Jack sees an opportunity for budget cuts when Josh's contract is up, forcing Liz to go out of her way to motivate Josh into staying with TGS and not moving on to a rival show. Meanwhile, Kenneth earns a coveted spot in Tracy's entourage and Jenna gets in trouble over a misquote in Maxim.
58 jokes in 23 minutes yields 2.53-per-minute absurdist barrage—Season 1's densest comedy engine.
Directed by Don Scardino · Written by Matt Hubbard
WAR
71.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Hard Ball” ranks #55 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 86.1 — Elite. The episode packs 58 scored jokes at 2.5 per minute, averaging 7.4 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Tracy landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Tracy: I love this cornbread so much I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
Tracy Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Tracy · Dotcom: Want to go to Vegas and buy a bunch of sarcophagi? / Nah. I don't even use the ones I have.
Jack: what happened in your childhood to make you believe that people are good?
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Jack: I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap.
Jack Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Jack · Kenneth: Can't do that. Make it 4:00 AM. / That's no good. / 10:00. / Stop insulting me. / 3:00 AM. / Midnight. / You bring the coffee. / 2:30, you bring the coffee. / That's my final. / Done.
All Jokes — 58 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Jenna: At first I was mad that Jessica Simpson was ahead of me. But then I saw the Dukes of Hazzard. Funny!
Jenna Observational Irony/Sarcasm Jenna: Actually, they use salad dressing, 'cause it gets a better sheen.
Jenna Observational Absurdist Jenna Running Gag ★ Rewatch Jenna: I'm laughin', I'm horny, let's do this!
Jenna Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz: Well, you look happy. Somebody just have a root beer float?
Liz Observational Character Comedy Jack · Kenneth: Can't do that. Make it 4:00 AM. / That's no good. / 10:00. / Stop insulting me. / 3:00 AM. / Midnight. / You bring the coffee. / 2:30, you bring the coffee. / That's my final. / Done.
Liz: Right, I think you mean mano a toddler.
Liz Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Jack: I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap.
Jack Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Jack: These sunglasses have a chip in them that makes the lenses change color as my iPod loses power.
Jack Absurdist Character Comedy Liz · Jack: That's not how you play marbles, Jack. / But that's how you keep them.
Liz Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Tracy: Yo, remember that email we got from those Nigerians that needed our help gettin' all that money out of Africa? We did it! I got the check today.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Tracy · Dotcom: Want to go to Vegas and buy a bunch of sarcophagi? / Nah. I don't even use the ones I have.
Tracy · Grizz: Fatballz? / Studying hotel administration at Cornell. / Well, go ahead, Fatballz! That's a good program.
Tracy: I love this cornbread so much I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
Tracy Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Kenneth · Tracy: The sun'll come out Tomorrow... Fa la la la
Tracy Observational Character Comedy Jenna: 'Cause I tried to mention Bono as much as possible.
Jenna Character Comedy Absurdist Jenna: but it's just a bunch of gay guys that like to get in silly costumes and prance around.
Jenna Irony/Sarcasm Cringe/Discomfort TV Pundit: These Hollyweirdos from La La Land like Jenna Moron-ey are just un-American!
TV Pundit: and their parent company the Sheinhardt Wig Corporation.
Jenna: Should I prepare a song?
Jenna Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jenna: Does my vulva look swollen? Come here.
Jenna Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Josh: Could I get free Choco Sticks?
Josh Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Alan: We've got some serious troubs, my friend. We are not smiles-times.
Alan Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Alan: What your skedge mañana? 'Cause this is gonna be one serious negosh.
Alan Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Callback Tracy: I love Halo so much, I wanna take it out behind a middle school and get it pregnant!
Tracy Callback Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Tracy: I like to keep things fresh so much, that I wanna take it out behind the middle school and get it pregnant.
Tracy Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Liz: You could say that you support the troops, but you feel that the war was poorly planned and started under false pretenses. And that we should have used those resources to hunt down Osama Bin Laden.
Liz Character Comedy Observational Jenna · Liz: Obama, what is he, Hispanic? / No, he's black. / And he's running for President? / Good luck.
Jenna Liz Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Alan: All right, let's skip the foreplay and get right to the penetraish.
Alan Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Callback Alan: I mean, Yaznach is coming up.
Alan Absurdist Character Comedy Jack Setup/Punchline Escalation Jack: These photos I found of Josh roughhousing with Lance Bass at SeaWorld.
Jack: My offer is now 75 cents.
Jack Escalation Callback Callback Alan Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Callback Jack: I knew you weren't ready for a big chair.
Kenneth: You're marrying my mom, aren't you?
Kenneth Absurdist Misdirection ★ Rewatch Tracy: If Kenneth can beat me, and you can beat Kenneth, then by the transitive property, you should beat me too!
Tracy Observational Absurdist Grizz · Tracy: What is the world's only egg-laying mammal? / The Easter bunny! / Right again!
Jenna: You know, for someone who's super super hot, you're really cranky.
Jenna Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jenna: why doesn't he hunt down and capture Barrack Obama before he strikes again?
Jenna Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Callback Jenna Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: I have written an op ed piece for the New York Times under Jenna's name in which I put the media on trial.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist Liz: He told me he was a pallbearer at his brother's wedding.
Liz Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Jack: what happened in your childhood to make you believe that people are good?
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Also, that Oscar you have is made of chocolate. And that lady you European kissed last night was actually a gentleman...
Liz: Josh? You stupid turd.
Liz Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Liz: You were opening for a puppet when I found you.
Liz Character Comedy Escalation Liz · Josh: what kind of moron calls out sick and then comes to work to have a meeting? / I get an NBC discount here.
Liz Josh Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Kenneth · Tracy: Well, he wanted Dwayne Jr.'s number, so I gave it to him. / You did what? / Damn it, K, now I have to hear from Tanisha's mom on how they both mad at the twins.
Tracy · TV: Television on! / Pornography!
Jack: I called my friend Saul Sheinhardt at our parent company Sheinhardt Wigs who called his nephew Morty Sheinhardt who called his son, John Stewart.
Jack Escalation Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Jack Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Josh: I have a really bad sex addiction.
Josh Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz · Jack: Do the worm! / Good Lord, the worm! That's so degrading. Are its origins German?
Liz: Okay, the pinwheels are lit, but they're not spinning. When they're not spinning, they look exactly like... Swastikas.
Tracy: I love you so much, I'm gonna take you behind the middle school and get you pregnant.
Tracy Callback Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Tracy: I love you so much, I'm gonna take you behind the middle school and get you pregnant.
Tracy Callback Running Gag Callback 