What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?

Hey! You didn't whisper in my ear and kiss me to wake me up like you always do. / I've never done that.

You named your van after the guy from Dawson's Creek? / I've seen everything he's ever been in except for that.

We don't need a nursery now. And who knows if we'll ever even have a... Plant or whatever?

Hey! I don't bail. I am still watching Smash, Criss.

I mean, the people there can be a little sexually conservative for my tastes.

Gonna move to the bay area now, pretend that that was your dream the whole time? Have fun always carrying a light sweater.

I look forward to reading your obituary, 'Least famous person in the world dies.'

Yes, I married Becky and Dee because love is love and there's no reason they shouldn't experience the joy of marriage like any other couple. / I'm not going to the container store.

Congratulations. You just turned into your father.

What Bill O'Reilly erotic novel are you living in?

I suppose our situation is most reminiscent of 'The Commodore's lust' from the 'Patriot's after dark' series.

And I'm gonna throw that thing in front of a train. Go Phillies!

Skinny arm-havers!

Stop, drop, and roll! Let me out! Let me out!

Did they say when the banquet is? Because I'm kind of between tuxes due to weight fluctuation.

For instance, in Pixar's upcoming movie about trash, I'm doing the voice of a lazy bottle of grape-flavored soda named Funky Bobo.

Okay, I hear it!

I was living in an exact replica of Cinderella's castle that Kim Jong-Un had built for his shoe collection.

And I know a little bit about suffering because I work out... A lot!

It's a code!

Oh, God, I had so many husbands.

Well, where will you sit patiently in the dark while you wait for the next day to start? I mean, sleep?

Have a good day, Doris. / [High-pitched] 'You have a good day too, Kenneth.' / Whatever, Doris. Grow up.

I don't mean it, I nice it.

You love wet feet?

Check out Kim Jong-Un's pants. Where's the flood?

♪ My soil's pretty good so I will plant this seed ♪ ... ♪ Growing together ♪ ♪ Planty and me ♪

[Shouting in Hebrew]

I had no idea the shmuley Israel memorial parade was a predominantly Jewish event.

You know what kind of women in their 40s have never been married, Liz? Uggos, crazies, and bailers. You're not an uggo.

[Gasps, snorts, groans] / Doris! / Wonderful. See you tonight, roomie.

I'd admire you if you weren't brunette.

I'm a natural blonde. / That's insane!

Stop looking at my ass. / Stop pointing your ass at my eyeballs.

It's an honor to finally meet you, Questlove. / Tracy, this is Dr. Cornel West.

Look, I don't wanna make us look bad, but these dumb white writers don't know how us soul cats speak, one 'twixt the other.

Who were your black role models growing up? / Darth Vader, ninjas, some black licorice I tried to make into the shape of my dad.

Under my own nose. Like a mustache. A mustache. Tom Selleck!

One day we made love while tapping. It was beautiful. No butt stuff.

Jack and Diana... Avery! Avery and Diana... Damn it! Jack and Nancy.

Kim Jong-Il is dead. I'm only waiter. I'm greatest waiter of all time.

He said that to me in Galveston when a busload of drunk debutantes tried to get on his boat. It was named 'Mr. water boat.' Did it sink? Yes. Because there were too many people on it.

Oh, are you talking about Hazel or the raccoon that won't let me into my kitchen?

And to think I thought Hazel was a bitch! / Friendly and loyal like a well-trained female dog. But she isn't a bitch. She's a meaniepants.

A guy with two first names? Next.

I'm not talking about her. I'm talking about me looking funny in this reflection. I'm gonna do a movie where I play someone's fat old aunt and I say stuff like, 'whoo-wee!' And 'sweet child, sit yo' black ass down!'

Why didn't you take out the cameras and kill all the witnesses, you beautiful bastard?

You can't go to prison, you idiot. They will ravage you and your beautiful woman face.

I didn't Rob a bank, Liz. God! No, I sold the van this morning... To a really nice young guy on Meth.

I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over.

Have you ever had a girlfriend willing to Thelma and Louise with you? / No. Never. But come on, Bonnie and Clyde. Okay, I'm a boy. I'm a boy, Liz.

Also, I hear Pippa Middleton couldn't come today because Avery was borrowing her ass.

I just want alereeb to be happy.

Are you people kidding me? Seriously, no one has anything to say? You're all cowards.

I played Avery Jessup in 'Kidnapped by danger,' now available on Sega Genesis.

I kept my sea monkeys alive for 30 years.

I mean, if we wanted this thing to succeed, why would we ask Liz to officiate?

[Laughing] Yeah! Divorce! Whoo!

It started that way. But then I fell in love with you.

Don't you ever do that again. / [Both moaning]

You said, 'baby,' instead of 'plant.' Now say, 'man cave.' / Never!

Because we are thinking about having a baby... Together... That will emerge from my vagina. / Or a Chinese vagina.

But any child would be lucky to have you be the mother it loves then hates for a few years, then loves again, then half-heartedly defends to its spouse, then puts in a home.

Number one, don't overthink the names. Stick to Kings and Queens of England. There will never be a president Ashton or a Dr. Katniss. Or a non-sexually confused Lorne.

All I want is Jack and Liz get together. On Friends, it was so satisfying. They do on Cheers, they do on Moonlighting. Everybody do it! Don't overthink it, writers. Whoever you are.