Liz Lemon meets her mother's old flame, while Jack Donaghy's mother, Colleen, gets tangled in his relationships with Avery Jessup and high school love, Nancy Donovan. Jenna's mother, Verna returns, while Tracy learns a lesson from his "mom".
Mother-centric episode sustains 85-point pace through character escalation, delivering 77 jokes across 40 minutes.
Directed by John Riggi · Written by Kay Cannon, Robert Carlock
WAR
142.8
Wins Above Replacement
“The Moms” ranks #56 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 98.2 — Elite. The episode packs 84 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 7.8 on craft and 7.6 on impact, with Liz Lemon landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Buzz Aldrin: I see you. I see what you're doing. Return to the night. You've no business here.
Buzz Aldrin: Years of drinking, depression, cheating. I flipped over a Saab in the San Fernando Valley. I once woke up in the Air and Space Museum with a revolver in the waistband of my jean shorts.
Buzz Aldrin Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Jenna's Mom (Margaret): I have never been to Chicago. I sexually assaulted Scottie Pippen in 1997.
Liz's Mom (Margaret): I repeatedly lost my virginity to him, while Waldo, the town perv, watched from the bushes.
Buzz Aldrin · Liz Lemon: Would you like to yell at the moon with Buzz Aldrin? / Yes, please. / I own you! You dumb moon! I walked on your face! Don't you know it's day? Idiot!
All Jokes — 84 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Liz Lemon: Could I get your lucretia mott on this?
Liz Lemon Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz Lemon: NBC's ill-fated decision to re-air the pilot of Bitch Hunter
Bitch Hunter actor: Cut to clip of Bitch Hunter: 'Put the mimosas down! Bitch.'
Liz Lemon · Jonathan: Wait, it's Mother's Day already? Did you forget? Colleen is gonna kill you.
Jack Donaghy · Jonathan: There's still time. Jonathan. Jonathan, call the florist, and order a dozen--no. Necktie. Too late, Jackie.
Frank's Mom · Frank: Frank's mom brings a bathtub photo of 'little Frankie' taken before senior prom
Liz Lemon: Yeah, that's happening a lot.
Jenna's Mom (Margaret): I have never been to Chicago. I sexually assaulted Scottie Pippen in 1997.
Kenneth: Her name might be Cheryl, and she was wearing a red shirt in 1984.
Kenneth Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Tracy Jordan: Like when they was looking for John McCain's running mate... I'm kidding. This needs to be taken seriously.
Jack Donaghy · Colleen Donaghy: Our Lady of Reluctant Integration — the name of the parish Patricia Goodband's sister runs bingo at
Jack Donaghy · Colleen Donaghy: Jack has memorized the names of everyone in Colleen's water aerobics class
Kenneth Parcell · Colleen Donaghy: Kenneth attempts to 'entertain' Colleen by singing a non-song: '♪ Oh, the fiddle's in the creek ♪ and the frog's in the kitchen ♪ / I apologize, ma'am. That is not a song.'
Writer (Josh/other) · Lutz · Miho: Hey Lutz, this is my mom, Miho.
Lutz: I didn't know you were adopted.
Lutz Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Liz Lemon · Liz's Mom (Margaret): Wrong tree, mom. Gotcha.
Liz's Mom (Margaret): I made us both rompers to wear.
Liz Lemon: My... Friend has to go strangle her anxiety pillow.
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz Lemon: Lee, it's the bridesmaid's dress. I can't breathe. I'm gonna die in here.
Mrs. Lutz: It's bad luck for a married woman to be a bridesmaid. It brings fever and disease.
Mrs. Lutz: Not even common law? How do you get credit at a mattress store?
Colleen Donaghy: You see? That's what feminism does. It makes smart girls with nice birthing shapes believe in fairytales.
Liz Lemon: I'm not waiting for a prince. I'm waiting for astronaut Mike Dexter.
Colleen Donaghy · Liz Lemon: Oh, sweet lord in heaven. / Who turns out to be the secret king of Monaco.
Colleen Donaghy: John is looking for a... greener banana, so...
Verna: I'm being a great mother — listening, giving advice, asking stupid questions during movies.
Verna Character Comedy Observational Verna: I already spent that down payment on the first half of my boob job. It's not an implant. It's just a little yank up, you know? I mean, I got the meat, Jack. Go ahead. Feel 'em.
Verna Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Jack Donaghy: Like a cantaloupe and a Ziploc bag of mushroom soup.
Tracy Jordan: Novella Nelson? Oh wait, is she Aquaman's girlfriend?
Tracy Jordan: That could be anyone! We all look the same to me.
Liz Lemon: You'd probably know her best from a commercial they air a lot during the 3:30 A.M. SportsCenter.
Novella Nelson (in commercial): Pajamaralls. Ugh, these overalls are chafing. I can't wear these pajamas fishing! Pajamaralways.
Tracy Jordan · Liz Lemon: Phylicia Rashad. Serena Williams. They're too recognizable, Tracy. And Serena Williams is younger than you.
Tracy Jordan: Who cares? She's awesome, and so am I. I want Serena Williams to be my mother.
Liz Lemon: I think she's good enough for the star of Sherlock Homie.
Colleen Donaghy: Two women, Jack, at the same time. What are you, Italian?
Jack Donaghy: I know it's gay, but it's my gay problem, and I'm handling it.
Colleen Donaghy: Just bring my son one of everything. That way, he doesn't have to choose.
