Jack and a very pregnant Avery take a romantic break in Canada. When Avery goes into labor, the power couple desperately scramble to not give birth to a Canadian. Meanwhile, Liz's getaway with Carol gets grounded, literally, when their plane collects dust on the tarmac. And Tracy is an EGOT winner, but with that comes overwhelming demands.
Escalating character chaos drives 78 jokes across 43 minutes—3.13 per minute average.
Directed by Don Scardino · Written by Kay Cannon
WAR
162.1
Wins Above Replacement
“Double Edged Sword” ranks #31 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 99.6 — Elite. The episode packs 94 scored jokes at 3.8 per minute, averaging 7.8 on craft and 7.7 on impact, with Carol landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Jack Donaghy: Why did I buy a beryllium mine if her birthstone isn't going to be aquamarine?
Jack Donaghy: Your milk comes in bags. Bags! / Your pavilion at EPCOT doesn't have a ride! / And if Canada is so nice and friendly, why does most of our meth come from your Asian drug gangs? Are we not even making our own meth? What is happening to American manufacturing?
Tracy Jordan · Liz Lemon · Dotcom: It will probably involve the guitar-playing chimpanzee that I bought this morning. — No. — Uh, hold on. Dotcom is confirming that he drowned.
Tracy Jordan: I'm not scared of you people! And I don't think those cashews look like a bowl of baby penises!
Kenneth Parcell: If it was me, I'd just hide out until people forgot who I was. But keep in mind we Hornbergers are famous cowards. On D-Day, my grandfather wore a German uniform under his American one, just in case.
All Jokes — 94 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Liz Lemon: I blew mine up, and now it smells like my mouth.
Liz Lemon: I never sleep on planes. I don't want to get incepted.
Jack Donaghy: You're going to Nags Head? Isn't that redundant?
Jenna Maroney: Jenna delivers the Nags Head joke to a mirror, practicing as 'Mirror Jenna'
Jenna Maroney Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jack Donaghy: Jack presents an envelope predicting Liz's Nags Head joke — 'That is solid.'
Jack Donaghy Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jack Donaghy: We're going to Toronto for the G8 Economic Summit. It's going to be... very erotic.
Liz Lemon: Look at us, being all adulty. I packed underwear that isn't gray!
Jack Donaghy: Like you, Avery is a Type-A nutjob.
Liz Lemon · Carol: We're not 'stubborn'. We're principled. / Well, that would only be a problem if I had any flaws.
Jack Donaghy: Not only is your fly open, there's a pencil sticking out of it.
Liz Lemon: Good day to you, sir. [Liz presumably storms off]
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Tracy Jordan · Jenna Maroney: Tracy's entourage have replaced themselves with mirrors for Tracy to congratulate; 'You're ready, Mirror Jenna.' is reprised — now Tracy faces a mirror version of his team.
Tracy Jordan · Dotcom: The Empire State Building will be lit in the color of your choosing. — Clear.
Dotcom · Tracy Jordan: Sea World will now let you borrow a killer whale for Spring Break. I'll need a whale saddle.
Dotcom · Tracy Jordan: Steven Spielberg wants you to star in his next movie. — Kate Capshaw's husband?
Tracy Jordan · Liz Lemon · Dotcom: It will probably involve the guitar-playing chimpanzee that I bought this morning. — No. — Uh, hold on. Dotcom is confirming that he drowned.
Tracy Jordan: 'Speaking'? That doesn't sound like me. That sounds like work.
Carol: I realize you're more important than everyone else on the flight, what with those Jets sweatpants...
Carol Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Carol · Young Girl: Excuse me, young lady. Are you old enough to be traveling alone? I don't know. I'm going to visit my Nana, but I'm scared. — Wait, that's too young. — Roger that.
Carol: This is a $90-million aircraft, not a Tallahassee strip club.
Carol Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Carol: Stewart, 2118 that guy.
Carol Character Comedy Absurdist Carol: And that is Sky Law.
Carol Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Carol: I'm going to Raleigh for a business meeting. I'm a businessman. I'm not an air marshal.
Carol Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Carol: Thanks for choosing Air Bike.
Liz Lemon · Carol: There's a man on the wing! — We haven't taken off yet. It's just a mechanic.
Jack Donaghy · Avery Jessup: Let's do it on the balcony. — You might have to start without me. — No problem.
Jack Donaghy: Oh, God, you're breaking the extra bone all Canadians have in their hands!
