Fleabag and Claire return to their family home for the annual memorial lunch.
WAR
104.1
Wins Above Replacement
“Episode 5” ranks #10 of 12 Fleabag episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 93.1 — Elite. The episode packs 81 scored jokes at 4.3 per minute, averaging 7.4 on craft and 7.2 on impact, with Fleabag landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Fleabag: Fucked me up the arse. — as how they met
Fleabag Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Claire · Fleabag: Erm...what's his...? / Fucked me up the arse. / Oh. / Yep. It's... / Mm-hmm. / I totally see that now.
Stepmother Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Fleabag: it's nice to be touched — Fleabag's reason for not minding the annual screening
Fleabag Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Yeah, evil boobs everywhere.
Fleabag Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive All Jokes — 81 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Fleabag: I know I seem mental, but I'm fine.
Fleabag Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Fleabag: I stole that sculpture from a certain somebody's studio.
Fleabag Irony/Sarcasm Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Your husband tried to kiss me on your birthday.
Fleabag Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Stepmother Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Yeah, evil boobs everywhere.
Fleabag Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Fleabag · Doctor: Fleabag laughing during breast exam — 'I'm sorry, I'm just ticklish.'
Fleabag: Dad books us boob appointments once a year, to make sure our tits don't turn on us like Mum's did.
Fleabag Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Bet you look forward to seeing Claire. A lot more to touch, if you know what I mean.
Fleabag Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive Doctor: HE CLEARS HIS THROAT — Doctor's only response to Fleabag's inappropriate 'lot more to touch' comment
Doctor Reaction Beat Awkward Silence Fleabag: it's nice to be touched — Fleabag's reason for not minding the annual screening
Fleabag Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Doctor: I check for cancerous lumps in mammary glands. Now, any pleasure I derive from that is entirely dependent upon whether or not I am about to save your life.
Doctor Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Claire: Yeah, you left me on a fucking Silent Hill.
Claire Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Fleabag: I see it more as a sport. — Fleabag on visiting Dad being 'hell' for Claire
Fleabag Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Claire · Fleabag: Everything's totally fine. / It sounds like it's fine.
Claire: Let's just get out of this alive, OK?
Claire Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Fleabag · Stepmother: Oh, they're actually for Dad. — Fleabag correcting Stepmother's assumption about the flowers
Dad: DISTANT CHAINSAW BUZZES — immediately upon entering the house
Dad Visual Gag Dark/Subversive Fleabag · Claire: Who's Dad sawing in half? — Oh, just the tree.
Stepmother: Oh, I hope you don't mind my being here, but my Pilates fell through, so...
Stepmother Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dad: It's a sad day. A sad, sad day. — followed immediately by 'I'll get the champagne.'
Dad Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Fleabag: TOTAL SILENCE — then Fleabag to camera: '(This is my favourite bit.)'
Fleabag Awkward Silence Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Fleabag · Claire: I love your hat. — It's a hair scarf. — Looks like a hat. — Well, it's a hair scarf. — OK.
Stepmother: Oh, no. He's a different one. Ooh. You do turn over fast!
Fleabag · Dad: Dad will come in with some weird canapés in a second. — Girls!
Dad: You're both looking very healthy, very... very good and healthy and...
Dad Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dad: You are my... ..daughters. HE COUGHS.
Dad Awkward Silence Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dad · Fleabag · Claire: She always made them sound so rude... The squirrel voices were the best. / Run! Fucking run!
Stepmother: Yes, yes, my ex had a similar thing — voices and fun. Really, really funny man.
Fleabag: Plaits. Either she's got her period or some serious shit's gone down.
Fleabag Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Mum used to call it her monthly confidence crisis. But it's PMT.
Fleabag Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Fleabag: (I'm doing a wee on this cushion.) / What?!
Fleabag Meta/Self-Referential Absurdist ★ Rewatch Fleabag · Dad: The sculpture / stolen artwork confrontation — 'I don't want it in my house.' / '(I'm doing you a massive favour.)' / 'Come on, what's she going to do? Draw me?'
Fleabag Dad Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Fleabag · Claire: Why are we sneaking? / We're not allowed upstairs. / Of course we are.
Fleabag · Claire: I keep forgetting that she's actually talented. / I know, it's infuriating.
Fleabag · Claire: Where's her head? / She's got your boobs — she doesn't need one.
Fleabag: (Do you think she's ever painted Dad naked?)
Fleabag Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Fleabag: He hates being alone in a room with me. Watch this.
Fleabag Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Dad: Dad's panicked salt-searching: 'Oh! Uh...oh... Ah...erm... I just need some... Just need... I need some... salt. There it is.'
Dad Cringe/Discomfort Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Dad: Have you got enough... clothes?
Dad Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dad: We've just been keeping it quiet. We haven't been able to buy anything or do anything... What's that? Oh, that? That's just a tiny little house we're buying in France.
