Introducing Tyrone Biggums

Dave Chappelle:Dave frames the entire show's premise by saying the only way America would listen to his thoughts is if a pretty white girl sang them

Dave Chappelle:Dave introduces the pretty white girl and says 'She's in my contract'

Pretty White Girl · Dave Chappelle:Pretty white girl sings 'Crack was invented and distributed to intentionally destroy the Black community' to a smooth R&B melody

Pretty White Girl:Pretty white girl sings 'AIDS was too' (also intentionally distributed to destroy the Black community)

Pretty White Girl:Pretty white girl sings 'The police never look for Tupac and Biggie's murderers'

Pretty White Girl:Pretty white girl sings 'Fuck the police' — audience applauds

Pretty White Girl:Pretty white girl sings about the Florida recount

Pretty White Girl:Pretty white girl sings 'O.J. didn't do it'

Pretty White Girl:Pretty white girl sings 'On second thought, yeah he did'

Pretty White Girl · Dave Chappelle:Pretty white girl sings 'Gay sex is gross. Sorry, I just find it to be gross — unless of course they're lesbians. I like lesbians.'

Pretty White Girl:Pretty white girl sings 'All Chinese people look alike. So do white people. Pretty much anyone who isn't Black looks alike to me.'

Pretty White Girl:Pretty white girl sings about wanting to stick a thumb in J-Lo's butt, then adds she wouldn't mind sticking fingers in 'that singing white girl's butt either'

Dave Chappelle:'And now it's time to collect ad revenue for Comedy Central. Revenue they don't share with my Black ass.'

Street Interview Woman · Street Interview Man:Street interview: woman describes a threeway as 'the craziest thing she ever did sexually'; man then says the craziest thing HE ever did was having sex with 'old Gangbang here' — referring to the same woman — without a rubber

Dave Chappelle:Dave announces his 'Miss Cleo-style phone line' scheme, then reveals 'I've got a nagging suspicion that bitch ain't Jamaican'

Announcer:Disclaimer: 'Dave Chappelle is not a psychic. He is merely a racist who believes that stereotypes dictate our futures.'

Dave Chappelle · White Woman Caller:Dave immediately diagnoses white caller's boyfriend as white ('so your current boyfriend is white') from a single phone call about butt size

Dave Chappelle · White Woman Caller:Dave guesses her parents kicked her out for dating a Black dude; woman says 'there's no way you could have known that unless you knew me!' Dave: 'Or if I dated four white girls myself.'

Dave Chappelle · Miguel:Dave identifies the second caller (foreign accent) as 'from south of the border' and guesses his name is Miguel

Dave Chappelle · Miguel:Dave tells Miguel: 'Stop... driving. You drive a pickup truck, don't you? And you don't have insurance, do you? Bam!'

Dave Chappelle · Announcer:Announcer reveals: 'Sometimes Dave will talk with a phony baloney Jamaican accent' — immediately followed by Dave doing exactly that

Dave Chappelle · Jail Caller:Jail call: Dave (in Jamaican accent) asks caller 'You Black, ain't you?' before the caller says anything; caller responds 'Yo, this nigga is off the hook!'

Dave Chappelle · Jail Caller:Dave predicts the jail caller is 'walking out free as a bird' then adds: 'I'm seeing something... it's six weeks later... you're going right back in the jail for the same shit'

Dave Chappelle:Rap interstitial: 'flippity-flap, flippity-float, flippity-fleep, here comes some jokes!'

Award Show Speaker · Announcer:The Wrap It Up Box sketch: An awards show speech is playing off by the box; speaker goes from profound personal story about dropping out of school to being abruptly wrapped up

Judge · Defendant:Judge in court is wrapped up mid-sentencing by the Wrap It Up Box — defendant flashes the box at the judge

Man · Woman:Sex scene: the Wrap It Up Box is deployed during sex; man keeps going — 'Psych! It ain't over. Not even close.' Box continues flashing; man ignores it repeatedly

Announcer:After the sex scene, the product's final tagline: 'The Wrap It Up Box — things will come to an end at the perfect time... whenever you want them to' — immediately contradicted by the sex scene not ending

Announcer:'Available at all Walbogs.'

Dave Chappelle:Dave introduces the Tyrone Biggums sketch by explaining drug-awareness week always ended with 'a real, live crackhead come talk to the kids'

Tyrone Biggums:Tyrone opens with 'It is truly an honor and a privilege for me to be here... I say it's a privilege because it's a violation of my parole to be around children'

Tyrone Biggums:Tyrone tells the kids: 'Y'all are looking at a dead man. I should not be in front of you today!'

Tyrone Biggums:Tyrone says he started doing drugs 'when I was little, just like you, fellow' — and then asks children to repeat 'marijuana' back to him

Tyrone Biggums:Tyrone describes smoking marijuana 'dipped in embalming fluid' — but frames it with 'me and my friends would laugh and giggle and eat all the cookies! It was terrible. Terrible.'

Tyrone Biggums:Tyrone describes acid as 'very inexpensive and affordable. Even young children could afford it... it's so bad.'

Tyrone Biggums:Tyrone describes his acid trip: Bugs Bunny, Scooby Doo, and 'all my favorite cartoon heroes' came to his room and ate cookies and sang songs for 16 hours

Tyrone Biggums:Tyrone re-creates Mickey Mouse 'doing the bass line' while clearly still experiencing the memory with joy: 'ba ba ba boo, ba ba ba boo'

Teacher:Teacher interview: 'And then he basically told them where and how to buy the stuff'

Tyrone Biggums:Tyrone gives children detailed instructions: steal $5-20 from mom's purse, take the D bus downtown, find a Latin American fellow named Martinez — 'We know that! And we know Martinez' stuff is the bomb!'

Tyrone Biggums:Tyrone tells kids to sniff magic markers to get high: 'What you think this is some kind of crayon? No. Take that cap off and sniff it. And you be high.'

Tyrone Biggums:Tyrone asks a child if they know what dog food tastes like: 'It tastes just like it smells... delicious! I'm gonna show you how I go to the bathroom.'

Tyrone Biggums:'That, children, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack. But it wouldn't be the last.'

Tyrone Biggums · Teacher:Tyrone calls the teacher 'teacher bitch' when interrupted; then demands cash for his speaker's fee: 'It's my money, bitch! I earned it!'

Dave Chappelle:Dave's post-sketch clarification: 'That's not real doo-doo. It was a Snickers bar, we melted it.'

Dave Chappelle:Dave describes catching the props guy mid-melting-Snickers in a suspicious pose — miming him looking like he's doing something illicit

Dave Chappelle · Audience Member:Dave is giving his outro thanks; gets Wrap It Up Box'd by someone in the audience: 'Yo, Chappelle! Wrap it up B!'

Dave Chappelle:'I'm rich, bi-atch!' (horn honking)

Tyrone Biggums:Tag scene: Tyrone running through the street screaming 'Peanut butter and crack sandwich!' (from the intro song)

Dave Chappelle · Tyrone Biggums:Tag scene: Tyrone crashes into something off-screen; Dave instructs him 'Lick your fingers'

Tyrone Biggums:Final tag: Tyrone screams 'Crack! Drugs and alcohol have ruined my life!' while apparently fleeing