Jack Donaghy: Why did I buy a beryllium mine if her birthstone isn't going to be aquamarine?
Jack Donaghy: Your milk comes in bags. Bags! / Your pavilion at EPCOT doesn't have a ride! / And if Canada is so nice and friendly, why does most of our meth come from your Asian drug gangs? Are we not even making our own meth? What is happening to American manufacturing?
Tracy Jordan: I'm not scared of you people! And I don't think those cashews look like a bowl of baby penises!
Tracy Jordan: Being an EGOT is fun! Here's to me spending the rest of my life in rooms like this!
Carol: And NBC sitcoms that didn't make the schedule. [as in-flight entertainment on the plane]
Carol Meta/Self-Referential Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Liz Lemon: Really? 'Cause I checked Flight Tracker on my phone, and our status is just an angry red frowny face.
Carol: Okay, you want to know a little pilot secret, besides the fact that we get a discount at Sunglass Hut?
Carol Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Carol: The 'half-an-hour' thing is a trick... to control the herds of walking mozzarella sticks who think that $300 and a photo ID gives them the right to fly through the air like one of the Guardian Owls of legend!
Carol Character Comedy Escalation Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Carol: Well, good luck pressing 'Take Off', then 'Autopilot', then 'Land'.
Carol Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Owl Movie Characters: Oh, no, Soren! It's Metalbeak! / You have to stay awake, Eglantine. All the pure ones will moonblink us. [in-flight movie playing]
Carol: About half an hour. [beat after Liz and Carol reach a moment of calm]
Carol Running Gag Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Avery Jessup · Jack Donaghy: Every flight is cancelled. — No. / When I asked the lady at the desk, she told me in kilometers!
Jack Donaghy: We ruined those kids' field day. [re: being unbeatable at three-legged race]
Jack Donaghy · Avery Jessup: Alexander Hamilton was born in the West Indies, and he went on to... To what, Jack? Be a mouthpiece for Federalism and then die in a duel against someone named Aaron? Is that what you want our daughter to be? A big government duel loser?
Airplane Passenger: Dear God, they've re-started the failed NBC shows. Oh, no. Please, no. Not 'Gals on the Town' again!
Gals on the Town Theme: 'Gals on the Town' theme song: Love and friendship, having it all / Or maybe just a great pair of shoes / One of them has to be Asian / Can they be good at their jobs?
Airplane Passenger: Those bathrooms are disgusting! Someone has to do something! Please, do something! You said you knew the captain!
Liz Lemon: We were like them once, and we can be again! But we're just airplane folk now!
Liz Lemon: He's a reasonable person. He compromises readily on movie choices and... sexual positions.
Carol: Stewart did not study dance at Carnegie Mellon to become a flight attendant to clean bathrooms.
Carol Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Carol: Negative. Those potato chip bags are designed to be opened in flight. You open them at sea level, somebody could be killed.
Carol Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Carol · Liz Lemon: Like that police horse you yelled at? — If I can't poop on the street, why should my tax dollars pay for someone else to?
Carol: All passengers, including any lipless middle-aged women in lesbian clown shirts, should please be seated at this time.
Carol Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch Tracy Jordan: 'Breakfast with Charles Schumer'? I don't want to watch that guy eat. / '5K Homeless Walk'? That just seems cruel.
Tracy Jordan: '5K Homeless Walk'? That just seems cruel.
Tracy Jordan: 'Cornell Commencement Address'? Sorry, but Tracy Jordan doesn't do safety schools!
Kenneth Parcell · Tracy Jordan: The Peter Principle says you rise to the level of your incompetence. — But my incompetence knows no bounds.
Kenneth Parcell: If it was me, I'd just hide out until people forgot who I was. But keep in mind we Hornbergers are famous cowards. On D-Day, my grandfather wore a German uniform under his American one, just in case.
Dotcom: Al Sharpton would denounce him at a press conference on the street because Al Sharpton doesn't have an office.
Dotcom Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Tracy Jordan: Like guitar-playing-chimpanzee amazing, God bless and keep him.
Kenneth Parcell: You don't know the meaning of the word 'scared'. And I know, because I've looked it up for you a dozen times!
Lorne: Great. I'm Lorne. If you're a cop, you have to tell me. I'm just kidding. We're all on vacation.
Lorne Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jack Donaghy · Lorne: Is this a mobile meth lab? — Yes, it is.
Avery Jessup · Jack Donaghy: Quit? I've never quit anything in my life. I'm still in Girl Scouts. I have 9,000 badges. / Hey, I'm still looking for a golf ball I shanked in 1987. I am not taking that penalty stroke!