Dad Irony/Sarcasm Cringe/Discomfort Fleabag · Dad: Ooh...What's that? / Oh, that? That's just a...tiny little house we're...we're buying in...in France.
Dad · Fleabag · Claire: Oh, no! / Jesus, Dad! Again? / She mustn't see it. She mustn't find out. / Mmm, five second rule. / No, I have never bought into that rule. It's disgusting.
Fleabag: I mean, I didn't want to show off, but...
Fleabag Deadpan/Understatement Meta/Self-Referential Stepmother · Dad: Gosh... You really are... — the family's reaction to the boyfriend's looks
Fleabag: Fucked me up the arse. — as how they met
Fleabag Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Stepmother · Boyfriend: Actually, you know — and I can say this because I'm an artist — but you really are very good-looking. Thank you. Very. Thank you. Very. Thank you. I mean, almost... ..too good-looking.
Boyfriend: Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and do that old human thing.
Dad: Oh, and again... THEY LAUGH — second time someone has apparently spilled/knocked something
Dad Running Gag Physical/Slapstick Callback Stepmother: It's a 'sexhibition.'
Stepmother: simply a journey through my physical and sexual life, climaxing in a few pieces inspired by and moulded on your father
Stepmother Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Fleabag · Stepmother: Why? — Well, I think it's important for women of all ages to see how my body has changed over the years. I think they have to have a healthy perspective on my body.
Stepmother · Fleabag: I mean, I don't need to tell you, but your father is a deeply sexual man. / No, you don't. / Just did.
Stepmother: CAT MEOWS — as punctuation after 'I will be touched until the day I die. And so will you, Claire.'
Fleabag · Claire · Godmother: Tell Dad about your promotion, Claire. / There's nothing to tell. / Finland. / Oh! / Odd place.
Claire: Because you CAN'T just fuck off on aeroplanes, and leave your weird stepson and broken sister to fend for themselves, OK?
Claire Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Claire: I'm just so annoyed with myself! I wish I could just... meet myself and just... have a go at myself!
Claire Character Comedy Absurdist Fleabag: Do your worst. Come on, bitch!
Fleabag Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Callback Claire: You do not take yourself seriously as a businesswoman, you need to pay your fucking bills, you need to be nicer to Hillary and you need to get a new hat!
Claire Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Fleabag · Claire: Is that better? / Yeah, it's better.
Boyfriend · Fleabag · Godmother: The artwork in this house is...stunning. / Who is it? / If I tell you, will you promise to come to my sexhibition?
Stepmother: If I tell you, will you promise to come to my sexhibition?
Stepmother · Fleabag: How's your little restaurant? / It's a cafe. / Oh, don't do it a disservice. / I'm not. It's a cafe.
Stepmother · Fleabag: Oh, her dear little friend died, and left her to run the cafe on her own. / (Jesus.) / Oh, God, that is truly awful. How did she die? / Oh, she killed herself. / It was an accident.
Fleabag: We did this. — Mmm-hmm.
Fleabag Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Godmother: Well, if you rid a woman of her head and limbs, you can't expect her to do anything other than...roll around.
Godmother Dark/Subversive Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Callback Stepmother: Well, if you rid a woman of her head and limbs, you can't expect her to do anything other than... roll around.
Stepmother: Your father and I often say, when you've had a few drinks, you're so like your mother.
Stepmother Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Oh, whoops. — Fleabag apparently stumbles or knocks something after the emotional mother comparison
Fleabag Physical/Slapstick Reaction Beat Stepmother: Look at these. — the family looking at photos (presumably Stepmother's yearly naked photographs)
Boyfriend · Fleabag: Does anyone mind if I leave? I've got a dicky tummy. / So swift...
Boyfriend: I'm not going to kiss you because I'm probably very ill.
Boyfriend Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Dad: Goodbye then, my... ..my daughters.
Dad Running Gag Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Fleabag: Yeah. See you at the sexhibition.
Fleabag Running Gag Irony/Sarcasm Callback Dad · Claire · Fleabag: No, there's absolutely no need to... / Yes, lovely. / No, no - I'll definitely be there. / I will definitely be there.
Boyfriend: It's been really nice to spend the day with a normal family.
Boyfriend Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Claire · Fleabag: Erm...what's his...? / Fucked me up the arse. / Oh. / Yep. It's... / Mm-hmm. / I totally see that now.
Claire · Fleabag: What's his...? / Fucked me up the arse. / Oh. / Yep. It's... / Mm-hmm. / I totally see that now.
Claire: I'm going to leave Martin. / I'm going to give you the money for the cafe, / and I'm going to go to fucking Finland.
Claire Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Claire · Fleabag: Oh, and, erm... — followed by apparently revealing she took the sculpture — That is the coolest thing you've ever done. / I know.
Fleabag · Claire: Shall we...? / We can try.
Fleabag: I'll see you at the sexhibition.
Fleabag Running Gag Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Callback