After Shelbyville accuses Springfield of being hicks, Marge convinces the townspeople to fund a Frank Gehry-designed concert hall, which is then converted to a prison when the concert hall goes bankrupt on opening night. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa investigate Snowball II's recent weight gain.
WAR
55.4
Wins Above Replacement
“The Seven Beer Snitch” ranks #190 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.4 — Elite. The episode packs 72 scored jokes at 4.1 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Lisa: This is worse than when we thought Mom was having an affair. Turned out she was just going to the library to cry.
Lisa Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Springfield Residents: They're saying Springfielders are stupid hicks. It's like lookin' in a mirror. What's a mirror? It's a big city word for reversifyin' glass.
Springfield Billy · Shelbyville Resident: I came here for the legalized gambling. But Springfield Billy, we don't have legalized gambling here. Sure you do. I saw a bumper sticker that said 'Free Tibet.'
Homer: I only did what I had to do to survive... in a style befitting a French monarch.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Prison Guard: When I was a boy, I saw my father murdered before my eyes. By me.
All Jokes — 72 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Marge: They have a store that just sells shoes. I feel like I'm in Paris!
Marge Character Comedy Observational Homer: All plays suck, all the time, and always will, and everyone knows it!
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Homer: We'll go see a play... that Lisa doesn't want to see.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Narrator/Sign: the Three Dollar Bills in Gay, Gay, Gay!
Shelbyville Singer: We're home to Christian, Muslim and Jew / Although not many of the last two.
Shelbyville Singer: There's a girl for every guy / Birthplace of the button fly
Shelbyville Residents: The only thing lower than our humidity are the greens fees on our public golf course. Which one? - All three!
Springfield Billy · Shelbyville Resident: I came here for the legalized gambling. But Springfield Billy, we don't have legalized gambling here. Sure you do. I saw a bumper sticker that said 'Free Tibet.'
Springfield Residents: They're saying Springfielders are stupid hicks. It's like lookin' in a mirror. What's a mirror? It's a big city word for reversifyin' glass.
Cultural Board Member: This is the worst crisis the Springfield Cultural Activities Board has ever faced.
Cultural Board · Newspaper Headline: show them we're more than just a town that's still afraid of eclipses. God steals sun : Mayor offers sacrifices
Criminal Board Member: Hey, how 'bout we open a fancy restaurant, and when people check their hats and coats, we steal 'em?
Board Member · Snake: Why do you come to these meetings? Free water.
Marge: Think, Marge, think. Culture... vulture... birds of prey... pray in a church... the Father, Son and Holy Ghost... ghosts are scary... scary rhymes with Gehry!
Marge Absurdist Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Cultural Board Member: They're playing Gustav Mahler in abject squalor.
Musicians: Little help? Next time we're keeping it.
Marge in letter: we were the first city in America to abandon the metric system.
Gehry · Lisa: You wrote I was 'the bestest architect in the world'? Well, aren't you?
Mayor Quimby: All in favor of building a $30 million 'screw you' to Shelbyville?
Skateboarder: Yo, Frank Gehry! Like curvi-linear forms much?
Lisa · Homer: Dad, Snowball's not fat. She's just got winter fur. Okay, she's fat.
Snowball: Can't breathe... Someone dangle some string.
Springfieldian: So? We already heard the 'dum dum dum dum.' The rest is just filler.
Audience Member: I thought this was gonna be the soundtrack to the movie Beethoven. Was I sadly mistaken.
Conductor: The next piece is an atonal medley by Philip Glass.
Mayor Quimby · Citizens: We change the name of the town to escape our creditors. Lima, Peru! Gotham City! Wiggumville! Burger King!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Homer: Cool, but I'll never pass with this. I better switch samples.
Homer Visual Gag Character Comedy Burns: I haven't seen so many drugs in a wang since I ran a Chinese opium den!
