Its Never Too Late For Now

Liz · Jenna:Liz arrives with a cat, a fanny pack, and a chip-clip ponytail — Jenna catalogs each item as evidence of giving up

Liz:"Because I'm giving up, Jenna. I did the math."

Liz:"I was once in an elevator with Tom Brokaw, and I blew all three... Opportunities!"

Liz:So I am making my graceful transition into spinsterhood. I have adopted this cat, named her Emily Dickinson.

Jack · Liz:Jack asks Liz: 'Quick. Who is the lead character on NCIS?' and Liz immediately answers 'Special agent Jethro Gibbs.'

Liz:"I took the money I was saving for my honeymoon, and I bought a cemetery plot."

Liz · Jack:"I also joined a book club at the senior center near my home. We're reading Murder on the Orient Express. You know there's a movie of that, right? I did not."

Jack:"Since inventing democracy, those guys have been coasting." (about Greece)

Jack:Baby named 'Liddy' — after Liddy Dole, G. Gordon Liddy, and martial arts instructor Li Di

Jack:Alysinna died last week. [re: Bridalplasty]

Jack:"Meeting magazine is already calling it 'the first great meeting of the decade.'"

Liz · Jack:"But aren't NBC and Kabletown the same company now? That seems like a pretty big conflict of interest. Why would the government even allow that merger? It's okay. Don't worry. You just keep watching Bridalplasty. Alysinna died last week."

Jack:"These women run your household, so you have to keep them happy, which means not saying anything as your DVR fills up with Trinidadian soap operas."

Liz:"Watch this. I can fit Emily Dickinson's whole head in my mouth." — Liz demonstrates with the cat

Pete:Pete reveals he was in Loverboy — then hums 'Everybody's Working for the Weekend'

Pete:Pete chose between staying in Loverboy or taking a college scholarship to study TV budgeting

Jack · Sherry:Jack negotiating with his night nurse Sherry about her hourly rate using an elaborate potato analogy that completely fails

Sherry:"So, what you wan' do?" — Sherry's response after Jack's entire elaborate negotiating speech

Jack · Sherry:Jack immediately capitulates and gives Sherry all her money after one pause

Liz:Liz is watching Murder on the Orient Express being narrated in her living room — the audio of the film plays over the scene

Jenna:Jenna: "Also I've been taking these new Czechoslovakian organ-slimming pills. They contain a little bit of meth, which is something my body needs anyway."

Jenna:"Now, when I'm rebounding, I like to do it with an NBA player, because it's fun wordplay and they're mean."

Jenna:"I didn't give up when Eric Roberts abandoned me in the desert, and I won't now. No judgment, Liz. Mr. Roberts thought I was dead."

Pete · Liz · Jenna:Pete and Liz are discovered rehearsing their song 'It's Never Too Late For Now' in the studio

Liz:Liz reveals her fanny pack is in her office mini-fridge because she likes her tampons to be cold

Pete · Liz:Pete and Liz argue about who invented 'It's Never Too Late' and who gets to speak at the Grammys

unnamed editor:"Welcome to Brokeblack Mountain. You need to go black, Marty!"

Liz:"Is that another magazine about meetings?"

Jack:Professor Widmer's business school 'good job' spanking — revealed to be literal bare-bottom discipline

Jack:"Eight pounds of screaming, toothless, soft-skulled leverage."

Jack:Yes. But Sherry can't prove that I love Liddy, so I renegotiate under new conditions, specifically, that I hate my newborn daughter.

Liz:"Wow, Jack. I could never pretend to hate my beautiful baby daughter, Emily Dickinson the cat."

Donna · Liz:Uh-oh. I don't feel so good. I think maybe I have food poisoning. Really? 'Cause I've never had a problem ordering from American sub restaurant very clean come in.

Jenna:"It's a trick I developed to catch people talking about me behind my back. Did you know everyone thinks I'm insane?"

Liz Lemon:Jenna, you know how much I hate clubs and dance halls and odeons. They're all malarkey.

