The Gang's Still in Ireland

Charlie:Stew has never woken anyone up, ever.

Charlie:Oh, it worked! Here she comes!

It's, uh 'Patty's' with a T. P-A-T-T-Y.

Dennis:You can smell fresh peat grass burning in the fireplace...along with the evidence of Frank's involvement in a sex trafficking ring. Alleged.

Mac:No, because we don't have COVID like you do. You're sick.

Charlie:H-He's the, uh... cheese mongrel. Wow. I did not know he was a mongrel. Um, how severe is it? Can-can he walk? Does he drool, or...

Mac:Your brother, the cheese monster.

Mac:You know, when I was Irish first, then I wanted to find out what my heritage was. But now that I'm gay first, and that's my identity, then maybe I should just be plowing a bunch of dudes, and maybe a bunch of cheese monsters.

Dennis:Identity doesn't have to factor into absolutely every decision you make. If a man wants to stand, he doesn't go, 'Uh, uh, what would a Dutchman do? Would a Dutchman stand?' And if an Italian wants to eat a sandwich, he doesn't go, 'I have to eat plates of spaghetti because I'm an Italian.'

Dennis:If I got to stop mid-rant every time I want to order a beer, it's gonna interrupt my flow.

Dee:I think what they say is, 'Top o' the mornin'.'

Castle Owner:Ah, that's a stereotype.

Dennis:[Dennis coughs uncontrollably during his attempt to do the talking]

Dee:What‐what time is it? What day is it? Wait, did I miss the thing?

Dennis:What thing?

Dee:Oh, the show? Uh, the acting thing?

Dennis:Oh, yeah, you missed it.

Dee:You know what it is? He's a mongrel. And that's why I've always been the talker. We have to keep him in the basement in America, 'cause one of his ticks is that he brutally masturbates himself.

Dee:Yeah, he does a real number on it. Yeah. He's shredded it down to a little tiny nub at this point.

Dee:Yeah. He‐he's shredded it down to a little tiny nub at this point.

Dee:He's also allergic to sheep.

Charlie:I bash a lot of rats in my business, too. And‐and rats love cheese, so I imagine y‐you get a lot of 'em here.

Charlie:I bash a lot of rats in my business, too. And rats love cheese, so I imagine you get a lot of 'em here.

Charlie:This is the tits right here... That's a miss. It's got something in it like sand. It's full of sand... It's seeds. And there's too many of 'em.

Mac:Okay, so, I used to be Irish, and now I'm Dutch... I wanted to run through a bunch of pipe, if you know what I mean... But then I decided, you know what? I only want one man inside of me. The Big Man. The Big Man upstairs... I'll take all three of them at once. I've done that before. That was more in a physical sense, not a spiritual one.

Mac:I've done that before. That was more in a physical sense, not a spiritual one. And believe me, it was messy. Totally worth it, though. I loved it.

Mac:I'll just get in the back of the line, and then, uh, get the cracker, and then we'll talk later.

Dennis:Yeah. A mother went insane and beheaded all four children. Just chopped their heads right off... that's decidedly less charming, isn't it?

Frank:I banged her, too.

Charlie:All right, well, Mom got around.

Frank:I banged her, too.

Charlie:All right, well, Mom got around.

Charlie · Shelley · Frank:[Lengthy Irish folk song performance by Charlie and Shelley, Frank awkwardly trying to join in]

Mac:I've been S'ing and F'ing my way through life for far too long. I think it's time that I started sucking down the words of the Bible. And instead of looking for pieces of ass, I'd just look for peace.

Mac:Oh, Father, look, I‐I've been S'ing and F'ing my way through life for far too long. I think it's time that I started sucking down the words of the Bible.

Mac:I will S and F him into oblivion. I mean, he looks like Paul Bunyan. I need more of, like, a... Elmer Fudd. You got any Fudds?

Dennis:I just need a good night's sleep.

Dennis:I'm not even talking to you. I'm talking to the castle.

Dennis:The hair is a lie, and therefore, it's better to just remove the head altogether.

Dennis:The hair is a lie, and therefore, it's better to just remove the head altogether.

Dee:[Dee gets attacked by sheep while trying to ring the bell tower bell]

Dennis:Off with her head!

Frank:What if I poop the bed? Who's gonna be in there to laugh with me?

Frank:What if I poop the bed? Who's gonna be in there to laugh with me?

Charlie:I should eat it again. Then it would be funny 'cause I didn't learn my lesson... No, that wouldn't be funny. It'd just be kind of dumb, you know.