Paul L'astnamé

It's, uh, 6:00.

Through a mutual fund. Friend, jenna. Oh, of course. Through a friend fund.

Oh, I work for a bank. -...Rupt circus. He works for a bankrupt circus.

I'm just feeling the weight Of jenna's jewelry on my finger pads.

I'd never tuck my penis again if she asked me.

Like at a haunted house sex party. Exactly.

Jenna and I are mirroring until we achieve touchless orgasm. / And... finished.

During Nude Hour, I got custard all over my penis.

I mean, come on, why can't we just paint each other's toenails, watch vintage pornography, and then go to bed in our swing like a normal couple?

I'm saying adopting a dog so it can watch us make love and then returning it, claiming that it bit our imaginary child, is everything that I need.

I'll trust you to fairly divide up our panties.

I don't think about kissing her or laughing with her or photographing her with just salamanders covering her nipples.

You can't be on the floor without your roller skates, Rick. I'm not Rick.

You dress as Natalie Portman from the movie Black Swan, and I dress as former Pittsburgh Steelers Wide Receiver and Pennsylvania Gubernatorial Nominee Lynn Swann. We're two black swans.

Is this just to talk, or will you be activating my electric underwear?

I mean, what if we had a child that was prettier than us? We'd have to leave it in a desert.

I want to hogtie you and hide you in the luggage compartment of a Greyhound bus with just a bowl of dirty water.

Is this just to talk, or will you be activating my electric underwear?

I want to hog-tie you and hide you in the luggage compartment of a Greyhound bus with just a bowl of dirty water.

I want to hog-tie you and hide you in the luggage compartment of a Greyhound bus with just a bowl of dirty water

I got you an early anniversary present. It's a new leash for when I walk you through the park like a dog.

I'll cancel the sitter for tonight, tell him he won't need to come sit on us after all

I am in the restaurant business, and I really love... golf playing

Oh. Well, I don't have one myself, but I do like a girl with a limp

You wanted us to be normal? Well, this is our normal, and this is what we think of your morality clause.

Give Mommy some beard. Oh, you've got some crumbs in here. Oh, eat it.

There you are! Bad dog! You'll go in the crate tonight.

Like all the Thai STDs my penis is about to give you.

The sex monkey I bought in Jakarta.

Yeah, easy for the person who never does the dishes.

How many times have you climaxed? Zero. Me too.

You know what, you and Jenna should come visit me and my wife in Montclair.

Sexual walkabout.

Liza Minnelli's baby tooth surrounded by rubies that passed through a terrified Michael Kors.

Rick Santorum is right Jenna. Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman.

I may have a dress and a wig and a gynecologist, but I am the man.

'Old' being an acronym for oxylaprodexatrin, a hallucinogenic plant extract that makes sex terrifying.

I guess I ate all that asparagus for nothing.

It's all right! The lack of oxygen is making me orgasm!

I am so honored to be taking your first and last name.