Jenna:"This isn't Eric Roberts' tepee." — Jenna reassuring Liz she can leave if she doesn't like the club

Jack:Jack tells Sherry he doesn't care about the baby: 'I've only known her for a few weeks, and other than a fondness for Avery's breasts, Liddy and I have nothing in common.'

Jack:Jack's full negotiation speech to Sherry: claiming he doesn't care about his baby, she's one of two people to vomit on him, and 'I haven't spoken to Joe Namath since that Mardi Gras'

Jack:"So evolutionarily, that makes me want to eat her."

Jack · Sherry:Jack's negotiating position collapses — 'Please stay. I'll send everyone in your family to college.'

Liz · Jenna:The club is named 'Canal Yards Project' — Liz immediately objects and calls it 'hipster nonsense'

Liz · Bartender:Liz orders 'two diet cranberry beach bangs' — the bartender cards her — she offers 'I participated in Hands Across America' as ID

Anders · Liz:Anders recognizes Liz from across the room by her hair — the color is called 'grandfather's shoe'

Anders · Liz:Anders orders white wine with ice cubes and Sprite — Liz reveals that is also her drink, which she keeps in a thermos by her toilet

Anders · Liz:Anders rants about droids being refused entry to the cantina in Star Wars while being unable to get a drink at a NYC club

Pete · Liz:Pete and Yuki's band conflict — 'Do you think that, or does she?' referencing Yoko Ono dynamics

Pete:Pete: 'All right, you know what? Forget it! Sound mound is finished! Which means I now have 5,000 t-shirts to un-order.' — immediately receives a delivery of band t-shirts

Liz:Ew, Julia Roberts in a movie about eating? Give me Kirstie Alley, somebody who knows what she's doing.

Liz:"My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season."

Jack:Jack's revelation: 'I do have that. I have NBC.' — applying the Sherry/Liddy leverage dynamic to the Kabletown negotiation

Jack · Kabletown Rep:I have NBC. Look, broadcast networks receiving licensing fees is unprecedented, Jack. But we're willing to offer NBC 10% of what we pay cable. / Not to negotiate against myself, but I get where you guys are coming from.

Jack:Jack reapplies Sherry's exact tactics in the NBC negotiation — 'What you wanna do?' — and wins

Kabletown Rep:So what you wanna do? [Kabletown rep echoing Sherry's exact phrase back at Jack]

Jenna:"Oh, way to go, Liz! Attagirl! Walk of shame! You bow-legged bitch!"

Jack:Jack: 'I see that someone got to first base, which is what I consider sex with a stranger.'

Jack:"I once saw an Internet video of a mouse and a bird that are friends. Don't overthink it."

Liz:Liz's Murder on the Orient Express-style breakdown of the conspiracy — complete with narrator voice and dramatic pauses

Liz · Jenna:"And who here has access to Donna's food?" — Liz turns to Jenna, who is clearly guilty

Liz:"How does one lose one's license out of a malfunction-proof Velcro Phillies sport wallet?"

Liz · Jenna:Jenna protests 'Liz, I wouldn't...' — then Liz produces the sealed ibuprofen bottle

Liz:"Was my uncharacteristic energy due to the giddiness of the evening? Or was someone slipping me black market organ-slimming pills?"

Jenna:Jenna's bar fight revealed — she is shown fighting a man and getting hit by what appears to be a bird on a roller coaster

Liz:"Almost as if it had been designed specifically for me — but who has the resources and the connections to create a Liz Lemon-themed club in one day?" — the club sign is revealed to have Jack's distinctive signature

Anders · Jenna · Jack:It's white wine, ice cubes, and sprite. / She calls it... Funky juice. / I don't know if I want to do this.

Liz:Anders knew Liz's private drink order — revealed through Toofer's Harvard connection and/or the Swiss prostitute Martha Stewart recommended

Liz:"Of course, such a conspiracy would require a group of people who knew me so well and cared about my happiness so much that it's impossible to believe. No one could ever be that lucky. Which is why I choose the simple explanation."

Liz:"I choose to believe that last night Liz Lemon went out, got some, and felt good about it."

Liz:"Oh, God, a hawk got her! Emily Dickinson!"