Avery finally returns home from her kidnapping ordeal in North Korea, yet Jack grows uncertain of her fidelity while she was away. Elsewhere, Criss is crossed due to Liz's role as top wage earner, and Jenna seeks a sponsor for her approaching nuptials.
Avery's return fuels 69 jokes in 42 minutes, hitting escalation peaks mid-episode.
Directed by John Riggi · Written by Josh Siegal, Dylan Morgan
WAR
73.5
Wins Above Replacement
“The Return Of Avery Jessup” ranks #81 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 84.2 — Elite. The episode packs 69 scored jokes at 2.7 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Criss landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Kenneth: Ms. Maroney, a wedding is a simple and beautiful ceremony where an old man and a crying girl get pushed into the coupling shed.
Kenneth Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Criss: Only because liking the Crisspoints system is one of the ways I earn Crisspoints!
Criss Escalation Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Callback Jenna: My outside is shiny and pretty, but my inside is filled with cardboard and horse glue.
Jenna Character Comedy Callback Jack: There is an iPod 3 and a Mitt Romney 4. They worked all the bugs out. He's not killing hobos at night any more.
Jack Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Tracy: I know the Southern Tourism Bureau. They pay me a yearly stipend to stay in New York.
Tracy Misdirection Character Comedy All Jokes — 69 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Avery: I'm sorry I taste like Korean cigarettes. Tobacco's the only thing with protein over there. Their meat is just deflated kickballs.
Avery Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch News Anchor: America's credit rating was downgraded to triple fart-minus
Jack · Scott: Scott Scottsman
Scott: My ears are all plugged up from the plane. Am I talking too loud?
Scott Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Johnny Mountain: And it's me, Johnny Mountain, with the weather on the one and the traffic on the one. You no ask how I do it.
Scott: And I'm Scott Scottsman... Reminding all of you there is no weekend.
Scott Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Criss: Or the plant. It's your body.
Criss Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Liz: Right. Well, if I did ever have a... plant with you or whatever... I mean, at my age, we might have to get an Asian plant or accept an older plant with some behavioral issues, and we're a little afraid of it...
Liz Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Liz: I mean, that plant's not coming out of your butt, pal, it's coming out of mine.
Liz Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Criss: The walls are filled with electrocuted mice.
Criss Dark/Subversive Visual Gag Liz: Well, I could dip into my 401K... Is something I've heard old people say in commercials.
Liz Misdirection Observational Criss: If you take my profits from the hot dog truck and add 'em to the $300 my aunt gave me for Christmas, I'd have $200.
Criss Character Comedy Observational Liz · Criss: Boy, I sound just like my dad. Which, I guess, makes me Mrs. Lemon. Seriously, though, I gotta get to work. I gotta get to yoga and lunch with the girls.
Tracy: I don't know. There was a lot of Fanta there, and the police, so maybe they co-sponsored it?
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Kenneth: Ms. Maroney, a wedding is a simple and beautiful ceremony where an old man and a crying girl get pushed into the coupling shed.
Kenneth Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: I know the Southern Tourism Bureau. They pay me a yearly stipend to stay in New York.
Tracy Misdirection Character Comedy Jenna: Which is great 'cause our wedding was gonna be slavery-themed anyway.
Jenna Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Jenna: Of course I am. I have a natural Southern accent, 'cause I'm from le flori-dah pahn-hahndle.
Jenna Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Kenneth: Before moving here, I done used to talk-n-jaw like this, see? And when I'm at work, I use my white-people voice. You should see how we talk in the Bronx. Raar blarg shmoo-boo wagga!
Avery: I heard her ask her bear who the dye job is.
Avery Character Comedy Observational Jack: There is an iPod 3 and a Mitt Romney 4. They worked all the bugs out. He's not killing hobos at night any more.
Jack Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Jack: And tomorrow, I am going to throw you a Thanks-Christmas-Valen-Easter-Ween of July party.
Jack Wordplay/Pun Escalation Jack: I didn't wear your nightgowns. If they seem stretched out, it's because you're remembering wrong.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jenna: I've been writing a sex column for Cosmo. Cosmo is my 14-year-old neighbor. He doesn't know anything.
Jenna Misdirection Cringe/Discomfort Jenna: Sex, money, power, fire, choking, being dragged behind a speed boat... It's all the same thing.
Jenna: And I try to get him pregnant.
Jenna Absurdist Character Comedy Jenna: And the best part is, if I want to treat myself to a new pair of Christy LaButtons, I don't have to ask any man for $17.
Jenna Character Comedy Observational Jenna: I got tired of ruining $1,200 shoes trying to impregnate my boyfriend.
Jenna Absurdist Callback Callback Jenna: Feminism promised us two things... Fatter dolls, and an end to traditional gender roles.
Jenna Observational Misdirection Jenna: You wear the pants, Liz. You don't necessarily pull them off because of your hips, but you wear them.
