Fantasy Borough 2

Latka:I see picture of little man on Fantasy Island. He say 'De plane, de plane!' Why he so happy to see airplane?

Tony Banta:Because he's stuck on an island, Latka. That's the whole show.

Latka:Oh. I thought he owned airline.

Driver:You won't believe who I just saw!

Driver:It's Hervé Villechaize!

Driver:From Fantasy Island!

Unknown characters:You seem to have a perspective on world events that somehow eludes the average man. You're no slouch yourself.

Alex Reiger:Halt! Nobody move!

Tony Banta:What's going on?

Alex Reiger:I've had this dream a thousand times. I'm a tough Marine drill sergeant, and I've got to stop you all before you make a terrible mistake.

Elaine Nardo:Alex, what are you talking about?

Alex Reiger:I can't let you leave this garage. It's my dream, and I'm in charge here.

Tony Banta:You've had this dream a thousand times?

Alex Reiger:Well, maybe not exactly a thousand times. I've had lots of dreams like it.

Unknown character:Wow! You guys are funny-lookin'.

Latka:You know, I do impression of you.

Herve Villechaize:Oh, you do?

Latka:Yeah, yeah. 'De plane! De plane!'

Herve Villechaize:Well... that's very good.

Latka:It was impression, yes?

Herve Villechaize:Yes, yes, it was.

Louie:You know, hearing you talk about all those terrible people in show business, it makes me glad I never went into that business.

Alex:Even my fantasies go wrong. Last night I'm in bed with Cheryl Ladd, and she keeps asking me what I do for a living.

Fantasy woman:You have a nice back of your head.

Alex:Thank you. And you have a nice front of your head.

Fantasy woman:Well, I have something to look forward to.

Alex:So do I.

Fantasy woman:You know, you're not rude like the other cab drivers.

Alex:Well, don't worry. Give me time.

Alex:It's hot in here. Is it hot in here?

Fantasy woman:It's not the temperature, Alex. It's you.

Alex:Me? What's wrong with me? Should I adjust the thermostat?

Fantasy woman:Oh Alex, this is so wonderful.

Alex:Yeah, it really is.

Fantasy woman:My husband is going to be so jealous.

Alex:Your what?

Alex:I wasn't sleeping.

Alex:I was just resting my eyes.

Unknown character:You could always make her single.

Alex:Oh sure, and then what? I'd have to get her a job, find her an apartment, set up a social life for her...

Fantasy woman:I was just being cautious. But now I'm willing to risk it.

Alex:Risk what?

Fantasy woman:You coming on to me.

Alex:So, uh, would you maybe want to get some coffee sometime?

Fantasy woman:Coffee? That's your idea of romance?

Alex:Well, we could get coffee... and maybe a muffin?

Passenger:Don't worry, it's just a fantasy.

Alex:I know, but I can't stop the cab!

Alex:The brakes aren't working!

Alex:We're going to crash!

Alex:Ahhhhh!

Alex:I can't even succeed at my own fantasies.

Alex:Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me nothing can go wrong in this fantasy?

Unknown character:That's right. In fantasy, anything is possible. You're perfectly safe.

Alex:But what about the woman in the car I just hit?

Woman:I'm worried you're going to get in trouble.

Alex:Don't worry, I'll talk to Louie. He's very understanding.

Fantasy woman:Oh Alex, this is so romantic...

Alex:Wait, wait. Did you write this down in your diary?

Fantasy woman:What? No, I... why?

Alex:Because if you didn't write it down, it didn't happen.

Fantasy woman:I love you.

Alex:I love you too.

Fantasy woman:You're perfect.

Alex:You're perfect too.

Fantasy woman:I remember when I was a little girl, my Uncle Alex used to take me to the park. He was so kind and gentle with me.

Alex:Wait... your Uncle Alex?

Fantasy woman:Yes, he was my favorite uncle. I had such a crush on him back then.

Alex:I'm Alex.

Fantasy woman:So, how have you been?

Alex:Oh, you know, same old thing. Work's been crazy.

Fantasy woman:That's nice. Well, your father got promoted.

Alex:That's great!

Fantasy woman:And your mother's been taking pottery classes.

Alex:Oh really?

Fantasy woman:Yes, she made a very nice bowl last week.

Louie:Fantasies? Sure, I got fantasies. I fantasize that I'm the object of other people's fantasies.

Louie De Palma:You know what? I'm gonna save the city money on the heating bill. I'm turning down the thermostat to 28 degrees.

Tony Banta:28 degrees? Louie, water freezes at 32 degrees.

Louie De Palma:So what? We'll all be frozen. We won't feel cold.

Latka:You know, during the Depression, everybody suffered.

Louie:Yeah, but at least we had each other.

Alex:That's right. We shared what little we had.

Bobby:But you know who really had it tough? The rich people.

Tony:What are you talking about?

Bobby:Think about it. They had to hide their money. They couldn't enjoy it. They were afraid someone would kidnap them for ransom.

Danny:You know, Bobby's got a point.

Rieger:You've got a terrible cough. You should see a doctor.

Louie:It's nothing. Just a little cough.

Rieger:Louie, you sound awful. What did the doctor say?

Louie:Double pneumonia.

Rieger:Double pneumonia?! That's serious!

Louie:Nah, it's nothing. I've had worse.

Wheeler:You mean you're actually dying?

Louie:Yeah, that's what the doc said.

Wheeler:Well, that's okay then.

Louie:What are you doing wearing that outfit? It's practically see-through!

Wife:Well, I'm hot!

Louie:Hot? You think you're hot? I keep the garage at 28 degrees, but I keep this house at 85!

Louie:Hey, hey, hey! Don't tell 'em what happens next!

Louie:Where's the surprise?

Louie:You know, that cartoon dog makes more in a week than you make in a year.

Louie:And that movie dog? Forget about it. He's got a better agent than half the actors in this town.

Louie:You're fired. Now get out of here. Take a walk.

Lassie:*walks in a circle and sits back down*

Louie:It was a dream.

Elaine:No, I'm not telling you my fantasy.

Jerry:Come on, just tell me.

Elaine:No way. You'll think I'm weird.

Jerry:I won't think you're weird. I promise.

Elaine:Well... it involves you, me, and a tuna sandwich.

Jerry:A tuna sandwich? What am I doing with the sandwich?

Elaine:If I told you, your head would explode.

Elaine:We always play cards. We play cards every day. That's all we do is play cards. Play cards.

Elaine:I'm performing an elaborate fantasy sequence here!

Unknown character:Yeah, but you're blocking the bathroom.

Elaine:Oh for heaven's sake, just go around!

Elaine:Wait, wait, wait. I'm doing a whole Broadway number here!

Stage Manager:(calling out) Cue the lights!

Elaine:No, no, I need the spotlight on me first!

Stage Manager:(calling out) Drop the curtain!

Elaine:The curtain?! We haven't even gotten to my big number yet!

Elaine:Now I want you to do a triple axel, but make it look effortless, like you're just casually gliding across the ice while simultaneously expressing the inner turmoil of a woman scorned.

Elaine:And when you land, I need you to convey both vulnerability and strength, all while maintaining perfect posture and making sure your costume catches the light at exactly the right angle.

Elaine:Oh, and one more thing — add a backflip in there, but make it subtle. I want the audience to wonder if you actually did a backflip or if they just imagined it.