Burns Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Burns: Crack, smack, uppers, downers, outters, inners, horse tranquilizers, cow paralyzers, blue bombers, green goofers, yellow submarines, LSD Mach 3
Burns Escalation Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Homer: Well, there must have been a mistake. My body is a temple.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Burns: Guards, remove this coked-out man-balloon from my sight!
Burns Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer: But he misread my pee! He misread my pee!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Bart: I'd rather follow the dog. I think he's up to something.
Bart Character Comedy Absurdist Lisa: This is worse than when we thought Mom was having an affair. Turned out she was just going to the library to cry.
Lisa Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Burns · Chief Wiggum: We need more convicts in the dungeonarium. Dungeonarium. That's catchy.
Chief Wiggum: It's unlawful for a man to be hatless during daylight hours.
Chief Wiggum: Five kicks of the same can shall be considered illegally transporting litter.
Chief Wiggum: We're puttin' you away, Kicky Mantle.
Chief Wiggum: And give that can the whole CSI treatment. You know, lab tests, weird lights, shots from the can's point of view.
Chief Wiggum: Lots of flash and no meaning.
Prison Guard: I'm sick of you positing an alternate reality!
Prisoner: No Frank Gehry-designed prison can hold me!
Prisoner Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: Really? You mean eat cheese, gnaw through electrical cords, things like that?
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: Well, I am a sucker for a little hat.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Homer: Well, I would like to survive long enough to see the effects of global warming. I've got an inside tip that it's all a bunch of crap.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Fat Tony: Sometimes I go to movies alone.
Fat Tony Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Prisoner: G.M.S.: Galactic Mystery Solvers. The only mystery we couldn't solve was how not to grow up.
Prisoner Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Tattoo Prisoner: Solitary confinement? But without my weekly canasta, I'll die. It's-it's my raison d'être.
Other Family: And for your information, our walls have a bunch of dead raccoons in them, but we are saving up the money to find them.
Other Family: C'mon, Smokey, do your Smokey shuffle.
Lisa: You toyed with my heart like it was a toy heart.
Lisa Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Fat Tony: we must determine which of our fellow inmates has become the Rodentus Incarcerarium.
Fat Tony Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Prisoners: I ain't the rat; I'm the pigeon. I thought you was the mole. No, you're thinking of that guy who was the canary. But we can all agree, we work in a business with a very rich lexicon.
Prisoner: Rich lexicon, very rich.
Prisoner Deadpan/Understatement Callback Callback Homer: Sure, they're on top of the world. Then there's a big riot scene. Then... I don't know. I usually doze off.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: What are you dopes looking at? You've never seen bling-bling before?
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Bart · Other Family Mother: My baby turtle crawled into your basement window. Oh, you poor boy. What's your turtle's name? Apron Boobs-face?
Other Family Mother · Bart: And what's your name? Shoes... Butt-back?
Homer: Are biographies arranged by author or subject?
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection Other Family Mother · Bart: You forgot to take some brownies. Thanks, Mother Dexter!
Guards: Something don't feel right. Usually when there's a jailbreak, there's electricity in the air, like the calm before a summer storm. Or, right before a heavyweight fight. Mine's more poetic.
Guards Character Comedy Observational Prisoner: I call the balls of his feet!
Homer: I only did what I had to do to survive... in a style befitting a French monarch.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Kent Brockman: This red glow is the heat from a pack of inmates who are desperately looking for prison snitch, Homer Simpson-- this massive blob over here-- who is attempting to hide in the kitchen
Marge: Oh, you must be Michael's dad!
Marge Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Prisoner: Tear gas, my one weakness.
Burns: This prison will make Abu Ghraib look like the Four Seasons.
Burns Dark/Subversive Observational Homer: They feed us horse meat, with traces of jockey meat!
Prison Guard: When I was a boy, I saw my father murdered before my eyes. By me.
Governor: I'm releasing you all to a garbage barge, where you will bare-knuckle-box till one of you emerges as king of your floating hell.
Governor Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lisa: No, Dad, you fell asleep in front of the TV, watching The Towering Inferno.
Lisa Character Comedy Misdirection Top Episodes — The Simpsons