Jack Donaghy: Hey, I'm still looking for a golf ball I shanked in 1987. I am not taking that penalty stroke!
Avery Jessup: Now, let's drive this bomb to Buffalo and get this little bitch out of me.
Carol: ...especially Stewart, who often makes up hurtful nicknames for me, like Mr. Bumpy Landing.
Carol Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Carol: Austin Powers on 'Crossfire', timely stuff.
Carol Irony/Sarcasm Meta/Self-Referential Liz Lemon: And I'm not even going to ask what the hell that voice is that you use on the intercom! 'Uh, folks, half an hour means forever.'
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Running Gag Irony/Sarcasm Callback Carol · Liz Lemon: You're so stubborn when you think you're right. Even when the answer is on the Trivial Pursuit card! — The card was wrong!
Liz Lemon · Carol: And you're no better, Carol! You built that bookshelf incorrectly! — I did not! I wanted the books to slide off!
Carol: I will take us back to the gate when you stand up in front of my crew and my passengers and admit that you were wrong. / ...and I was correct in my treatment of you and your fellow animals.
Carol Character Comedy Escalation Liz Lemon · Carol: I'd rather die on this plane. — That can be arranged.
Border Patrol / RV Guy: You smuggling unpasteurized cheese? Prescription drugs? Maple syrup from the sacred Tree of Souls in Winnipeg?
Lorne: Because they sound very sitcomy.
Lorne Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lorne: They made me memorize all 700 words in the Canadian dictionary. — They made me go to law school. — You went to law school? — For one day. I was just so tightly wound that I got kicked out for karate-chopping my roommate. I know, I'm a stereotype. 'All guys from Quebec are good at karate.'
Lorne Character Comedy Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Lorne: 'All guys from Quebec are good at karate.' I know, I'm a stereotype.
Lorne Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Lorne: Oh, my God, where are my manners? Do you want to try meth?
Lorne Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Tracy Jordan · Kenneth Parcell: I'm Oscar-winner Tracy Jordan. And as scary as it is, I have a responsibility to fix the world, starting with the worst place ever! — IKEA on a Saturday? — Africa.
Jenna Maroney: Begin moving my things into his dressing room. [Liz to Jenna, about Tracy leaving for Africa]
Carol: Well, folks, from the flight deck, it looks like it's going to be another half-hour...
Carol Running Gag Irony/Sarcasm Callback Liz Lemon: I have an announcement! Our pilot has gone insane! / Having seen 'Crimson Tide' on Showtime last weekend, I believe the only course of action available to us is passenger mutiny! I am Denzel!
Carol: I am invoking Sky Law. You are now silenced, shrieking harpy. Stop speaking!
Carol Character Comedy Running Gag Callback Airplane Passenger · Carol · Liz Lemon: Maybe this is one of those times where both of you just say on the count of three, 'I was wrong.' — One, two, three... — Never!
Airplane Passenger: How are you two dating? You're too similar!
Liz Lemon: I'm pulling the emergency exit slide, and we are all getting off of this plane! I'll be a folk hero, like that guy everybody hates now!
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Elderly Passenger: You'll have to go through this old bastard first! [old man stands up]
Carol · Liz Lemon: [Owl movie: Soren. Eglantine. Your journey is at an end.] — Sorry. / I hope we can still be friends.
Jack Donaghy: We tried to get back home, Lemon. In a meth lab. / Yes, my daughter is Canadian-American. But I'm going to treat her just like a human baby.
Jack Donaghy: We tried to get back home, Lemon. In a meth lab.
Liz Lemon: I hope you and Avery can make it because you have a whole lifetime ahead of you of that double-edged sword just swinging around, trying to cut your faces off.
Jack Donaghy · Avery Jessup: This woman's trying to tell me that we don't have to pay for any of this! Right, the Canadian health care system... — Oh, no, you don't! We will not be party to this socialist perversion. You will take our money!
Jack Donaghy: Let's go find a Canadian who will take our money.
Jack Donaghy: Let's go find a Canadian who will take our money.
Tracy Jordan: This morning I taught the local schoolchildren all the words to 'Monster Mash'.
Tracy Jordan: Don't you get that this is bigger than all that? Like how an ant is much bigger than a smaller bug?
Tracy Jordan: Don't you get that this is bigger than all that? Like how an ant is much bigger than a smaller bug?
