The One with the Stoned Guy

Why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser?

Miss Tedlock, you're looking lovely today. May I say that is a very flattering sleeve length on you?

If this is about those prank memos, I had nothing to do with them. Nothing at all. Really. Nothing.

Never mind. But it was gonna be really good.

So I quit.

Was it a lot more money? Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be a guy who sits in his office worrying about the WENUS.

'The WENUS?' Weekly estimated net usage system. It's a processing term.

Oh, that WENUS.

I just don't have a lot of chefing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.

Thanks. I just don't see myself in a big white hat.

Can you see my nipples through this shirt?

No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there.

Where you going, Mr. Suit-ey Man? I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pilman, career counselor-a-go-go! I added the 'a-go-go.'

Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do.

I don't have a dream! The lesser known 'I Don't Have a Dream' speech.

Brian's Song!

Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears?

What are you gonna make? Yummy noises. And, Monica, what are you gonna make?

You should make that thing with the stuff. You know... that thing with the stuff?

How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free. Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?

I love you, Ross.

He's not speaking metaphorically.

I tell you, that monkey's a chick magnet. She's gonna look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.

We're talking about whipped fish. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down.

You're suited for data processing for a large multinational corporation.

That's so great because you already know how to do that!

You can see your nipples through this shirt.

The French call it an amuse-bouche. Well, it is amusing.

And I'm maintaining my amateur status so I can waitress in the Olympics.

You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76.

Talk dirty. Come on. Say something... hot! Vulva.

'Vulva?' All right, I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise. But it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.

Whoa, you cuddled? How many times?

Come on, come on. All right, ready? Oh, Ross... you get me so hot, I want your lips on me now. See? Now you say something.

Tell me you want to caress my butt! Okay, turn around. I don't want you staring at me while I do this.

Say it! Say it! --run it all over your body... until you're trembling with--

It's okay. It's okay. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.

It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home.

Stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You got the wrong guy!

Oh, look! That guy's peeing!

Last time I do that. I promise.

I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around.

In the cab on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie. Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja.

Okay, I'm with you, Cheech.

Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are fantastic!

'Tartlets?' 'Tartlets.' Word has lost all meaning.

These are-- They are like a little corn envelope, you know?

Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this!

Bears overboard! They're drowning! Hey, fellas! Grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves! Help! Help! I'm drowning! Help!

I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this... and you can't even wait 4 1/2 minutes for a tartlet?

I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines... themes, a motif. At one point, there were villagers.

Yes, Fran, I know what time it is... but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!

Oh, the throb!