Jenna Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Liz: Am I supposed to just scratch the surface of Channing Tatum's meteoric rise?
Liz Observational Character Comedy Jack: She's still furious with Al Gore for stealing George Bush's idea to have an Internet.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist Jack mimicking Kim Jong-Un: I have so many missile! I even have nuclear missile. Just for you, sugarprong.
Liz: You French-Canadian kissed her mother, which is my name for French kissing when it bums everybody else out.
Liz Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Jack: Playing psycho-sexual mind games is our normal, Lemon. This is perfect. Everything's perfect.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Jenna: Dadgum possum up and what been bit my mother's neck brace.
Jenna Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Commercial Director: This isn't Southern elegance. This is a dirtbag girl I once knew. A girl named Jay-nuh! She used to get into fistfights at water parks, and lost her virginity to a bait salesman on a water bed.
Avery: Kim Jong-Il could not be reached for comment because he was having a totally normal day being alive and not dead.
Avery Meta/Self-Referential Dark/Subversive Scott: Our brilliant comrade scored 200 points and then went hot-tubbing with a couple guys he's definitely just friends with.
Scott: You lose, Jack... Is what Kim Jong-Il said to Jack Nicklaus after defeating him in golf today because they're both totally alive.
Scott Misdirection Callback Callback Liz: Here's a hint. I like zippers.
Criss: I'm a man. I'm a man, I'm a man! I'm an adult man! You think I like you having to pay for everything? It's humiliating.
Criss Escalation Character Comedy Criss: You think I like having to earn Crisspoints so that I can take you on dates that you actually pay for?
Criss Character Comedy Absurdist Criss: Only because liking the Crisspoints system is one of the ways I earn Crisspoints!
Criss Escalation Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Callback Criss: It is a van with a car engine, Liz, okay?
Criss: Because you're the person who has to krang that plant for nine months, poop it, and then go back to work to support both of you!
Criss Absurdist Callback Callback Criss: And he has a watch, and an office with a trash can and a little basketball hoop on it.
Criss Escalation Character Comedy Liz: And yet you're silent about Grant.
Liz Reaction Beat Character Comedy Criss: And he plays as hard as he works because, damn it, he deserves to blow off a little steam.
Criss Character Comedy Observational Tracy: Are you crying because there are no roles for actresses in their 40s, nor should there be?
Tracy Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Tracy: 50? That's nothing. I once did 100 takes and still couldn't say the word 'incorrigible.'
Tracy Character Comedy Escalation Tracy: Great, now I get it! Siri, bring Jessica Tandy back to life.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Tracy: Jessica Tandy's zombie is coming to find you. Is that correct? Yes, Siri. Thank you, baby.
Tracy Escalation Absurdist Callback Jack: She has the brain of a man, and the ass of a French teenager.
Liz: Lloyd Blankfein slithers back into the sewers to eat rotten fish at 6:00
Liz Character Comedy Visual Gag Liz: ♪Deathly hallows and Tebow ♪ ♪ Oprah does her last show ♪ ♪ Beyoncé had a baby, yo ♪ ♪ It's a 12-month wrap-up, rap-rap-rap-up ♪
Liz Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Criss: Also, FOX News is right across the street, and word is Greta Van Susteren eats hot dogs like Slimer.
Criss Observational Visual Gag Liz: As a Sesame Street purist, I don't think Elmo usually tells passing women that they have a sweet dumper.
Fake Elmo: Legally, I have to say I'm Elmarg!
Jenna: Them puppets done picked the wrong day to cross my kin! It's on, panhandle style!
Jenna Character Comedy Escalation Callback Jenna: My outside is shiny and pretty, but my inside is filled with cardboard and horse glue.
Jenna Character Comedy Callback Mayor Bloomberg: Tonight, I'm Mayor Booo-mberg.
Jack: The woman I kissed is your mother.
Jack: I had an erotic dream about an adult Dora the explorer. I took her on a balcony in Madrid, above the Plaza Mayor. She had flowers in her hair.
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: I had an erotic dream about an adult Dora the Explorer. I took her on a balcony in Madrid, above the Plaza Mayor. She had flowers in her hair.
Jack Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Avery: I thought I was playing you, and you were playing me the whole time. And in 24 hours, I got you to tell me things it would have taken you years to admit.
Avery Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz: ♪ J-Lo and Marc Anthony ♪ ♪ Donn and Vicki from O.C. ♪ ♪ 12-month wrap-up, rap-rap-rap-up ♪
Liz Callback Character Comedy Callback Commercial Narrator: Johnny Choon, Dolce and Banana, Merolo Blornig, Prader, Gukki, DKNI, Alexandorp McKing, Diana Von Fistenbug
Commercial Narrator: Running from your parole officer, attending a theater opening, breaking into your mom's house to steal her cable box.
