · Jack:Avery: 'Do you want to watch me eat jelly beans... real slow?' Jack: 'Yes.'

Tracy:Tracy catches his entourage saying 'Smooth move, Ferguson' behind his back — having hidden to spy on them

Tracy · Dotcom · Grizz:The explanation of 'Smooth move, Ferguson': 'the delivery guy tripped, and then Mr. Griswald said, "Smooth move, Ferguson."' Tracy: 'That story is not funny.'

Tracy:Tracy's solution: 'We are going to re-create all the events surrounding "Smooth move, Ferguson" exactly as they occurred. Maybe then we can get on with our lives.'

Jonathan:Jonathan: 'Sir, you need to see this, even if it ruins whatever you had planned for Secretary's Day, like a poem you wrote for me or whatever.'

Kim Jong-il:Kim Jong-il's pre-taped statement: 'world's greatest golfer and movie director and best man at Tom Brady's wedding'

Kim Jong-il:Kim Jong-il: 'the decadent Western journalist spy Laura Ling left us because she can't party as hard as we can'

Kim Jong-il:Kim Jong-il and aide: 'I know, right? / I know, right?' — North Korean response to the party claim

Kim Jong-il:Kim Jong-il: North Korea is 'awesome and we have enough food'

Kim Jong-il:Kim Jong-il: 'Her name is Avery Jessup, and, like me, her hair is blond!'

Jack · Jonathan:Jack upon learning Avery is detained: 'I told her to stay. I didn't want her at home. This is my fault.' Jonathan: 'Sir, if you say one more syllable, that's a haiku.'

News Anchor:The news anchor pivots from Avery's kidnapping to: 'But first, it's never too early to plan your dog's Halloween costume.'

Liz · Passerby:Liz arrives at City Hall and is immediately warned: 'Don't go in there! Run, citizen!'

Liz · Jack:Liz interrupts Jack's Kim Jong-il crisis to ask for help with a bag stuck in a tree. Jack treats both problems as equally serious.

Liz:Liz interrupts Jack's international kidnapping crisis with: 'Jack, I have a bag stuck in a tree outside my apartment'

North Korean Anchor:North Korean news: 'And in food news, you've had enough to eat today. Now here with the weather is Johnny Mountain.'

Johnny Mountain:North Korean weather report: 'North Korea, everything sunny all the time always! Good time beach party! Back to you, Alereeb!'

Liz:Liz: 'What? Why? Is she a spy? Oh, my God, I already know too much!'

Jack:Avery can't accept Bill Clinton's help 'because she can't forgive him for not hitting on her during the 1996 Democratic Convention. She's much too thin.'

Jack · Liz:Jack broke up with Condoleezza Rice via text: 'Me plus you equals frowny face.'

Kenneth · Tracy:Kenneth reports logistics obstacles: 'Dotcom licks the subway steps.' Tracy: 'These are solvable problems.'

Tracy · Jenna:Jenna's hair re-growth for the re-creation: 'J-Mo, how long would it take for your hair to grow back?' / 'It depends. Do you have access to horse semen?' / 'You know I do.'

Tracy:Tracy: 'Then, we'll reconvene in three weeks! Meeting is adjourned! Oh, my God! What happened to my bug?'

Liz:Liz: 'Stupid grappling hook! Can't catch one little bag?'

Liz · Mr. Bag:Liz argues with the bag: 'You will not win, Mr. Bag!' The bag responds: 'But, Liz, I already have.'

Mr. Bag:The bag monologue: 'No human is truly the master of his fate... I'm reminding you of your mortality... the wind rustling against my genitals. That's right, bags have genitals. You don't know me.'

Mr. Bag:The bag: 'Go ahead, buy nesting tables. Paint an accent wall. I'll watch the EMTs take you out in my cousin, a body bag.'

Tracy:Tracy, directing the re-creation: 'Was Dotcom standing that gay? No, sir, he was not.'

