Walter 'Dot Com' Slattery

Want to go to Vegas and buy a bunch of sarcophagi? / Nah. I don't even use the ones I have.

Lincoln was a Republican? / Actually, today's Republican party would be unrecognizable to Lincoln.

Dotcom, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is... off-putting. / I guess that's why I'm still single.

You get the tattoo... but when you hit the clubs you draw a mane around the face with a marker and make it look like a lion named... Tangiers.

The Moroccan national soccer team is the Lions. Tangiers is in Morocco. So, yeah, I guess I'm an idiot.

You humiliate Tracy in front of everybody like that, You give him two choices... one, he won't show up tomorrow, And you'll look like a fool in front of your crew. Or two, he will show up... and he'll find an even worse way to act out.

i was trigorin in the seagull On the wesleyan artspace mainstage

The great uta hagen once said... is why i'd like to audition for tgs

Walter, you idiot. you lost a card.

i thank you for treating my requests with respect

growing up in bed-stuy, there was a certain music To the way people talked. 'hey, papi Whatchoo doin'?' I'm sorry, can i start over? Someone really messed with my head right before i came on

but george eliot was a woman.

You say things like 'You don't know my pain,' and 'You watch your mouth, Tyrese,' and, in a less dramatic scene, 'I'll have hash browns.'

That's Tracy Jordan spelled backwards.

Call Grizz. I need someone around who's not just a yes man. Whatever you say, Tray.

What if there was a talking dog? I'd like to see that incorporated into your rewrite.

It was Angels in America, Tray!

Or perform his husband bedroom duties... for instance, painting the bedroom?

because Al Sharpton doesn't have an office.

"Give to charity please, no presents"? No, Dotcom! I said, "give to charity? Please, no. Presents!"

You already have everything. I mean, you just bought Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's bones, and he's not even dead.

Midnight symphony. You are the conductor of your own proud African orchestra.

Really, Dotcom? How did your city council campaign go? Well, as far as raising the level of discourse in this city? I'd say it was a great success.

All My Children... was cancelled.

Okay, I hear it!

It's an honor to finally meet you, Questlove. / Tracy, this is Dr. Cornel West.

I read the one about a handsome genius who lied to two idiots about reading scripts.

Dammit-I'll-Pick-A-Name-Later Dotcom Productions.

He promised me he'd always be there for me, no matter what! - Sometimes things change. - And yet you still say stupid stuff to me all the time and suck at carrying boxes!

When I went up to Ken's office earlier, I saw his schedule on his assistant's pornography box! - You mean computer?

Unless you need us to hate the new Taylor swift album. That girl has feelings. - You're wrong, Dotcom!