Liz's Mom (Margaret): In Florida, everybody's always asking me, 'Where did you get that? You made it? Holy crap! Where do I commission one?'
Verna · Jenna Maroney: Verna rips Jenna's fancy clothes — and the fabric holds: 'That is quality stitching.'
Verna: Damn the tiny, brown hands that made this.
Verna Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz's Mom (Margaret): Oh, no, honey. A computer is a great big thing with a green screen.
Liz's Mom (Margaret): I repeatedly lost my virginity to him, while Waldo, the town perv, watched from the bushes.
Liz Lemon: Wait, what? / Nothing, younger me. It's fine.
Liz Lemon Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz's Mom (Margaret): I had just graduated from secretary school... I was already 26, an old maid. Different times. Octomom.
Margaret Lemon: I was already 26, an old maid. Different times. Octomom.
Liz's Mom (Margaret): And I have never regretted it. Not even when I watched Ed Aldrin walk on the moon.
Liz Lemon: Wait, your Ed is Buzz Aldrin?
Liz Lemon Reaction Beat Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Liz's Mom (Margaret): Yeah, but I always called him Ed, because our town had, like, five Buzzes.
Liz Lemon: You should regret that, mom. You should have followed him. Laura Linney could have played you in the HBO original movie Moon Wives!
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Absurdist Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Tracy Jordan · Novella Nelson: Like anyone would recognize you anyway. / I'm sorry. What did you say?
Tracy Jordan: You are way beneath me, novella. I am a movie star, a television actor, and a Guinness Book of World Record holder for most car accidents in a single year.
Tracy Jordan: Fine. I'd rather be up on that stage all alone than to be with someone whose resume has 'black judge' on it nine times.
Novella Nelson · Tracy Jordan: And you think I wanted a fake son who recorded an anti-condom PSA? / I saved a lot of kids from lame sex!
Novella Nelson: Little ingrate.
Jack Donaghy · Liz Lemon: All right, start with taxes, then insurance, and change this to 'Latin America.' / I can't say Nicaragua.
Colleen Donaghy: You're going to have to work your backside, because chest-wise you have the measurements of an altar boy.
Colleen Donaghy: I've got to get back to calling Kenneth 'Carl' to see if he ever corrects me.
Colleen Donaghy · Kenneth Parcell: Carl! / Yes, ma'am?
Jack Donaghy: Oh, really? I know Buzz. We met at a photo shoot for Vanity Fair's annual Awesome Gentleman issue.
Liz Lemon: Or I would have been born Peter Aldrin. And I'd wait for a woman with the right stuff. Now, remember, in this scenario, I'm a man and my father is an astronaut.
Liz Lemon Meta/Self-Referential Wordplay/Pun Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jack Donaghy: He's in town. I saw him last night at Rupert Murdoch's twister party. I mean, uh, regular party.
Tracy Jordan: I hear you. Because you're talking in the ear that I didn't lose a button in.
Jenna Maroney: Thank God Terry's dead, or we'd be fighting over him again too.
Jenna Maroney: It's true. Sometimes I sing too beautifully.
Jack Donaghy · Avery Jessup: So I'm gonna skip the part where I deny anything. / Then you skip the part where you yell at me. / And then we both move on to the, uh, make-up sex.
Colleen Donaghy: Wow. That is a swing.
Avery Jessup: But these tactics have worked on stupider women.
Buzz Aldrin: I don't believe in barriers, because I always break them.
Buzz Aldrin: I see you. I see what you're doing. Return to the night. You've no business here.
Buzz Aldrin: Years of drinking, depression, cheating. I flipped over a Saab in the San Fernando Valley. I once woke up in the Air and Space Museum with a revolver in the waistband of my jean shorts.
Buzz Aldrin Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Liz Lemon: The moms were right. There's no such thing as astronaut Mike Dexter.
Liz Lemon Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Buzz Aldrin · Liz Lemon: Would you like to yell at the moon with Buzz Aldrin? / Yes, please. / I own you! You dumb moon! I walked on your face! Don't you know it's day? Idiot!
Liz's Mom (Margaret): Well, a mother makes sacrifices. Like those 16 hours I spent in labor, even though it was Margarita Monday at Dockside Joe's.
Liz Lemon · Margaret Lemon: Why does your chest feel weird? Uh, because I love you so much.
Novella Nelson · Tracy Jordan: You look beautiful... Mom. / Thank you. / Son. / I think I'm ready for the sex talk.
Liz Lemon: Mom, you were right to settle. I'm glad you married dad.
Jack Donaghy: What is wrong with you? I am 51 years old. Do you not think I can take care of my own personal life?
Colleen Donaghy: Think? I know you can't. You do a lot of things well — make money, choose wine, wear ties. But you and women? Disaster. Divorce. Broken engagements. I assume herpes.
Colleen Donaghy: And if I don't do something, you will never make a decision. You'll just froufrou around with Nancy and Avery until they're both gone.
Colleen Donaghy: And then where will I be? I'll be circling the globe in my coffin rocket. Something I saw on TV. It's very expensive.
Jack Donaghy · Colleen Donaghy: Tell me what to do. / I can't!
Kenneth Parcell · Jack Donaghy: I did not lose her, sir. Carl would never let you down. / Carl, that does not sound right. / Kevin--no. / Who am I? / Is it Keith? / No, that's not-- Yes, I'm Keith.