Tracy · Dotcom:Tracy recognizes Kim Jong-il: 'Hey, what's my boy KJ doing on TV?' / 'That's Kim Jong-il.' / 'Yeah. We did a movie together that he directed and co-starred in.'

Tracy · Kim Jong-il:Clip from Tracy and Kim Jong-il's propaganda film: 'Death to the CIA! Let us all increase production of millet and sunflowers! I defuse bomb, black partner. Hasta la vista, baby.'

Tracy:Tracy: 'It was either that or play a rapping doorman in a Kate Hudson movie.' — explaining why he did the North Korean propaganda film

Tracy:The re-creation works perfectly and Tracy laughs: 'I get it now! It's so funny! Everyone, laugh! Now, you sons of bitches!'

Tracy · Jack:Tracy briefs Jack on Kim Jong-il: 'Kim Jong-il sometimes shoots in the closeup too much. Comedy lives in the wide shot. And also... his acting notes are often vague.'

Jack:'We do a lot of pirate-themed sexual role-play. I'm a parrot.'

Jack · Avery:Avery concludes 'capitalism may be flawed.' Jack: 'My God! What are those monsters doing to her?'

Condi Rice · Jack:Condi Rice to Jack: 'You know, I've been to the DMZ. They have signs. Can your wife not read?'

Condi Rice:Condi's jealous interrogation: 'Is she funnier than I am? She's certainly not younger, is she?'

Jack:Jack's list of apologies to Condi includes: 'I went drinking with Karl Rove on Valentine's Day' and 'I said your favorite movie was lame. "Mars Attacks!" is awesome!'

Condi Rice · Jack:Condi and Jack's piano/flute grudge match: 'Now, admit that I'm better at the piano than you are at the flute.' / 'Never!' — followed by an actual musical duel

Jack:Jack: 'Follow this, you turkey!' [during musical duel]

Condi Rice · Jack:Post-duel: Condi concedes Jack is better at piano. 'Now, get out of here before this gets weird.' / Jack: 'You're the turkey.'

Liz:Liz: 'You will eat your family!' — to the bag she's planning to fill with other bags

Cop:Cop threatens to tase Liz: 'Don't think I won't taser you, all right? I got OCD, and I love doing paperwork.'

Avery:Avery: 'Nobody here's ever seen an iPhone. I told them it was my razor. I have to shave my legs with it, but they have an app for that.'

Avery:Avery: 'That pansy Harry Truman for not taking down this country when he had the chance.'

Avery:Avery: 'They actually love me here. I already won a North Korean Emmy.'

Avery:Avery: 'Did you also call Sally Ride and her sister?' — jealous that Jack called Condi

Jack:Jack: 'I'm sure her battery died right after I finished that speech, just like I wanted it to.' Then someone says 'Smooth move, Ferguson!' in the background.

Tracy:Tracy's breakdown: 'I came back, and you were fine without me. You laughed without me! And that was our special thing.'

Kenneth · Mr. Slattery:Kenneth defends the inside joke: 'Smooth move Ferguson was just trying to fill a void because Mr. Slattery's political cartoons weren't cutting it.' Kenneth: 'I can't draw hands.'

Tracy · Dotcom · Grizz · Kenneth:'Never go away again.' Tracy: 'Don't ever tell me what to do! Quad hug, me in the middle!'

Liz:Liz misquotes Invictus: 'No matter how much the gate is strait / or who punishes the scrolls, / I am the captain of my holes. Or whatever.'

Jack:Jack: 'Condi tried, but Avery plus freedom equals... frowny face.'

Jack · Liz:Final twist: Avery is now married to Kim Jong-un. 'Avery is now married to Kim Jong-il's son, Kim Jong-un.'

Liz · Mr. Bag:Liz's reaction to the Avery news: 'No!' / Bag appears in the tree behind her: 'Mortality!'

Unknown:Final 'Smooth move, Ferguson' callback — said in response to Jack's devastating news

Multiple Characters:End scene: 'Put that coffee down. Coffee's for closers only...' — characters perform scenes from Glengarry Glen Ross, Ghostbusters, Star Wars