Episode 4

Fleabag:Fleabag to Claire: 'Just don't tell her you got the statue from me, OK?'

Unknown:'You're just tipping your prime.'

Fleabag · Claire:Fleabag can't admit she's gripping the door handle during Claire's driving — 'Let go of the handle, then.'

Fleabag:Fleabag orders a vibrator for 'my very sexually frustrated sister'

Fleabag · Colleague:The sexual harassment case euphemism exchange — 'We haven't had the opportunity to support any women-led businesses since the... Sexual harassment case.' 'Yes, the sexual harassment case.'

Fleabag:'Do you know what the lesbian app for Grindr is called? Twat Nav.'

Claire:'Don't make this fun!'

Claire:Claire immediately sobs after laughing

Claire:'It's OK, I'm fucking OK, I'm excellent.'

Fleabag · Claire:Claire: 'I just sometimes need you not to...' Fleabag finishes: 'To take the piss.' Claire: 'Don't finish my sentences!' — then they both fumble trying to finish the sentence differently

Fleabag:'Fucking psycho.' (after a long, loaded silence in the car)

Fleabag · Claire:'Wow! Dad really splashed out this time. He must be about to do something awful.' 'No, it's just Mother's Day.' 'Oh.'

Fleabag · Claire:'We're not supposed to bond on this, are we? Because I really don't think that's going to end well. We're not supposed to talk at all. It's a silent retreat, God help us.'

Fleabag · Claire:'They're probably going to think we're a couple.' 'The fact that your mind even goes there is beyond disturbing.'

Fleabag:Fleabag, cheerfully: 'We'd make a really cute couple.'

Men's retreat group:The men's retreat next door shouts 'Sluts!' just as the sisters arrive at the women's retreat door

Fleabag:Fleabag: 'I'm going to die here. We're going to be raped and die.' / 'Every cloud...'

Fleabag · Claire:Host asks 'Two single beds or a double?' — Fleabag and Claire answer simultaneously and in opposite: Claire 'Two singles' / Fleabag 'A double, please.'

Claire · Fleabag:'What happened yesterday?' 'Sting wore white jeans and a puppy got stuck in a fan. Big day.'

Fleabag · Claire:The full unpacking sequence: Fleabag catalogues Claire's creams by body part — neck/chest, legs/knees, ends of hair, under-eyes, face and body — getting increasingly specific and absurd

Fleabag · Claire:'What would you do if someone stole all of those?' 'I'd kill myself.'

Fleabag · Claire:'Why are there no plug sockets in here?' — and the tiny batteries discovery

Fleabag:'If you want to have a wank, I can give you some space.' / 'I'll go into the bathroom and moisturise my wrists for a bit.'

Fleabag:The motivational tape says 'Let go of your past' — Fleabag: 'Bit on the nose.'

Fleabag:Fleabag realizes she's wandered into the MALE anti-misogyny workshop rather than the women's retreat

Retreat leader:'Trapping your thoughts in your skull. Think of it as a thought prison in your mind.'

Claire · Retreat leader:During meditation, a vibrator buzzes loudly from one of the bags — 'Shh!'

Men's workshop group:During meditation: 'Slut!' / 'Bitch!' / 'Bitch, bitch!' — shouts bleeding through from the men's workshop

Workshop Facilitator:After the men struggle to say anything positive, one finally says 'Well done, Patricia.' — and the facilitator's response: 'Very good. Please leave.'

Workshop leader · Workshop men:Men's workshop — 'What should we not say when we meet Patricia?' 'Clever little munchkin?' / 'Who did you blow to get that job?' / 'Slut, you fucking stupid slut.'

Workshop men · Workshop leader:'What should we say to her?' [long pause] 'Well done, Patricia.' 'Very good.'

Workshop men:The men then add 'Slut!' after saying 'Well done, Patricia' — they can't help themselves

Fleabag:'Literally her worst nightmare.' (Fleabag to camera, during the palm-touching meditation exercise)

Claire:Claire's visceral 'Eugh!' during the palm-touching exercise

Claire:'I can't feel my feet.' (during the shared bed scene after the meditation)

Claire:'When we were ten and cute. Now we're 30 and angry.'

Fleabag · Claire:Fleabag steals Claire's vibrator and checks 'if it's working' — 'Oh, it's working, it's definitely working.' KNOCKING follows

Retreat neighbor:'Have fun.' (from the neighbor, through the wall, after the vibrator goes off and knocking fails to stop it)

Claire:'It's actually a really thoughtful present. Thank you.' (Claire to Fleabag, in the dark, after a silence — about the vibrator)

Claire:'And Martin getting me that sculpture. He must have bent over backwards to get something like that.'

Fleabag:Fleabag confesses she stole the sculpture — 'and then I tried to sell it through Martin, but Martin took it and gave it to you'

Fleabag · Claire:Claire: 'I've always been insecure about my face.' / Fleabag: 'There's nothing wrong with your nose.'

Fleabag · Retreat Leader:Meditation prompt: 'If you could change anything in the whole world, what would it be?' Fleabag: 'My thighs.' Leader: 'In the whole world?' Fleabag: 'Don't tell anyone I said that.'

Fleabag:'We've paid them to let us clean their house in silence.'

Fleabag · Claire · Retreat leader:The retreat leader's alternatives for 'clients' — 'Clients.' / 'Inmates?' / 'Cleaners?' / 'Participants!'

Claire · Fleabag:'I got the Finland promotion.' [extended emotional scene] 'Does that mean you're a millionaire now? Handy.'

Fleabag:Jake 'freaks out if she's gone for longer than a day and he's got this thing about trying to get in the bath with her. He's 15.'

Fleabag:'No, no. No, Jake. No!' (Fleabag miming/reacting to the Jake bath story)

Fleabag · Claire:'Perfect place for your cold, cold heart.' / 'I know!'

Fleabag:'Your husband tried to kiss me on your birthday.'

Claire:Claire's reaction: an extended silence after 'Your husband tried to kiss me on your birthday' — then doors opening and closing

Fleabag · Man (the Banker):'Yeah, I...thought I recognised you.' / 'Fair enough.' / 'Probably for the best.'

The Banker:'I touched a colleague's breast. More than once. At a party.'

The Banker:'I'm just a very...disappointing man.'

The Banker:The Banker's monologue — what he actually wants — ending with 'I want to make her orgasm again. And again. Truly.' then 'I just want to cry. All the time.'

Workshop Man:The man's monologue about wanting to 'make my wife orgasm again. And again. Truly.' — delivered earnestly in a garden at a silent retreat

Boo:Boo's voicemail: 'Hi, this is Boo. I can't come to the phone right now, but please leave me a messiagio, and I'll get back to you.'